Just wanted to say that - I'm really glad
cameragirl21 wrote: that we can have a civil discourse about a heated and controversial topic without too many feathers being ruffled. Obviously emotions get in the way but I've seen other message boards where people have come to (figurative) blows and people have been threatened (literally) over much simpler things.
That's part of the reason I keep coming back here, I can always count on a good exchange of ideas and I've learned a lot from many of you.
As to my being a mother or not, or why I'm here, that is an issue I've not felt ready to share with the board yet because I do feel I've been judged here before and am not ready to be judged about this particular issue.
I am a strong person but not quite that strong.
As time passes and as I start to feel a little more comfortable, I will tell all of you about that and answer that question for you.
I wish all of you a wonderful and peaceful day for today and for all of eternity.
Be well,
Jennifer
Hillbilly Housewife replied: 
TANNER'S MOM replied: As parents it is sometimes hard for us to not be afraid when NON parents come here. We share a lot pf information...pictures,thoughts and personal feelings in this group. In many ways we are family.
We have to protect our children! I don't know your story..but I do know the fact that you have not mentioned being a parent puts my red flags up!
I have also noticed you like the controversial posts..I understand that. I think it is hard for me personally to reply to controversial post with you when you haven't mentioned being a parent. How can you have thoughts and feelings about parenthood, loss or bliss of it if you can't mention your own experiences.
mckayleesmom replied: Ditto to Mel. I have thought it, but couldn't find a way to say it in a decent way....Good Job Mel.
And now Im just confused because I believe..you said in another post you were on BC for 10 years, didn't want kids in another and were not married.......So now Im wondering what the big secret is.
Im hoping that in time, you learn to trust us and the big mystery makes all this make sense.
punkeemunkee'smom replied: ITA with Mel! In this day and age we can't be too careful with the safety of our children. This board has taken in some seemingly wonderful moms only to find out later thay were not who they claimed to be. Based on your previous posts I was just stating my concerns and asking an outright question instead of sitting here wondering. I am sorry for whatever you feel you have to hide. The people on this board have always been very open to helping someone get through difficult situations but unless you are willing to share your story I think the question of why you are here will remain fresh  
jcc64 replied: To me, whether or not you are a mother is completely irrelevant. You should feel no compulsion to share any personal information that makes you feel uncomfortable. This issue has come up before on the board, and being a parent is not a prerequisite according to the terms of service.
I read the locked thread, and found some of it pretty interesting, and some of it pretty depressing. I'm always fascinated to listen to people share their ideas about faith in a rational way. Being an atheist myself, I am very curious about how people come to their religious beliefs. I believe faith is a gift to treasure, particularly during the "bad times", and you are very lucky if you can embrace it wholeheartedly and unquestioningly. Aimee wondered how anyone can get through some of life's traumas without faith, and I will answer you- it is not easy. Period. I am jealous of people that believe in heaven, but I am also sorry for people that believe in hell.
I, unfortunately, don't happen to be one of those people that can accept the presence of a higher being of any religion. I just can't talk myself into it- and I've tried, many times. I've searched and thought and spoken at length to people of all persuasions- nuns priests, rabbis, soldiers, Holocaust survivors, you name it. Everyone had something important to share ,from which I learn and grow, but it still leads me back to the same place. Maybe my search is not over yet, and I think the search itself is one of the great things about being human. But for now, i accept this about myself.
I think the trouble comes when we assume that our beliefs, whatever they happen to be, are the only answer. That is when we have war, and death, and jihad, and on and on. This will never change as long as people engage in this behavior. It's happening right here on this board right now. It's one of the biggest reasons I've come to reject organized religion. Anyway, I hope all of us who come here to share our lives and our children and our stories can learn to accept the views of everyone as legitimate and worthy of hearing, whether you agree or not. From this point on, I would respectfully request that threads not be targeted at one particular group or another. If you don't want to hear the views of everyone here, then maybe a site specifically oriented towards your own particular religion might feel more comfortable for those types of questions.
C&K*s Mommie replied: Glad that you have found a great place among the men and women here at Parenting Club, Jennifer. They truly are a rare group of people who can share opinions in a civilized manner. The administrators and moderaters play a BIG part in ensuring that everyone understands that this is an open forum, but that certain lines should not be crossed (i.e. in bashing another).
I hope in time too, that you can find trust in us enough to share your story of you being a mother or not. I agree though about the redflags being sent up.
We are open about our families, and in many cases without great hesitation on being judged. Maybe in time you too will see that you will not be judged, and you can be open and honest as well.
Kaitlin'smom replied:
 I am uttlery shocked at this statement of yours.
Deffinalty puts ideas into my head.
Most people who come here come for PARENTING advice/help, thats the backbone of the board, and to make a statement like this makes parents lery, and yes probably more judgemental.
Its a simple question your either a PARENT or not.
Maddie&EthansMom replied:
Jeanne I certainly hope I didn't come off that way. I don't have all the answers and that is why I was quoting scripture b/c when I have a question the Bible always has an answer and that is where I find peace. 
