I'm really bothered by something at the kids schoo - Long and ventish

luvmykids wrote: I've mentioned before that I don't like their teacher much, but I felt as I got to know her a little better she really wasn't that bad.

There is a little boy in the class, I'm not sure if he's developmentally challenged or has ADD or what. He's a little out of control, but I genuinely don't think he can help it, he is always all smiles and the kids used to say he was mean but now they like him and play with him.

Ok so today the teacher was telling me about a field trip and right in front of him she said "I refuse to take him, I won't be liable for a kid who acts like a thing." My jaw dropped. I was literally speechless and he heard every word. Complete with her rolling her eyes and "that" tone of voice.

So I asked another mom about it on the way out to the car and she said the teacher makes him sit in a little taped off corner of the room.....every day, every activity, he gets to participate but has to do it in his corner. She also said at lunch he has to sit by himself. She felt bad on Valentines Day and sat with him and the lunch aide told her to move because he's not allowed to sit with anyone. I mean come on, a kid might cause problems for other kids at the table but a grown up can manage to eat her lunch anyway, kwim?

I am so very bothered by this. It just doesn't seem like the right way to handle a kid much less a Kindergartner. I've seen him in action first hand and although I'm not there every minute I can't imagine any good reasons. I mean, if he's got severe problems why can't they have a special ed aide in the class, or move him to special ed overall? I don't know, I just feel like it's so wrong, and when I've dealt with him if you look him in the eye and are firm and just use few words, he's very responsive.

He's not my kid, so I don't feel I have any room to say anything at the school, but I think it's wrong, wrong, wrong. Anyone have input to help me see a good reason behind this?

eta: The other mom I was talking to volunteers in the class three days a week, so she has seen first hand more than I have, and she said he takes effort, like you have to tell him things a few times or he talks when they're supposed to be quiet, etc but that she's never seen anything that warranted this. She's asked the teacher about it a few times, and she says "Oh I'm just not in the mood to deal with him" or "I'm burnt out, I shouldn't even be teaching anymore" (She's only been teaching five years)

amynicole21 replied: Oh, that is so disheartening. It truly makes me sad. I know I have no patience to teach, but I knew better than to become a teacher! I don't know what you can do to help though.

Boo&BugsMom replied:
Ok, I have had my fair share of REALLY bad kids before, but NEVER would I even think to treat a child that badly...esp. at that age where they know everything you say and what you mean. Their hearts are so fragile. I once had a little 2 year old that drove me bonkers and she got A LOT of time outs, BUT she was never made to do her things in a corner of the room alone and all that. WOW! That makes no sense and how does that teach him anything? His little self-esteem will be shattered.

She is going about it all wrong, although I am not there and do not know the child I know it is easier said than done...however...if that is how she acts in front of him and how she handles the situations, that certainly doesn't benefit his issues at all and can certainly make his behavior worsen. How does she HELP him???

Personally, I would talk to the principal. I am sure there is more to the situation...perhaps mom and dad do not work with him or they are impossible parents...but like I said, that gives her no excuse to treat him that way. I'd bet with a little more tolerance and love and affection, he'd be at least somewhat better.

It's these kind of teachers that need to find a different field of work. I think too many kids get labeled because some teachers just don't want to 'deal with the kids' instead of actually doing their job.

lovemy2 replied: I am not sure I could keep my mouth shut about something like that - not only for that child's sake but for the rest of the kids in the class - that is not teaching them anything and IMO it would scare the heck out of me if I was one of the other kids......I would have to talk to the principal about it -

gr33n3y3z replied: How can anyone get away with treating that little boy that way?
I wouldnt be able to keep my mouth shut I would have to report what I seen and what the teacher has said so sad

Sam & Abby's Mom replied: That's heartbreaking

mckayleesmom replied: I can't imagine what she would have done with Mckaylee....


Mckaylee is doing alot better now though and she actually does good in a group setting.


That is really sad....I wonder if his parents are aware of this.

A&A'smommy replied: oh no that poor child!!!!

Calimama replied:
Same here. No way would I keep my mouth shut.

mom21kid2dogs replied: That breaks my heart on many levels including the one that says "Where are his parents?"

lesliesmom replied: I would not keep my mouth shut about this. I would talk to the principal about this or even the parents of the little boy. Do they even know this is going on? It just doesn't seem right. That poor little boy. Yes, he can learn from a corner of the room but isn't a big part of Kindergarten social interaction? How is learning any social benefits from being secluded ALL day.

My2Beauties replied: This is not right on so many different levels, to the boy, the parents of the little boy, and the other students. They need to learn how to interact with him and socialize with him and vice versa. I think I'd be making an appt to talk with the principal and mention that he might want to call this little boy's parents. So sad

sparkys2boys replied: OMG I can't imagine she does that. Wow, I would be so upset to. Does the mother seem bothred by this?

My3LilMonkeys replied:
ITA. IMO that is discrimination.

