Is this so wrong?? - lying to doc...

Hillbilly Housewife wrote: I really really want twins, triplets... whatever - I really want multiples.

DH and I are considering lying a little to our doctor... well our doctor in another province. When we got pg with our second, he'd asked us if we wanted twins, or if we were hoping for ujst one... it scared ys - we thought he was telling us he was hearing 2 heartbeats, kwim?

Sine then, we'd been thinking of multiples. Our doctor told us he could put me on Clomid if we ever wanted to try for twins... when we unexpectedly got pg with Naomie, we were secretly hoping for multiples. Oh well...

we're not necessarily done having kids...we're just done for now.

So we're thinking that if we try for more kids, it won't be until april 2008.. just a date we picked. The doc DID say that he'd give us clomid if we wanted to try for twins... so would it be so bad if we told him we'd been trying for 6 months, when we try to go see him in april 08?

MomToMany replied: I would love to have multiples too. But I don't think I'd go so far as to take a fertility drug to get them. I'd hate messing with Mother Nature; if you're meant to have multiples, then you will get them naturally.

Kaitlin'smom replied: he offered and you want them but dont lie just said you both have been thinking about and would like to try for muitipuls with a bit of help.

mckayleesmom replied: Exactly...why lie if he offered them? Pretending to have fertility problems when you don't have them is kind of a slap in the face to those who do..IMO.

3_call_me_mama replied: I would love to have twins.. well I say that now.. but if it every happened i'd be nuts I'm sure. But I agree. No ned to lie, just mention it to him about his offer and if it works great. If not be blessed whith those you have:) I personally wouldn't take the fertility drug, but that's jsut me I have no issuse if others want to take them

redchief replied: 'nuff said before me. I agree with all said before.

A&A'smommy replied: well I don't think I would lie I would just ask him if his offer is still good!

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied:
ITA

CAMSMOM1 replied: ITA you don't have to lie since it has already been offered to you. I wouldn't mess with mother nature either, if it happens great, if not, thats ok too.

Have you really thought about this? There are a lot of risks/complications that are more likely to happen with mulitples. Preemie babies, low birth wieght, possible miscarriage, lots more to list. And alot of women have to go on bed rest, is this something that you can do, or would want to do. Plus, finincally it is hard. Buying for one baby is expensive, but 2,3,4 babies...and diapers! Formula! It all adds up. Plus you have other children to take care of and buy for. If you think you can afford it, you understand the risks, you are willing and able to go on bed rest if needed, and you think you can handle multiples and your other children, then go for it. I would suggest talking to other Moms with mulitples and get their insight. Maybe babysit a set of multiples while taking care of your other children, so it becomes a reality instead of a fantasy.

I just wanted to give you something to think about before you make a decision. But only you and your DH know what is best for your family. And if this is what you want to do, then I'm sure your doctor will support that.

Let us know what you decided to do. And 2008 is just around the corner!
Ann

jcc64 replied: Huh, that's an interesting propostion. Fertility drugs and multiple pg's are not without significant risks and side effects- I guess I don't see the prudence in taking powerful meds unless I really really needed them. I can certainly see why people who deal with genuine infertility issues are willing to endure the unpleasant side effects and risks, but I'm not sure why you'd want to put yourself through that just to experience the whole multiple thing. Well, you've got time to think it through, educate yourself, etc. Good luck with your decision.

Hillbilly Housewife replied:
They're in my background.... so it wouldn't be sooooo un-natural........ lol

Hillbilly Housewife replied: Yeah I guess it's a littlte selfish of me, eh? well a lot actually.

I don't really know what I'm thinking..... I'd love to have twins. I've always wanted twins. I guess I want them more to replace the ones I didn't have...rather than just tto hav them. Finances aren't really an issue for us....i'm just a little depressed....and i guess the thought of being able to *try for twins* cheered me up some...

I hadn't even thought about the side effects, in all honesty. I was too wrapped up on myself...thanks guys, for slapping me back to reality...

back to liiiiife...back to reality........

PrairieMom replied: This is a really interesting question. I guess, if you are interested in multiples and the option was already offered to you, then I would take the meds.

HOWEVER, I would be a little leary of a Dr. that would perscribe medication like that. Fertility drugs are meant for people that have fertility problems, and while I am not an expert on the subject, I am sure that they have side effects just like any other medication. I don't believe they should be perscribed "just becuase"

and just to get it out there, there is never a good reason to lie to your Dr. about your medical history. It can be a very dangerous thing to do.

sorry, I don't think I had the answer you wanted to hear!

PhiMuMommy replied: twins would be really cool.. but just think how many people who use fertility drugs get more than just twins... esp if they didnt' really have problems getting pg... you may get more than you hope for.... (think could you really hand 4-6 babies at once?) i would just let mother nature decide if twins are right for you....

