It's just stupid.....

MyLuvBugs wrote: DH was sitting here on the couch tonight and says "We need to sit down this weekend and discuss what we're going to do over the next two months." So, I say "What do you mean?" And of course he says, "Well, with money and jobs and stuff."

OK. I told him that I have NO problem going and finding a job. None whatsoever, and he flat out told me that he didn't think that was a good idea b/c I was PG and that we needed someone to watch Lorelei (b/c apparently he's lost the ability of eyesight to watch her himself) .

So, then I say "Are you actually going to go out into public and look for a job?" and he says "Well, what if I can't find one?" So me being the smart a$$ that I am say "So, basically you're saying that you don't want to find a temporary job that will pay the bills for a few months, instead you'd just like to sit here at home and look online for something and feel sorry for yourself b/c no one calls you back." Then I went on to remind him how he promised me that he'd go to a temp agency a MONTH ago, and he still hasn't done it. So, he snaps back "I have been looking for a job, and the temp agency (b/c apparently there is only one ) only had 3 jobs listed online."

He has only left this house ONE TIME to go and inquire about a job. Everything else he's applied for has been online. WTH? I'm so PO'd at him right now. He's totally being lazy, and scared and acting like he doesn't want to go out and find another job. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

What the heck happened to the man I married?

luvmykids replied: I'm sorry. Don't really have anything to help, maybe he's embarrassed to be in the position he's in? I know a lot of men get some degree of their "feel goods" by being the main provider. Does he have marketable skills? Is he afraid he's not qualified?

I'm so sorry, I know it must be rough to be worried about it and feel like he's not!

ETA: Did you flat out ask him why HE can't watch Lorelei? I think at this point I would tell him you're going to get a job, and it will just be temporary until he does and he can like it or lump it! You've gotta do what you've gotta do, right?

NEWMOM05 replied: Erika, That's so frustrating. He doesn't take any intiative to find a job, but won't let you find one instead. Men!!!! They can be so infuriating sometimes. I sure hope he changes his mind soon. One way or the other.

I don't want you to think I'm bad mouthing your hubby, because I'm sure that he is a great guy just a little insecure right now. I just nmeant I understand.

MyLuvBugs replied:
I don't really know what the heck his prob is. I think he just doesn't know how to look for a job the old fashioned way, and he might be a little scared to get a scummy job that just pays the bills. KWIM? And some of the stuff on his res is job specific, so it's not really marketable to a lot of different fields. Unlike me, who could be hired up in a second as an admin asst. or Cust Svc agent.

The biggest problem of me taking on another job, is I already have two part time jobs. Photographer and Marketing Exec. Not to mention Mommy/Housekeeper/Cook on top of both of those. Unfortunately, they don't pay enough to pay ALL the bills. KWIM? I am going to talk with him about it somemore, once I calm down a bit. Maybe get to the bottom of why HE can't watch the kid.

MyLuvBugs replied:
I don't really know what the heck his prob is. I think he just doesn't know how to look for a job the old fashioned way, and he might be a little scared to get a scummy job that just pays the bills. KWIM? And some of the stuff on his res is job specific, so it's not really marketable to a lot of different fields. Unlike me, who could be hired up in a second as an admin asst. or Cust Svc agent.

The biggest problem of me taking on another job, is I already have two part time jobs. Photographer and Marketing Exec. Not to mention Mommy/Housekeeper/Cook on top of both of those. Unfortunately, they don't pay enough to pay ALL the bills. KWIM? I am going to talk with him about it somemore, once I calm down a bit. Maybe get to the bottom of why HE can't watch the kid.

luvmykids replied: Yup, you've got a full plate and he needs to do what needs to be done to get by. He can keep looking in the mean time, if he found something now it doesn't have to be forever. Sorry again! I'd be mad too!

C&K*s Mommie replied: so sorry!

kit_kats_mom replied: Wow. He's probably a bit deperessed. I know my DH turned all wierd on me during the three months that he was unemployed. Men (and women too to some extent) really have their self worth wrapped up in what they do and how well they are keeping their family.

I don't know what I'd do though. Sorry

Crystalina replied: I know nowadays they make it really hard to walk into a place with a resume and find a good job. You have to go thrue all these temp places and then they only keep you long enough to get you through your probation time and then let you go because they don't want to give you all the benefits. My Little brother (23yrs) goes thrue this all the time. He'll have a really good job and then a few months into it he'll get laid off and one of his friends will get the position and the same thing happens to them.

Your DH is probably really stressed right now. But your both going to have to keep your chins up. If it comes down to it you'll have to tell HIM what's going to happen. He'll get over it eventually.

If my DH had a regular job we would be so broke. He is not one for answering to someone else or punching a time clock. He likes to make his own schedule. That can be a problem also because there are times when he takes WAY too much time off. He took all of December off and I could have killed him. I wanted him to just GO!

fashionmumofboys replied:

I hope your DH finds a job and everyone will be at peace.

Good luck.

amymom replied: Oh Gosh, Erika I so understand what you are going through. My DH has done this type of thing in our not too distant past. I hope he follows through more for you and your family. Please continue to take care of yourself and vent here anytime.

I pray that something goes through for you all soon.

MyLuvBugs replied:
I'm starting to feel that way too. I just want him out of my house for a few hours everyday, and then come home with some money. How hard is that? He's totally driving me NUTS here at home. He doesn't help with Laundry, Dishes, Cooking, Cleaning, and I have to Nag at him just to help me with the kid......He spends most of the day upstairs on the computer "working". And I realize that he's building this website for this guy and that once it's done he'll get $2500.00 for the finished site. But wouldn't it be nice if that money was coming in each day? I guess I'm just not used to him being around so much without spending time with us. If that makes any sense at all.

Thank you all so much for your thoughts, prayers, and job vibes. I pray everyday that God is listening.

luvmykids replied:
DH and I get what we call "too much together-itis". You have my sympathy! We don't even have to talk, just too much time in the same vicinity can trigger it. And it's worse when he's in his own little world ....