Is this rude? - wedding registry

luvmykids wrote: Dh's best friend is getting married tomorrow. I asked the groom where they registered b/c he never gave us our invitation and he told me. I said cool, anywhere else? (Around here it's totally common to register at Target and also at a higher end furniture store). So he told me about the higher end store, and then when I asked anywhere else he said "Yes, but she doesn't want me to tell you, she said you guys can afford American Furniture and Target is only for the people who can't." WTH?!?!?!?!

Obviously he's not too bright, b/c he told me anyway, but is that so rude? I want to get her a $20 gift card for Target now.

CantWait replied: That's extremly RUDE I can't believe she would say such a thing. Further more I can't believe he would a) repeat it to you, and break her confidence in what she told him.

I would definetly get them the cheapest thing (the $20 gift card to TARGET would work REAL well) that you could find.

Why is it you're good enough to get her something expensive, but not invite to the wedding?????

PrairieMom replied: Thats awesome! How rude is that?! I wouldn't even waste $20. on them. Get them a spatula and tie a nice bow on it.

CantWait replied:

kit_kats_mom replied: Do you even have to ask? OMG Miss Manners would totally die! I might just not get them anything and see if she has the audacity to say something. Actually, I think you should get her "the newlyweds guide to ettiqutte". And maybe write a nice little note on the inside about how you thought they could use it.

My3LilMonkeys replied:
I love that idea!

luvmykids replied: LMBO!!! I think I'm going to do even less than the spatula, I think I'll just get them a card! Actually, I already have one in my generic box of cards for all occasions, so I won't even drop a dime. Sounds evil but that really ticked me off.

Maddie&EthansMom replied: I can't believe some people!!! HOW RUDE!!!! I think the card is a good idea.

~~*Missi*~~ replied: wow yes that was rude on her part. I mean its none of her business what you can or can't afford. I would buy her something from target that wasn't on the registry just to p her off and not include a gift reciept LOL


I know i am always told I am rude because I put on sabrina's registry (before birth) and bday invites no clothes needed ..... i get razzed about it all the time she just doesn't need them, i end up returning them becuase her closet and drawers are so packed
which i dont think is rude its informative.....

Hers was rude to say about your finances she doesn't know and shouldn't even speak about that

Edward's Mommy replied: If she thinks you can't afford anything, then I wouldn't work into my "low budget!" I don't understand people like that! I had a friend who invited me to her baby shower and I made a bear at Build-A-Bear and I got her a book and a box of flash cards for teaching her son sign language. And then she didn't give me anything when I invited her to my baby shower. Then when my son was born, all she could say was how I was raising him wrong because I wasn't doing it like her!


I wouldn't waste the money. I think a card is more than enough for a comment like that!

kayla's mama replied: OMG, how rude. The card is a good idea. I can't believe some people

Hillbilly Housewife replied: Then I would get her the absolute cheapest thing she registered for.

Miss Manners would have a fit... (from me, sayign this - I haven't even finished sending out all my thank you cards yet... 2 months left before the year is up!! )

Anyhoo - you're not even supposed to put, in the invitation, that you're registerd when you get married. THAT is rude. Generally speaking, if the B & G have already been living together, they generally speaking get a cash gift. Generally speaking, it "should" be about 50$ a person. That's how it's supposed to work around here, anyways.

But if you ask someone if they're registered - they can tell you, they're registered at A, B and C stores. It's not up to them to determine what amount YOU spend on their gift...and for him to actually tell you to your face that she didn't think you cold afford the higher end store - that's not her concern. If you would have wanted to spend 200$ - it would have been your perogative.

We were registerd at a couple stores for our wedding... we didn't tell ANYONE we were registered. A few people asked if we were - some people don't like giving $$ and that's fine too - and we got a whole bed set we'd registered for - calue of like 300$... we got a new blender - how cliché. huh? lol And we got a few more things we registered for. We also got a heck of a wad of cash along with it. Of course we had to use it to pay for the wedding... lol but still.

I wouldn't even bother getting them anything. Maybe some lotto tickets. Oh wait... if they win, you'd kick yourself... so I think a plain ole card would be PERFECT. I mean - what could they possible want more than your well wishes of happiness for the rest of their lives?

kimberley replied: totally rude! i would send the card blank lol.

MyLuvBugs replied: ok, so you don't get an invitation AND the groom tells you (basically) that you're poor and to just get them something from Target? Ummmm...Yah, that's a tad be rude IMO. I wouldn't do this, but it'd be funny to get them a $5.00 gift card, and then write in the card "sorry, this is all we could "afford"." lol Totally mean, sorry. Just had to get it out.