I respect that people have different religions. She was asking how we, as christians get thru something like that...how do we explain it. That's where I felt lead to answer her. From a christian standpoint. I know everyone has their viewpoints on their religions,but when someone inquires about my faith it is my duty to answer them and give them knowledge thru scripture.
I came to my religious beliefs thru experience and study of the gospel. It was then that I accepted Christ into my heart and He has done amazing things in my life. I feel the need to share these things with others. But only when asked or that door is open.
luvbug00 replied: It doesn't bother me wither or not your a parent. we have several young ladies on here who are not parents and have no intention of being in the near futre. But they have stated why they are here. Make siggys, get advice to help them speak to their parents . etc. I think it's just we don't know much about you other then what you have said. your religon and your hobbie and occupation in photography. we like to get to know the people we talk to and learn to trust eachother so that maybe we can share things that are deep and get the support we all look for in a friend. 
CantWait replied: I think Nadia and Mel said it bang on. At the same time though, I can understand where you're coming from. Many of us go to P&I to share our to personal for GD stories. I hope in time you can come to trust us, although at the same time, I hope you're not pulling our chain.
mckayleesmom replied:
Exactly......I could care less if you are a parent or not either. There are some people that come here who are trying, or here for other informaition from us...etc. But they state what that is...Does that make sense? I guess we have just never figured out how we are benifiting you if you are not a parent and don't plan to be one.... 
For example...if you would have came here and asked for opinions from parents on your photography ...I wouldn't have thought twice. But I haven't seen a post like that...unless I missed it.
jcc64 replied: Aimee, absolutely NOTHING you said was upseting to me. In fact, I really look forward to your posts about spirituality as a beacon of someone who truly lives and breathes the word of Christ.
I can really see how your religion has informed everything about your life, and I admire your sincerity. I was referring more to some other comments made, but honestly, nothing anyone said was offensive to me personally. I was speaking more in general terms about how to avoid getting tangled up in the standard- your god can beat up my god kind of stuff.
holley79 replied:
Maddie&EthansMom replied:
Thank you, Jeanne. I'm honored to hear you say that. Truly I am.
redchief replied: I know I'm in the minority here, but there you go. I fully understand that some members may have closeted skeletons they're not willing to reveal. I think it a better bet that there are a lot of skeletons rattling around in "there." We all form our own opinions regarding the membership here, dynamically, every day. This board and others like it offer an opportunity for people to share ideas with some anonymity; as much as they wish to keep. That allows for expression of ideas beyond what many people would be able to do in a more intimate environment. So, for that, this board offers people an outlet for ideas where they might otherwise be unable to share, and that's a good thing.
As far as religion goes, my particular faith is a minority here too, so I generally offer little in the open forum other than an initial position. I've offered more in the past and been disappointed in the outcome, so I stay fairly quiet in those debates.
I must agree with Mel and some of the others, though Jennifer. You do seem to leave controversy in your wake, and that is upsetting to some people who have had little time to get to know you. I expect that, in time, the members will become more comfortable with your positions on topics as they "get to know" you. I believe, above all else, that patience is in order. This group of people has become quite intimate and willing to discuss deep rooted feelings.
I hope I speak for everyone when I say that all members, older and newer, are vital to the success and versatility of these forums. I think most would also agree that it takes an indeterminate period of time to build your aquaintance with the others. This is not a bad thing, though I've seen many come and go who could not weather that period. I look forward to learning about you and how you came to this place. I believe your story is more than interesting, and I'm willing to wait until you feel comfortable enough to share of yourself. The only thing I ask is that you give the other members the same respect, and understand their caution.
Crystalina replied: I'm not sticking up for Jennifer because I don't even know her but I do want to say this...this is a public forum. Period. If you want added security join a private one but even they have very limited security. If you are leary of a member then stear clear of them. One member posted that she has not answered posts from Jennifer because she is leary. Fine. Then don't. If just baffles me how we all come on here and post pictures and personal stories and then get "leary" and "red flags" when someone "may" be suspicious or whatever. Hello! this is the internet. IF you want to be totally safe and not have someone that makes you uncomfortable around then message boards are not for you. How many times have we "gotten close" to a member just to find their name unregistered when we come back? It happens. I know that the staff here is on it but they are not the "know all, see all". They can only do so much. Its a chance we all take coming to forums. kwim?
jcc64 replied: Ita, Crystal.
TANNER'S MOM replied:
ITA..I don't post more than I need too. I too am the staff here.
But I still call them like I see them.
coasterqueen replied:
ITA Crystal.
ashtonsmama replied:
Major
My question is this: why would a non-parent WANT to come to a parenting forum? Doesn't that sound a little strange to you? It does to me.
JMO.
kimberley replied:
ITA, and thank you for posting that Crystal.
i am sure there are small details of all our lives we don't share all the time because they are painful and we couldn't handled judgement on top of our own hurt so we don't tell it. like marital, intimacy, parental, work, whatever problems.
i don't think that makes us any less worthy of being here and sharing what we can with "friends" because that is what i consider a lot of you. it is comforting to have a place like this when i would otherwise have nothing.
i just worry that our community can be a bit hard on newcomers because we are so close and have had a few members "unregister" but that is the risk we take as Crystal said. i hope we can extend the same courtesy to our new members that we would with our long term members.
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