Just can't bring myself to tell my mother.

amynicole21 wrote: Every time I call my Mom just to chat and to maybe tell her about my pregnancy I end up deciding against it. My mother is such a negative person. Every phone call is all about how bad work sucks, her foot is broken (she just KNOWS it is!), it's been raining for two days and her friend's mother died. Nothing positive, funny, interesting... never. I know she would be thrilled beyond belief to hear the news, but I just get so annoyed with her that I don't want to deal with it... I just want to get off the phone as quickly as possible. Not to mention that she will walk into work tomorrow and tell everyone from the janitor to the president of her company that she's going to be a grandma again. It's like she has to be the center of attention Even if I ask her not to say anything because it's too early, she'll just gossip to her heart's content. I guess I'll find the right time at some point... it'll just take some time

MomToMany replied: I'm so sorry your mom is like that. Mine is in a way, too, but not so negative. She loves gossip, and needs to know everything about everyone. I waited a long time to tell her too. There was never the perfect time to.

Maybe you should just wait and let her figure it out on her own, LOL! I've thought about doing that!

paradisemommy replied: ugh..that's gotta be pretty frustrating! oh well - in due time..you know her best and i'm sure the time will come!

Schnoogly replied: I told my mom when I was 8 weeks. And now I have to call and tell her I'm miscarrying. So I recommend waiting a bit, esp. if she's less than supportive.

coasterqueen replied: Amy....we must have twins for mothers. My mother is the SAME way. I did tell her though and of course she had to tell everyone etc etc etc. What's funny is when I call to tell her updates on what's happening with the baby with all the spotting, etc she listens to what I say and then changes the subject immediately. She goes right into something about herself. I don't know why I update her anymore. And when she does actually listen the only thing she says is "so do you know if it's a boy yet?"

I say wait until you feel ready. The good thing for you is your mom doesn't live close by right? Mine lives 1.5 miles away from me so I can't avoid her.

momof2girls replied: that stinks!! my mom is almost the same way, my borther told her one day she is sooo negative and she asked me if I thought she was, I told her honestly, yes...
gave her some examples and I think since then she is much better...
she just used to complain about EVERYTHING, it would make me crazy, she lives in Mi and when she would come to visit I would just feel so blah and so bad that she got on my nerves so bad....

does your mom live in the same state?

amynicole21 replied:
Thankfully, NO! She lives up in Pennsylvania... that's the reason I no longer live in Pennsylvania

My mother loves to complain... it's part of her personality. Doom and gloom all the time, except for the occasional juicy tidbit of gossip she can spread

Kirstenmumof3 replied: Awwww I'm sorry your mother is like this, I know what you mean! My parents are the same way and when I was pregnant with all 3 of my children it took me about 3mths before I said anything to them! She will be happy when she does find out though, you can't keep it a secret forever!

Kaitlin'smom replied: I would wate a bit longer then, sorry your mom is like this. My mom was thrilled when she found out I was expecting, and I kow if I were to have another (no we dont plan on this) she would be so happy. No on the other hand they are less thrilled that my sister is TTC, olny because she is rushing things she is only been married 4 months and they just bought a house (one that is a bit more than they can afford)

you have plently of time to tell her, just hold off and enjoy it for your self for now

DansMom replied: So, Amy... how did I miss this? Are you expecting? If so, congratulations!!

I agree with others---just wait a bit if talking with your mom is just a downer. Sorry she's like that, though---how disappointing.

amynicole21 replied:
Yes! That announcement happened while you were on vacation Thanks!

kit_kats_mom replied: That stinks. I'm sorry that your mom is a negative person. that has to be hard to not be able to share your news with her.

Maddie&EthansMom replied:

I really feel for you. I am having the same exact trouble with my mother. She is just so negative. She has absolutely nothing to be happy about, ever. Hang in there. The time will come. I'm sorry you are having so much trouble opening up to her.

Can I ask how old your mother is? And Karen yours too (if you see this)

Aimee

amynicole21 replied: My mom turned 60 this year

MomToMany replied:
LOL, my mom is 63.

kimberley replied: ugh sorry you have to deal with that. i agree about waiting to tell her. i didn't even tell my mom i was pg with Jade. my grandmother did because i had a feeling she would rain on my parade... and she did. when she found out, she called me and was acting like i had some terminal disease instead of a beautiful life. she can't understand why anyone would have more than 1 kid (she had 2) and sends nothing more than an email on my 2 youngest's birthdays but a present for my oldest she is 49yo and heading straight to a home when she gets older cuz none of us want her!

MommyToAshley replied: So sorry you have to deal with this. I am sure it makes it hard to want to tell her anything. I would wait to tell her as well. I think one of the biggest lessons some of us have learned from our Moms is how we don't want to be towards our children!

coasterqueen replied:
You are so funny.

My mom is 48. She was 18 when she had me. Very young. That's what I always thought was her problem. She had me young..didn't really want to get married either did my father but they are still together 30 years later. She's never figured out parenting, IMO. She just never matured like parents do.

Tamatha replied: Dealing with negative people can be a real burden. An acquaintance of mine gave me the best tip when I was going through some trials with a friend who was stuck in negative mode. Her husband had similar issues, and she finally drew a line in the sand and told him that she wasn't going to speak to him again until he said 10 positive things. Once he did that, she continued her conversation with him. Every time he got too negative again, she made him stop and say 10 positive things before she would continue. I haven't tried this yet, but it stuck in my mind, and I hope that if I'm in a bad situation again, I will have the sense of mind to remember and use this trick! Maybe it will help you with your negative moms?!

Good luck!