Is this just laziness? - Or lack of maturity?

luvmykids wrote: I've been noticing with Colt that he is not at all motivated to learn stuff in a "school" type setting. Don't get me wrong, he is very smart and knows a lot, but in a workbook he just scribbles and says he's done, etc.

We were working on one of their assignments and he could honestly just care less. I started to get frustrated and said "Forget it, if you aren't going to try then forget it." Which made him very happy! But I changed my mind and told him nevermind what I'd just said, that I know he can do it and we are not doing anything else until he gives me 100% effort. He wrote 3 M's and 3 F's and a whole row of C's that were perfect!

So what I want to know is, is he lazy in that sense? Or just not mature enough to sit still and pay attention and apply himself like that? Or what? Should I push it or is it supposed to be more laid back and no pressure at this age?

I don't want to make him hate it but I also want him to understand that saying "I can't" or "I don't feel like it" is not an option for school type stuff.

JP&KJMOM replied: Monica JP will do the same thing and he is 6. All year it was a fight to get him to work on his homework packet everyday. He would fight it and fight it until I said OK do a whole page and you can watch tv or play nintendo ds but if you want to sit there and play then you are going to sit there until you do the page. He would then do a whole page and sometimes 2 in like 5 minutes.
IMHO he is a boy and they really could care less about stuff like that. And like you said he might just not quiet be at the maturity level to be ready yet. Maybe set aside 30 minutes and say we are going to do this and when we are done we will **something fun*** and that way he has the incentive to finish.

BAC'sMom replied:
And Mr. "B" does the same thing @ 9 1/2! So I say he is just being a 4 year-old BOY!

luvmykids replied: Thanks Karen & Jimmie, that makes me feel better! Kylie, being the princess of perfection that she is, is trying soooo hard to write all the letters in caps and lowercase and then here he is scribbling, it drives her and I crazy. Especially that I know he can do it but just doesn't want to! But then I over analyze and start thinking that it means he's behind in some way ... I didn't even think about the fact that he's a boy!

BAC'sMom replied: My Boys and Ansley are as different as night and day!

lisar replied: I say its the age. Lexi is 5 and she does it to me. I know she can do it. Sometimes she will bring me her work book and ask me to give her pages to do and sometimes she wont do the ones I tell her to when she isnt in the mood.

boyohboyohboy replied: I was so glad to see this post! My son is 4 1/2 and is doing the same thing! I wanted to get him enrolled in kindergarden this yr. but due to the age cute off he isnt allowed. I find that when he has mastered a subject, he gets bored with it, and just wanders off on to his own thing. I am afraid if he already knows what it is that is being taught in the begining of kindergarden he is going to get into trouble.
I also find that if he isnt in the mood to do his writing, or learning, then he isnt doing it!
we started with the alphabet, caps and lower case, and have managed to get thru to "H" but its been hard to get him to sit still.
I worry about a class setting, and having him learn to be quiet and listen to the teacher....
I assume every mother goes thru this, but I so want him to do well. I want him to learn there and be happy., not get yelled at.

So its good to know that other kids dont always sit and do letters too!
My DH has a philoshy that kids should be taught diff due to gender, he feels that girls are able to sit and listen and do more stuff like writing, where boys are more physical and tend to need to have an outlet and then sit for shorter periods of time.

I just hope he makes it thru kindergarden!

MyLuvBugs replied: I don't have an older kid, so here's a total outsider point of view.

Maybe it's just not fun for him. Little kids like to learn things that are super fun. KWIM? so maybe you need to think of a way to make it more of a game to him than work. Does that make sense?

luvmykids replied: The other thing that I'm confused on is their reading teacher keeps saying "Nooooo pressure, it should be fun" but these are assignments that get checked in the next class, so I feel like they should be done. And I understand "No pressure" but also don't want him to think that it's ok to be lazy. So do I force it or not?

And he does like the results, he's so proud of the letters he recognizes and that he can spell and almost write his name, but it's almost like he wants to be able to do it but not have to work for it.

ITA though, it should be fun, and he's definitely different as far as how he likes to learn (so far). It's a huge reason I decided against homeschool for preschool/kindergarden, I don't know how to teach him.

Brias3 replied: His attention span and age have alot to do with it I'm sure, as does being a boy. Ryan is seldom, if ever, interested in his homework. I think he views it just as that- "work". And the thing is, I really can't find any ways to make it more fun for him. His work packets need to be done and that's that! I agree with you on the letting him know he can't cut corners with school stuff. If you let him slack now, its bound to become a worse issue as he ages and gets into more indepth work. I'm sure he'll eventually start to get into the groove of homework being a part of school life! Give it some time and good luck

mom21kid2dogs replied: Sounds like a pretty typical boy to me.
Here are a couple of resources you might be interested in. They are great at laying out child learning/brain development in understandable terms.
Your Child's Growing Mind: A Practical Guide To Brain Development and Learning from Birth to Adolescence by Jane M. Healy PhD This book is marvelous in outlining the intrinsic brain development differences between boys and girls. Love, love love this book!

Another I like alot and it's a fast, easy read is Cynthia Tobais' The Way They Learn . Great parent resource on identifying your child's learning style and setting up an enviornment to nurture it best.

I'd be very cautious about using a "lazy" tag at the moment (although I struggle with it myself ). Kids under 6 still learn best through play activities. A boy brain is not usually ready to absorb reading until at least 5.5, most boys not until 6.

luvmykids replied:
Thank you, I'll have to check those out!

I know I shouldn't think of him as "lazy", I just get frustrated that I know he can do it, and so does he, and just doesn't want to.

kit_kats_mom replied: I did the same thing as a kid with my math. I'd just put in random numbers (for some reason 5's and 3's were my particular faves) to get it done. I had a harder time with math than with reading and since I got such kudos on my reading skills, I figured, to heck with this math stuff.

I was probably just lazy

TheOaf66 replied: my son does the same thing but that is because he has the attention span of a lightbulb so his problem is focusing

Boo&BugsMom replied:
He might just be bored and wanting to do more than that. Maybe take it a step further for him. He also just may be more of a hands on kind of learner and book work may not trigger his motivation very well. Maybe have him draw letters in sand, coffee beans, flour, etc. instead of on paper. You can make letter bags...squish some paint into a ziplock bag, hand it on a window, and have him use it to practice making letters on it. Squish the bag to "erase" the letter. I also believe it's very important for kids to get use to writing the letters on paper, but if you combine it with other hands on stuff he may be more interested then.

redchief replied: I think he's being four.

Boo&BugsMom replied:
This is a great point. Every parent should know their child's learning style. Is he a visual learner, physical learner (hands on), or auditory learner? Find out which one he likes and learns from the best and it will help you out a lot.