Jacob's appointments update.... - ADD & learning disabilities

kimberley wrote: well we just finished our third 90 minute appointment with the child psychologist or whatever she is and i have to say that i feel like i wasted my time and Jacob's. after the second appt i asked her if she had any ideas yet if there was something wrong and she said she had no idea. so how can she make the assessment she did today after seeing him for an hour????

she told me today that verbally, Jacob is very bright... beyond his level but when it comes to using his hands and eyes that it is dramatically lower. she said that this "imbalance" may lead to discovering learning disabilities later on but right now he is fine for a grade 2 level. she also said he is very intense... too intense. what the heck does that mean??? she said that he doesn't know how to relax... he is always talking or moving around. aren't most 7yo like that??? especially when somewhere new?? and is she talking about the same boy who would stay in his jamas alll day and quietly play or draw all weekend if i let him??

she said he needs routine and predictability. with a little baby in this house, that is all he gets or nothing would get done! i was actually worried i wasn't taking him out somewhere fun enough because the yard and the park get boring after a while. she said no TV or video games, which i somewhat agree with. he is only allowed to watch cartoons on saturday morning and only plays video games when he is with his dad because i don't approve of them. then she told me he can't play soccer anymore. my mouth hit the floor. why on earth would she take that away from him?? she said that he shouldn't play any contact or competitive sports because he is excitable enough and that will make it worse. there is no contact in little league sports!! the social worker who saw Jacob a few times implored me to get him into a league because he needed that peer interaction and acceptance and it built his self esteem. i told this to the Dr. and she said i didn't have to take her advice but it would be in his best interest if i did. she thinks he might get upset one day and hit someone with a bat or something. anyone who has ever met Jacob always comments on what a gentle, loving soul he is (all teachers too) and he would NEVER hurt anyone ever. he would cry first. i just don't agree with her. aren't kids allowed to be kids?? soccer is harmful??!! kids shouldn't be excited??

then she said that because the school year is almost at the end that the school and her didn't want to look into this further and that i should bring him back in August where she will assess him again and discuss meds if he is still the same. i am NOT going back! if he had any real problems, wouldn't they want to deal with it now, right away before things got worse?? and try different learning techniques before even bringing up meds? IMO, she is off HER rocker and i am going to tell the school the same thing. i am so sick of this.

Yes, Jacob can be a little scattered and unfocussed at times and he does LOVE to talk and play and he is a little behind in school but how is he worse than my friends' kids who have boys that are way worse than Jacob? if you only could see how dramatically he has improved in reading and writing since September. he volunteers to read to me and is so much more confident in his work now. i believe with a little more work in a nurturing environment that he will be right where he is supposed to be. some kids just "get it" slower than others.

i just talked to his teacher and she said while he is behind academically, he has shown great improvement and confidence. her only concern is for him to learn coping mechanisms for when things upset or overwhelm him at school because a few times this year he has had crying spells and won't talk to anyone. he is showing some improvement there but still needs work.

sorry this got so long. i just had to get that out. thanks for reading.

alice&arik replied: It doesn't sound like that lady knew what she was talking about! I wouldn't listen to her either!

A&A'smommy replied: I agree I think that woman is off her rocker! GRRR He sounds like perfectly normal little boy to me! for that mean lady!

Kaitlin'smom replied: geesh.....sounds like the lady just wanted to tell you a bunch of non-truths (tring to be nice there) sound like she is full of it, and if he did have a problem then it should be dealt with now not later......that is just dumb, and I am so sick of peopel wanted to jump to meds before tring other things...gurrr that just makes me mad. I just dont get why they want to dope kids up....oh wiate is that so they can take the easy way out gurrr soory I will stop now.

DansMom replied: Don't go back!! The schools are really overmedicating our kids---I would steer away from anyone who wants to go that route. Just my opinion, and I definitely don't want to offend or second-guess anyone who has gone that route who might read this. I just think if your instincts as a mom say NO, you are right to heed those instincts. I don't think this woman knows Jacob at all. She's going through some kind of checklist from some textbook.