Brias3 replied: I'm gonna lean towards the opinion of some of the others here. I know its not your child, and that it might be a bit ackward, but I'd perhaps try and tactfully and respectfully find a way to address this issue to the principal. Your children being in the class alone (even if they aren't the ones being treated this way) is cause enough in my mind to raise up a concern. You're right to feel the way you do and you have the right to speak up. After all, a teacher with the mindset to think that sort of treatment is ok is probably also open to "cutting corners" with other behaviors and policies that shouldn't be compromised on.

I know you must feel caught between a rock and a hard place though.....keep us posted and hope this situation turns up!

Cece00 replied: I dont think I could keep quiet about it either. Someone needs to report that teacher. That little boy also probably needs to be seen so maybe he can get some help. But that teacher needs a good talking to, or really, to be removed from teaching, because people like that should NOT be teaching children.

MommyToAshley replied: Oh gosh, that just breaks my heart. I'm really concerned for that little boy because while he may have behavior issues now, he is really going to have behavior issues if he believes the words of his teacher (and we all know they do at this age).

I'd be concerned about the other kids in the class too. What is it teaching them, except how to bully and outcast someone.

I'm with the others, you should speak to the principal.

Ashley had a little boy in her class that was disruptive. Then he started to hit so the teacher moved his desk up next to hers and away from the other students. So, it makes me wonder if the boy that you speak of has ever been violent. If this is the case, I can see how the teacher might move his desk away from the other kids, but I still can't believe she completely isolates him from the other students and uses those kinds of comments. In the situation in Ashley's class, they've brought in extra help, and a psychologist has helped to devise a behavioral modification plan. He was still included in the other activities with all the kids, but she just uses a different approach with him. To me, that seems like a plan to help him... not isolate him and tear him down. His behavior has improved but he still gets into trouble sometimes. However, I think the teacher does a great job of managing the situation and he is coming around and the rest of the class isn't affected by his behavior. Anyways, my point is that there is a way to manage behavior without tearing a kid down. I wouldn't have the patience to be a teacher, but then I am NOT a teacher. This woman needs to find a new profession.

danahas4monkeys replied: I would say something as a parent of a child who has ADHD they can be a handful at times but that isnt the way to handle it. I know our school system here sucks and I know my son has been treated that way in the past and sometimes currently. My son is labeled a trouble maker or disruptive and there was a teacher last year who told my older daughter she too was "done dealing with him" I was and went and set her straight! Sometimes we parents depend on the eyes and ears of other parents his parents at the very least would probably greatly appreciate this being brought to their attention. I know my son doesn't tell me if the teachers are mean to him or anything his sister does lol! And it isnt fair to your kids either I am sure him being singled out draws there attention to him and whats going on and they can't concentrate on their studies!

luvmykids replied: I did some asking around today, with other moms I know. The principal is aware of this, the school counselor is too. They've told everyone who has mentioned it that it's not their child, they're not the teacher, and to mind their own business basically.

My friend who is actually in their classroom a few times a week said his mom seems a little slow, she doesn't know for sure if she has any true disabilities or is just kinda detached, but she said his grandma is the one for the most part dealing with the school. Apparantly him, his grandma, the teacher and the counselor meet regularly. His dad isn't around, his mom works two jobs and they live behind her parents. I've seen his mom but never talked to her but everyone else who has said it seems like she just thinks the school is trying to do whats best for him and she is convinced that he must just be awful at school

I'm still as upset as I was this morning. I want to know if anyone knows she actually TAPED OFF a corner that he has to sit in all day or if all they know is what she says about him, kwim? I guess she has a binder that she keeps for him and makes notes of all his "incidents" in to pass on to his next teacher.

I asked my kids a few questions, I thought by some chance maybe it had been exaggerated but they said he even sits there to eat snack, and that he's nice now and doesn't hit or push but the teacher won't let him come out of the square.

I guess I'll start with the principal, and if I get the same brush off that everyone else has I'll go to the super intendant? I almost want to call child services, the more I hear, the more abusive it sounds to me.

Jennie, you hit the nail on the head by asking why they aren't trying to HELP him....from my observances of this little boy he IS NOT "that bad"...yes, in the beginning of the year all the twins talked about was him pushing someone or taking something away, etc but it really to me sounded like he just didn't have social skills. Now they like him and say he's quiet during lessons, etc. I haven't been in the classroom for a whole day but when I've been there he doesn't seem at all bad intentioned, just misdirected if that makes sense. He looks genuinely suprised when he's in trouble, like he didn't know he did something wrong. It's so sad, I've had a knot in my stomach all day about him

redchief replied: One thing comes to mind when a teacher bad-mouths a kid to others that way. What does she say about my kids when I'm not present? I'm famous for invading principal's offices so that I would say something is without question.

boyohboyohboy replied: I am just sitting here with my mouth hanging open reading these posts. how in the world does a school get away with something like this?
I for sure would go to the principle first, and then if he blows you off, then i would call child services, if the mom is slow and the gramma might be at a loss of how to fight the school, then someone needs to stick up for this child. how is he ever going to get any better if no one helps him. and maybe this isnt the school for him, but he cant be put on public display in his taped off area for all the other kids to see. and for sure it is teaching them a horrible thing.
i just cant imagine!
my heart just breaks for this little boy.
i would be so interested in hearing more about him.

mommy~to~a~bunch replied: That is just awful! I can't see how anyone could do that to a child. That teacher does not deserve her job. I would contact the principal, the parents, you name it. Who knows what else she does to other students?

