I'm the WORST mom ever!

Kirstenmumof3 wrote: I've been arguing with my 8 year old DD all morning! It's too much! I don't think I don't know how I am going to handle all 3 of them home with me this summer!

I had a set back recently with the PPD and BPD and I'm so depressed! I'm trying so hard to be "NORMAL" hoping that if I act happy maybe I will start to feel happy! This is just awful! My poor children! All I wanted was for them to play outside this morning! WHAT KIDS WOULDN'T! I really don't know what I am going to do!

MommyToAshley replied:

OH, GREAT BIG HUGS TO YOU!!! First of all, you are not a bad mommy! We all have our moments (even without PPD)!!! By the way, what is BPD?

I don't think it is good for you to keep it in and act happy. If the meds aren't working, is there some kind of support group for PPD in your area... maybe ask your Ped? Just a thought... if you talked to others suffering from the same thing then maybe you can get some of those feelings out? You can also come here and talk anytime you want... I just wish I could give you a great big Hug!!!

I hope you are feeling better soon!

jdkjd replied: "By the way, what is BPD?"


I think BPD is Bi-Polar Disorder...


Kristen-
Huge hugs!! All children are a challenge...just keep plugging away, each minute that you can keep them safe and healthy is a victory, even if they are being difficult!

We're all with you!

Julie (jem0622) replied: Lots of hugs. Let me tell you one thing that will save your sanity with the eldest....choose your battles. I do the same with my eldest DS and he is only 3.5 yrs old! We have a pool in our backyard. Thank goodness for that. $20 at Wal-Mart. Nathan loves it and it wears him out! Yay! I'm all for that!

If you aren't on meds then you may want to see your PCP for some. Don't ignore it.

On my absolute worst days (rare) I drink a beer and I am so much more relaxed. I do not drink regularly. I drink the beer just to chill out. And I usually don't need the whole thing either!

Julie

jcc64 replied: Hi Kristin,
I am somewhat familiar with your story from the pp board. I also suffered with ppd, but was able to get it under control with low doses of paxil. I also have older children, in addition to my little CJ (know you have one of those too). Sometimes, it's exhausting to deal with all the different stages of childhood simultaneously. Sometimes I find myself asking the older ones to be more "grown up" than I probably would have had there been no baby around. But your kids will always forgive you, providing you treat them with honesty and respect. It's ok to say "M om's a little worn out today, would you mind trying a little harder to keep yourselves busy, out of trouble, etc. " Then you can come back to them when you're feeling better and give them the attention they were looking for. If you find yourself doing this more often than you're comfortable with, however, then maybe it's time to revisit the dosage of your meds with your docs. We're always here, you're never alone. Keep reaching out.
Good luck and peace,
Jeanne

Schnoogly replied: I agree--pick your battles. You're not a bad mom, from what I have read in your posts, you have a handful! And the depression on top, you're doing very well! I know how it is hard to pretend you're fine on the outside, I did this a lot, in fact no one except DH could tell I was in trouble. I have no idea how I would have handled two older kids too.

Kaitlin'smom replied: Your not a bad mom, just having a bad day! But they are right pick your battles. if things are not getting better then I would see someone about the meds. Hope things lighten up for you.

BIG HUGS!!!

let us know how you are doing.

MomToMany replied: Lots of hugs for you!!! You ARE NOT a bad mommy! It's just one of those days! I know how hard it can be, I have 4 kids, and I just be sure to to tell the older ones that mommy's having a bad day and that I would appreciate them being quiet or going outside to play. Then they're pretty good (as can be expected!) for a little while. I be sure to do something fun with them when I feel better so they get the attention that they need. Some days are better than others, I'll admit, but just take it one day or even one hour at a time, and it will get better!

More for you!

ediep replied: YOU ARE NOT A BAD MOMMY!!!! Summer is hard for everyone, I know my sister always says that when both kids are home from school.

Kirstenmumof3 replied: Thank You Everyone! It's so hard for me to admit when things are down, because the downs seem to last for weeks! A friend called me and invited us over for the afternoon! It was so nice to be around another "ADULT", but at the same time I was still so depressed!

I am not on any medication and I'm not being given that option in my treatment! I have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and medication doesn't help this disorder! It's very frustrating! I see a psychologist weekly and basically that is for cognitive therapy! I've been told it's a very long road to recovery, but that I will get better!

I will get through this I just have to keep telling myself that! Thank You all so much for you support today!

CantWait replied: hugs to you. I know it can be hard to handle sometimes. Right now with my pregnancy going the way it is, all I wanna do is nap during the day. My ds goes outside to play with his friends, but they always wanna come in the house. Grrrrrrrrrrrrr. Today I wanted to send my ds to bed early so I could go, but just as he was putting his pj's on, his friends came to the door. How can you say no sometimes?
Maybe just trying explaining to them that you're not feeling well and you'd prefer if they play outside for a little bit so that you can get some rest. Hope things work out.

Julie (jem0622) replied: Continue to talk to us and other moms. Maybe find a busy activity to let out some of your angst. A Mommy & me class, or joining a local playgroup. Talk about anything and everything. I have had a history of anxiety attacks for the last 8 years (I think it is PTSD) and the two things that have helped me is being more vocal and talking through things...and working out/walking.

HUGS
Julie