Job offer - vent/whine

amynicole21 wrote: I had posted my resume on Monster after my last review I got a call from a recruiter that one of our competitors was looking for someone to do the EXACT same thing I do, but would pay me nearly DOUBLE what I make now They were REALLY excited to see my qualifications and want to set up a phone interview.

The problem is, the company is in Minnesota... yikes. While the prospect of living in the frozen tundra hasn't turned ME off completely, DH is really not on board. We would have to move quickly, and it's just too little time. Also, his family is here. We don't want to live in FL forever, but I guess he's not ready to break away just yet.

It really upset me last night when I asked him if he would move there and he flat out said "No." I guess I understand, but it made me feel like I didn't have much of a say in the matter, or that my opportunities weren't important enough I'm still pretty hurt about it

Oh well. Maybe there will be another opportunity for me... someday.

Maddie&EthansMom replied: Amy I can certainly understand your disappointment. It does seem like a great opportunity. I'm positive something else will come along. Just keep your resume out there.

Sorry he wasn't more supportive.

Jamison'smama replied: That stinks! Any chance you can work virtually? I would imagine the cost of living is less in Minnesota making your salary even higher. Goes to show you have very marketable skills and there are other offers coming. I hope you get a similar offer closer to home. Is there any place he would be willing to consider? Of course I think your opinion should be of equal weight.

coasterqueen replied: If you already haven't I think I'd talk to him in more depth on this. As to why he doesn't want to move...is it too fast? OR is it because he wants to stay in Florida a bit longer....OR is it because he always thought it would be him and his job for the reason of a move? KWIM? If you took this job would it mean a higher salary for you than him? Sometimes men don't like that.

I wouldn't rule out this job offer til he offers you more reasons why, kwim? I mean, financially could this be a HUGE plus for your family? If so he shouldn't discount it fast.

amynicole21 replied:
DH is a planner, and this is too spur of the moment for him. I think that if the offer was in North Carolina or Virginia though - some place closer to home, he wouldn't have been so quick to dismiss it.

I'll ask them about the possibility of working remotely, Brenda. Not a bad idea!

coasterqueen replied:
I can understand the planner in him, I'm the same way.

Jamison'smama replied: I also understand being a planner--If he had more time to think about this/plan would he consider it? If so, what if you worked remotely for just 6 months while planning move? Any company should understand that it takes time to sell a house and this is not the best time to put a house on the market. More and more companies are allowing for remote employees. My DH works for such a company and it save everyone money---fewer sick/personal days and more productivity--people tend to work much more if they can work from home.

kit_kats_mom replied: I think Brenda has some good points. It sounds like you have some leverage with your skills. I have tons of experience working remotely so if you want to chat about what exactly it entails, and maybe have a proposal ready to send to the recruiter that covers all of the points (who will provide office equipment, insurance etc) it would help. It's always better to propose something like that when you have a plan to back it up. It keeps the company from having to do all the leg work and they know you are really interested.

I just thought of something else too. I'd take that to my boss and tell him that you've had another offer and maybe he'd match it. Just tell him that a headhunter contacted you.

gr33n3y3z replied:

redchief replied: Sorry Nicole.... keep working that earning potential angle though; maybe you'll be able to get DH to change his mind, in time.

Bamamom replied:
I like it!!!! Try it - maybe it will work!

moped replied: That sounds like a great opportunity........can I ask what you do for work????

amynicole21 replied:
I'm a sporting goods buyer.

holley79 replied: Maybe something else will come up for you. I can't stand when DH doesn't even hesitate before the flat out no.

TheOaf66 replied: well MN is not the frozen tundra...only WI (where I live ) is the frozen tundra. I can understand where your DH is coming from but should not have given a flat out no. Hopefully you can find something else. At least you got a response from something on Monster, I never did when I went on there. Good luck in your search

DansMom replied: Minnesota rocks---Prince is from there, you know! It does get hot in the summer. Nice people. Sorry your DH is so resistant---it wouldn't hurt to let your current boss get wind of this, and interview anyway even if you don't intend to take it.

luvmykids replied: You got great ideas from everyone, I don't have anything to add just hugs and that if this doesn't work out it doesn't mean you're stuck forever. Try to keep your chin up

Kirstenmumof3 replied: I would weigh out the pros and cons of taking the job vs. not taking the job. Talk to your DH and ask him if the situation were reversed and it was an advancement for him, what would he expect from you? I don't think I agree with the flat out "NO" that really does not seem fair. I see one plus, you wouldn't have to worry about hurricanes or tornados and MN isn't that cold, actually Thunder Bay is about a 45min. drive to the border. And only 4 hours from Duluth. Think it over!