Keep him in soccer, love him up, help him with his homework. I think you're already doing the right things and it's just a matter of continuing and nurturing his self-esteem along the way. In this case, Mom knows best---don't let a virtual stranger muck things up that are working and adding joy to his life. He sounds very sensitive---it's hard to be sensitive in this brutal world, but that doesn't mean it's wrong to be.

amynicole21 replied: Sounds like a load of phooey to me! I would certainly try to find a second opinion. Also, it would make more sense if someone would evaluate him on his turf, like in your home or at school. Somewhere where he would feel more at ease. I don't agree with him quitting soccer, either. What kind of alternative outlet is she suggesting for his 7yo energy?? She is an idiot.

kimberley replied:

it is just so frustrating because Jacob IS a sensitive kid and people have been wanting to "fix" him since he was a toddler (his dad and grandma). i don't think there is anything wrong with that and he is just too young right now to have grand expectations of emotionally maturity at 7yo!! so he had a couple of crying spells at school... what kid doesn't cry?! he rarely ever does it at home and has said to me he has a hard time talking to his teacher because he will make her mad. these people want a bunch of robots not kids.

i have no intention of pulling him out of soccer and plan to continue working with the social worker and the teacher. the principal can bite me if she thinks i am going to go back and have him medicated.

oh yeah, Dr. Nutbar also told me to stop moving schools since this is his third school. i pulled him out of his first one where he spent JK and SK because their idea of helping him was making him skip recess to get extra reading help. the school he is in now even disagrees with what they did! he was in an equally crappy school for gr 1 and half of grade 2 where his teacher yelled at him when he didn't understand his homework. she even sent angry notes home to me that i did not appreciate. they offered him NO extra help. then we moved quite a distance so I had to change him to this school. it is not like i am not looking out for my kid's best interest here.

kimberley replied:
haha she said he can ride his bike or go to the park or for a walk but should not be involved in anything competitive. (guess i should give his brother up for adoption because they are competitive over everything!) so if kids are playing tag at the park, i am so supposed to say he can't play?? ugh... that will just make him anti-social which Jacob is not. i will not lock my kid in the house all summer and teach him the art of tai chi or ceramics. he is 7yo not 65!

thanks for the support everyone.

kimberley replied:
LOL don't stop on my account, i totally agree with you!! i was afraid this was going to happen but the school wanted me to look into it so they wouldn't have to deal with it. i did, i was right, they are nuts, i'm not going back, end of story.

coasterqueen replied: I agree with everyone else! I would not go back. This lady is a freak! Medicating him and asking he quit soccer! UGH!

MomToMany replied: You're doing the right thing, kim! She's an idiot! Jacob sounds just like Quentin, a very sensitive child. I'm glad you will be staying away from her!

aspenblue1 replied: ITA with everyone else. If anything I would think sports would help center him. They are always promoting your children playing sports to keep them out of trouble.

CantWait replied: Shame on the B****attleaxe First off, if he's imporving I wouldn't worry about it too much. Second I use to have crying fits at school, I was and still am very emotional. So maybe Jacob is like that also. I can't believe she would suggest taking him out of organized sports. What's he suppose to do, stay curled up in a ball byhimself??? I'm so sorry things didn't go well today...I hope that you'll be able to find some other support. Do you know what you're going to do now?

MommyToAshley replied: ITA with what has already been said... there is no way I would go back either. Nor would I take him out of soccer, especially if he really enjoys it. I hope you do tell the school what a weirdo they have on staff!

maxivylee replied: Hi....I had to take my son to a child Psy for evaluation. We wanted to rule out bipolar for his mood swings, adhd for his hyperactivity and other things. What we found out is nothing EXCEPT he has a gifted/genius IQ 151 and emotionally underdeveloped. While I was glad they didn't determine anything, I was left with not having a solution. He's argumentative, cries easily, has a very disrespectful mouth when he speaks to me, won't follow rules...always a power play. The Psych didn't see any of this in his 20 minute meeting. I was so upset with him. It took him 3 days after the meeting to determine "nothing". I thought it was a waste of time and scared my son. I don't know what to think, but I am opposed to medicine unless it is a last resort and I get a second opinion. Medicine can actually change a child's brain makeup. It's reprograms things and makes me nervous. Without a 2nd opinion, I wouldn't risk med's.

Thanks for listening.