Another reason why I choose to homeschool.

gr33n3y3z replied:
Then go to the school board

mommy~to~a~bunch replied:
Yes, I agree! That child needs someone to help him .

MommyToAshley replied: Monica, I just wanted to add that I admire you for taking on this challenge, which is a big one. I think all of us would do it in a heartbeat for our own child, but I know a lot of people that just "mind their own business" when it comes to another person's child. I'm glad this child has at least one advocate on his side, I'm proud of you.

luvmykids replied: I talked to the counselor at the school for a minute this morning, she was very nice and said she understands peoples concern over the way he's being handled and that she is involved to help both the teacher and his family "get on the same page"....I said "But do you know he sits in a TAPED OFF CORNER of the room? Do you know that the teachers aide does nothing but sit with him to make sure he doesn't come out of his square?" She said that I am not aware of all his "issues" and that they ARE trying to "help" him....I asked if he truly has "issues" why they don't have a special ed aide in the class, or transfer him to special ed and she told me it's being considered

I felt pretty brushed off, the principal "isn't available" because they're getting ready for state tests so I told the secretary they'll just get a copy of the letter I write to the board. TBH I'm kind of scared, I'm totally not good at confrontations and there is a part of me that is worried about the fall out for my kids if I push it But I also feel like now that I've opened my mouth I have to do it or let it go entirely and as much as I would really love to wimp out I just feel like this is SO horrendous and it makes me ashamed of the school

amynicole21 replied: Good for you. As everyone has said before, if they can be so negligent with one child, who knows how your kids will be treated?

mommy~to~a~bunch replied:
Wow, I hope you write that letter! Are the parents aware that he's in a taped off corner? You'd think they would be, unless they are just hoping the school can deal with him somehow . So sad.

Kaitlin'smom replied: OMG that is so sad, not only for the child they are doing it to but what message does this send to the rest of the class? If he really has that many issues they need to either have someone in there to help him participate WITH the class or move him to a special class, while that (the latter) IMO is not the best answer its better than the way they are currently treating him. Good for you for saying something. DO your kids understand whats going on? what do they think about it? I would really be concerned for the child and the entire class.

mckayleesmom replied: Have you contacted the childs parents yet Monica?....I really think you need to make them aware of what is going on so they can make a complaint about it too. They are probably aware of some things, but certainly not to this extent.

luvmykids replied:
The sad thing is, I think the kids in the class think it's kind of normal I ask my kids about him periodically b/c of how mean they said he was at the beginning of the year and they've never said anything about him being in the corner. But when I asked them yesterday (casually, as in "So how is Kevin in class now? Does he listen better now that he's gotten the hang of things?") they say "Yes, he just sits quietly in the box." I thought "THE BOX"???!!! WTH, the whole class has a name for it now? So I asked them if he's doing better, why does he have to stay in the box and Kylie said "So he doesn't ruin it for the rest of us."

I've also asked them from time to time how they like the teacher, they aren't super enthusiastic but they say "Fine" and when I've asked if she's mean they say no. I'm glad she's not as mean to the entire class as she is to him but at the same time, it's very sad that they don't see the way she treats him as "mean".

I'm going to work on my letter tonight, I'll post it b/c I'd like input...I want it to be taken seriously and don't want to come off like a nosy parent.

And Brianne, his grandmother does know he sits in the corner. I've never seen her and have seen but not talked to the mom, but other moms that have talked to her said they both just figure the school knows best.

kimberley replied: that is awful! my heart breaks for that little boy! u should be proud to be his voice. i know going up against the school board is daunting but what will happen if you don't is even more scary. make copies of what you write and cc the school. they are famous for "losing" things. the box, the teacher comments.... it's disgusting. he's just a little boy!

bawoodsmall replied:
Oh my Land o Lakes. If that ever happens to my children I will totally flip. That is not the way you treat a child. And she is a teacher...what an awesome example she is setting. I cant wait to see that letter Monica. Does he live with his grandma and not his parents??

mommy~to~a~bunch replied:
OMG, that is just SO wrong on many levels! Thank goodness you are standing up for this poor child . Sounds like the family needs help at home too.

Celestrina replied: Do you think that any of the other parents that are aware of this would be willing to support and sign your letter?