Hillbilly Housewife replied:
If I was looking for a particular answer as opposed to all different opinions... i wouldn't have asked about it!!! lol

MyLuvBugs replied: You crack me up! I really need to move to canada. Why can't the Dr's here do that?!?!?
I am just like you. I have wanted a set of twins forever! And with Lorelei, we actually were having two girls, but at 6 weeks lost one. It's ok, we couldn't have afforded two at that time anyway, but now, that urge is more powerful. A little boy and a little girl. It's just be wonderful. And you can BET that if the dr EVER offered me drugs for a set of twins, I would take it in a heart beat.

I'm not sure if it's really lying though. I mean he did offer.

jem0622 replied: I see no harm in it, but let me tell you that it is no picnic when you are pregnant. There are so many complications that can arise (TTTS, bedrest (pretty standard now), NICU, the list goes on). I can tell you that my girls are an absolute joy, but from the time I found out I was pregnant with them until I delivered...I lived in constant fear.

Fortunately I was able to nurse them for a long time, so we saved a lot on formula expenses. The baby food bill hurts, but they are mostly on table food now. I got a lot of hand-me-down clothing, plus an aunt and grandma who love to spoil the only girls in the family...so that helps a ton. Buying diapers hasn't been too bad. Initially it was nuts, but my parents bought a lot of the newborn sizes we needed and wipes too. If we didn't have the financial help on it then it would have been a little tough.

If you've had singletons beforehand then it does prep you to a certain extent, but there are still crying babies/hungry babiesx2. We still treat them as a unit when it comes to feeding/changing/bathing/bed & naps. This makes things much easier. Not everyone does this (treating them as a unit) and they do suffer with the schedule/sleep deprivation.

Sorry for rambling. I do feel that we were blessed. My girls are our second set of spontaneously conceived twins. It was destiny for sure!

You have to have good doctors and an awesome NICU closeby. Absolute must.

Just wanted to share my two cents since I'm living it!

Jamison'smama replied: Having been on Clomid---triple dose since we tried for months on a single and double dose. I can tell you the side effects of the drug alone are AWFUL, hotflashes, emotional rollercoaster etc. We had one sweet baby girl on that massive dose (Thank God).

I had an Rx for Clomid to get pregnant with Jack but found out we were pregnant before I had to take it---hormones do change after the birth of a child.

~~*Missi*~~ replied: Clomid (serophene) isn't a sure thing to have twins.
I was on the highest dose of clomid(serophene) for a long time when i got pregnant with Sabrina. Only sabrina...

I got preggo again when she was 9m and miscarried no clomid no twins.
I again got pregnant and twins nO clomid.


So its not a guarantee...... It can increase the odds but not even 50% odds.

I was on 5pills a day for 5 days which is about 500mg a day for about 8-9m ttc with sabrina and the odds for having a multiple birth according to my feritlity specialist were still only 30%-40%

Do i think telling him a lie is wrong yeah kinda, if you want multiples lay it on the line for him. Tell him what you want and let him tell you the truths, myths etc...
And didn't i read before that you were pregnant with twins once. So your natural odds are better then a clomid odd....
If you have twins naturally once your are like 50% (or more) more likely to have another multiple pregnancy.
Just my opinion thou.
Missi

luvmykids replied: The only thing I would reiterate is what some of the other moms said about bedrest. It's no picnic especially if you have other kids to care for! Fortunately, I didn't, but looking back if I'd had other kids I really don't know what I would've done. And even without kids, bedrest sucks!!!! I think I'd have to agree with the others who said let it happen and you'll get whatever you're meant to have.

ilovemybaby replied: Are you crazy??!! LOL No, I'm just kidding seriously I can't imagine having twins or triplets or multiples if I already had three kids! But I know it can be done. PHEW I only want two kids! LOL
I was kind of hoping for twins when I was pregnant with Abby. I was hoping for a girl and a boy and then I would only have to be pregnant once and it would all be over and done with KWIM? LOL But it's ok. Twins are hard work! I can't imagine breastfeeding two babies.
We are hoping for a boy this time... but we'll be happy either way.

I heard that it is up to the males side of the family when it comes to twins. Is that true? I mean, if someone in Pauls family had twins then I could. It skips a generation though.
My grandmother did have twins though. Unfortunately they were stillborn.
So if it can happen if anyone in either of our families has had twins then I guess I could have twins...

PrairieMom replied:
Usually it is up to the womans side of the family. If the woman is a double ovulater and puts out 2 eggs then the sperm will fertilize what ever eggs are there. I don't know about idential twins tho.

ilovemybaby replied: Well, I hope we are not having twins this time! LOL We only want (and can afford) two kids! First time around would have been ok though.