Is it horrible of me...

mummy2girls wrote: to not move in with a guy unless we are married? I know its going great with Marcus and i feel that this may be it and i found my future mate. And i know its to early to say marriage or let alone moving in with each other because im not near ready to move in. But I dont want to move in with him unless we are married. Because jenna is so attached to Marcus altready. if i bring him in to move in and it doesnt work then it will be soooo hard on Jenna. Am i wrong? just wondering because if the subject ever comes up in teh future i dont want to seem like a meany! LOL

luvbug00 replied: Ok personaly I wouldn't move in until i was married. I have moved mya in and out of my home with brad. Not doing that again. too emotional for her.

PrairieMom replied: I would say wait for marrige, simply for the stability for Jenna, but I am kind of a traditionalist in that way. Of corse, there are good arguments for "shackin up" like cheaper bills and all that. I guess you just have to weigh the pros and cons. Jenna is already attatched to him anyway, so if you two seperate it is going to be hard on her no matter what.

moped replied: I think moving in is fine after you are 100% sure it wiill work out - I say it is too soon to decidet hat - maybe in 6-12 months you will know better.

Calimama replied: No, it's def. not horrible of you. I would do the same thing for the sake of Bella!

CantWait replied: I'll give you a simple answer based on experiences from when I was a child, and because you asked, YES!!!!! It's totally wrong. If you want me to explain more I will, I hope you're not upset at the answer I'm just giving you my honest opinion based on the question.

mummy2girls replied: ok marie why is horrible of me to wait till im married to move in with a guy when im looking at jennas best interest here?

I guess i shoudl of explained it more... Yes Jenna is close and if we did break up then yes it would be hard on her but she only sees him once a week not everyday. And i feel if i moved him in that she would get used to havign him there 24/7 and it would be hard on her to understand why he left. I know if we marry and then if it doesnt work then we are forced to seperate and then yes jenna will get hurt. and such. I just am looking at it at the presnt tense right now.

redchief replied: I wish I had an answer from a guy's perspective. But I've seen waiting go both ways, so I'm not going to be much help here Shelly. I think you have to go with our gut instinct and morals.

kimberley replied: i would move in with him before you got married if it was heading that way because you never really know someone til you live with them BUT i still think it's too soon for that this early in your relationship with Marcus. enjoy things as they are right now. take time to really get to know each other.

i am dealing first hand with a 3yo who cries herself to sleep every night because she misses her daddy and there is nothing i can do to change that. it is the worst thing i have ever experienced and i wouldn't wish it on anyone. he sees her once a week for a few hours and she spends the next two days in and out of tears. definitely thinking of Jenna first is a must!

TANNER'S MOM replied: Well I am found of shacking up. For me it really is something I would recommend even for my daughters. You never truly know someone until you have to pay bills together, put with each other and worry about a sick child. I mean anyone can be sweet and nice until the true hardship comes your way then it's time to get down to the business of supporting each other. But alot of those things don't happen unless you are living together. I know it's against all religious issue's but how I feel. Especially when a child is involved. I mean I can think of a lot of issue's I have had to deal with when it comes to the kids. I mean how will he deal with a child 24/7, how will you deal with him getting on to Jenna when the time comes etc. Issue's you need to work out before you say I do. I know Jenna will be attached but no more attached than if you married someone and it didn't work out. .except it will be alot easier for you to get out of if it doesn't work out.

Just my and a bit of my life experience too I guess.

luvmykids replied: Personally I say don't do it, for a lot of reasons. Mostly because although I agree 100% that you don't know someone until you live with them, I also feel like if you're going to commit and live like a family, you should have the committment of marriage behind it so that it isn't too easy to walk when things get rough. I also think it depends on how you feel about it in general and if you'd be ok with Jenna living with someone....if not, you'd best not do it either.

I also agree that your gut instinct once more time has passed will be a good indicator.

CantWait replied:
Ack, I just reread the thread and it's the complete opposite of what I thought it said

sparkys2boys replied: I don;t think that any of us can give you that answer.. I think that you will know what is right for this situation when it happens, follow your heart on it.