MyLuvBugs replied:


ITA!!!!

~~*Missi*~~ replied:
According to "etiquette" aren't you suppose to put the cards in the Shower (bridal) invitations???? Isn't that why they (business's)give them to you...

According to most etiquette that I read when I was planning my wedding, typically cash/cards are given at the ceremony.

I worked with a Wedding planner and my grandmother who is miss etiquette herself.ccPlus back in the day they had these little purses that brides had for the persession line where people placed the cards into. I got one as my "something old"

Isn't that why most weddings have those card boxes?
I can't comment on the living together we didn't until we were married momma didn't let that happen LOL


I am just floored that anyone would say that. I mean if you spend 100 200 or 5 dollars its not SUPPOSE to be about the gifts etc... Its about the commitment between the two of them. I hate people like that. Where the gifts out way the true meaning. ARGHHHHh lol

luvmykids replied:
For one, I wasn't invited to the shower but didn't expect to either. She's a PITA and we don't like each other a whole lot, which is probably the explanation behind the whole thing anyway. She's one of those beautiful girls who is also a b**** and says she doesn't have female friends b/c they're jealous. I'm like no, you have no friends b/c you're a witch!

She's super competitive with me, always asking where I got something, how much it was, then throwing in a comment about something she has that's better. DH always says how much she likes me and wants us to be good friends but that she's insecure and if I gave her more attention she'd get over it and quit. But I am incapable of butt kissing, especially when she's the one who makes it impossible to befriend her. After that comment, forget it. She wants us to spend a certain "minimum" by buying their gift at the high end store, she's gonna get "minimum" alright!

CAMSMOM1 replied:

You crack me up Monica! ITA, she sounds like a total witch! What kind of people are these, and why are they your friends???



I would be totally offended! Not only would I not want to give them a card, but not go to the wedding. How rude!

luvmykids replied:
Well the groom is DH's best friend, and I really love him too. It's just her. The groom is really cool, he's a surrogate uncle to the kids and he comes over every morning during the weeks they're working here in town and has breakfast and coffee with us. I'm actually kind of bummed he's getting married, I've loved having a surrogate brother.

ediep replied: Is this a really casual wedding? I really can't imagine someone not sending an invitation to a wedding to thir best friend..... thats crazy!! Here, in NY and NJ weddings are CRAZY, FORMAL, EXPENSIVE, affairs. Most guests give hundreds (plural) as a gift. Most cost at least $100 per guest just for the dinner at the hall. the invitaiions go out 8 weeks before.... bla bla.

anyway, my point is...no invitation, rude comment, I'd just give them a small amout in a gift card or a check.

mckayleesmom replied: Well...I personally wouldn't give her a gift at all, but since its dh's best friend...Why don't you buy HIM a gift card for a place that only sells tools or something.

luvmykids replied:
It's sort of casual, she's got a major dress, he's wearing a tux, but it's at a rodeo grounds and most of the invitations were handed out by hand. It's kind of last minute, KWIM? Along the lines of a shotgun wedding .....

~~*Missi*~~ replied: what is a PITA if you have to PM me that LOL> i can't figure it out.

I love the idea of getting him a GC to HOME DEPOT or LOWES. That will p' her off!! Put a comment in the card like "couldn't find anything cheap enough at target for you (whatever her name is) so I got you this card from the dollar store!!!!"

C&K*s Mommie replied: It almost sounded like she is saying they are poor, so they have to shop at Target-- and you are not so you shop here. it sounds rude to say those things about anybody coming to your wedding to celebrate with you on your day. No one has to go- she should be happy that those people that "cannot afford" the higher end stores, are even coming & will be bringing anything for her at all!

MamaJAM replied: WOW! That is really rude!!! It's YOUR choice where you buy a gift....if you bother to even buy one...both members of this couple seem a bit 'tactless' IMO.

Scootie replied: That is totally rude! What I would do is get something nice for the groom, and perhaps a nice broom for the witch to fly around on.

luvmykids replied:
I don't mean to sound shallow, but she only *thinks* she has better, KWIM? Because I don't play along and get into dollar amounts and brand names, she assumes she's one up on me, KWIM? She's very materialistic, and measures people by that, and seems determined to have bigger, better, etc. And I think anything we would have gotten them would've been secretly great, she just wouldn't let me know that, does that make sense?

luvmykids replied:
Pain In The A**