I'm at a loss

CantWait wrote: I really tried to be positive when we got our posting here. The first time I hated it, but I kept telling myself that I was going to give it a fair chance this time as we were going to be here a lot longer. I've come to the officially conclusion that this place really SUCKS.

Well after 6 months, I've not made any real connections as far as friendships.

The minimum wage is a joke, and there's such a lack of good jobs here for a decent wage. I called the hospital today to check the status of my resume, and they don't know where it is. There's no actual HR department because it's really small, so they said that it may have been forwarded to the hospital in the nearby city, I called there and the HR lady is holidays for 2 weeks. So basically I can call back in about 3 weeks to see if they even got it, otherwise my resume is in limbo land. I applied for one other job yesterday, but it's for inbound customer service rep, in the next city, and will probably only pay $9 an hour. So if I do find something for the next year and a half until Anthony goes to school, if I do find something, I'll be bringing in next to nothing.

I thought about starting up a small photography business and taking family pics, but the thought of it scares the heck outta me.

To make things worse, things with Ron and I are fizzled. I don't have a clue of what to do.

If ya read this, thanks, I just really needed to vent and cry somewhere.

cameragirl21 replied: oh, Marie, i'm sorry you feel so bad.
i can't give you any advice with your dh because i don't know much about your story with him but as for making friends, maybe start a moms' group. do you have a Craig's List in your area? if so, post a listing under groups wanting to start a moms' group, i see women doing that in Miami all the time. having kids in a way makes it easier to socialize because you automatically have something in common with other moms. you're very well liked here on PC and i'm sure you would be in a moms' group IRL.
as for work, well, that's why i opted to go into business for myself. i can control my hours and don't have to report to a-holes who don't pay me what i'm worth. it's very hard financially at first but if you are interested in photography then go for it, other than buying your camera equipment it's not a very expensive biz to start BUT you do seem kind of shy to me and in this biz you cannot be shy. but if it's what you want then you should do it and if you start a moms' group there you have your first set of clients. offer a portrait package to them really cheap, you'll build up your portfolio and then place some ads in your city or visit churches and ask if you can advertise in their newsletters (this sort of advertising is rather cheap compared to the newspaper). or perhaps start a dayhome, that sounds like an interesting albeit challenging business but from what i've noticed just by reading here, it sounds like in Canada it's not difficult to start and then get clients. this way you can be home with your kids everyday.
this sounds lame and corny but try to find the positive in every situation...i can tell you that when i saw that pic you posted of that snowy street and the pic of your adorable little guy i felt like you are lucky. start with a positive thought and see where it takes you....

CantWait replied:
Thanks Jennifer. All great advice and I've tried most of ti. Dayhomes aren't my thing, I wish they were but I'm not much for taking care of other kids.
I'm part of a couple other groups, but it seems as if people are really either one way or the other, cliquey, you know. I'm not that way, I like different sorts of people, they don't all have to be just like me.

I have been thinking of taking family protraits for people and you gave me some great advice in terms of advertising and and the starting out. Thank you.

sparkys2boys replied: Oh Marie . I'm sorry that your having a diffucult time at your new posting there. I think that if your doing all that you can to make friends that it will happen in good time. You go to a gym right? Have you made friends there? Like Jennifer said you do seem like you may be shy at times.. so stay postive and friends will come along. On the job situation, I am going to be noisey.. do you need to work, or do you just want to get out of the house? I know that the wages here are the same.. the pits. It's almost cheaper for me to be at home then it is to work. As for the hospital situation at least you called and have a name now to try and talk to when she gets back from holidays, it's a start right!!! Doing the photography sounds like something that you are really into also, is there anybody or place like that around you that does it or would it be in demand?? If it is where your heart is.. then go for it.. all a person can do is try!!! My DH and I have been through our own struggles and chose to work through them, I am not sure what your situation is either but what about marriage counselling? Is that an option? Try to really work through things before doing anything drastic, and make each decision after much much thought. Hey girl, I am only a few hours away.. you ever need a friend I am here!!! Maybe we could get together sometime and have a laugh or two!!! I hope things all settle down for you and you feel better.

cameragirl21 replied:
good luck with it, Marie, follow your heart and you'll do great! feel free to speak up if you have any more questions about the biz, ok?

kimberley replied:
sorry hon. you moved to a tough part of the coutry for work. i do hope things start looking up soon. given any more thought to joining a class of some sort? maybe photography?

Calimama replied: What about your neighbors? When mine first moved in I made them some cookies, that was a great ice breaker. I'm sorry you got such a crappy base, when does your DH get new orders? It's hard making friends in the military, as soon as you get used to a place.. you move. I hope things start getting a little better for you hun!

kit_kats_mom replied: Man Marie, that sounds tough. I can relate to not knowing many people but at least there is a ton of stuff for us to do here other than socalize KWIM? I'm going to take my typical approach so bear with me. It appears that there are a couple of things bothering you. Relationship with DH and your personal happiness (outside work, friendships etc) . I'd try to find some quiet time to figure out what is bothing you specifically and then what steps you could take to begin to make changes. Even just the smallest steps help make you feel better. I'd probably be wallowing in a fit of depression if it were me.

holley79 replied: Oh Marie. I'm so sorry. If I were there we would hang out and paint the town over and over again.

ZandersMama replied: Sorry things are so hard right now Marie, I hope they get better soon.

moped replied: Marie, I do know how you feel. I have moved a lot in my time, and hte Manitobe to Alberta really was hard because I left all my family and freinds. I always think it takes 2 years....I know that seem like a lot but that is what I have found to be the adjustment.

There are two ways you can look at it:

1. You can make hte best of it and try to find a job and try to make friends and try to see the good in where you are

2. you can be unhappy and leave I suppose.

As far as you and Ron....does he like it there? Is he happy??? Does he understand that this move has been hard on you? So many times when I miss my family Tom doesn't understand because he has always had them close by - he has no clue what it feels like......and I am no Dr.Phil with relationship advice.

CantWait replied:

2 years is about what it takes usually for me also.

mckayleesmom replied: I sooooo know how you feel.....I think its partly a military wife thing.....We don't really get a say in where we go and small towns are the worst unless you went to school there and know people.....

We just found out we are moving to another small town in April or so.....so I will be right there with you soon. Here in Pensacola I at least had Nicole and Holley on occassion....

A&A'smommy replied: I'm sorry Honey maybe f there is a photography place close to you, you could apply there?? Some places like Olan Mills will pay you to train

luvmykids replied:
I'm not a military wife but I sympathize greatly....I've moved four times in five years and never to a place I'd choose to live. DH is a whiz at finding a small town about to boom, we'd go build everything and get out and on to the next one, so as soon as I felt a little settled and comfortable, we'd be on our way out. I think it's that much harder when you add to the mix a marriage that some days is just barely "decent".

I don't have any advice, just know I really do feel for you, it stinks.

JadensMama05 replied: I'm not a military wife but I've moved a lot in the past few years and I'm in the same boat. I know no one. I work with my mom and she's very judgemental and if I were to befriend anyone we work with that she doesn't fully approve of, I'll never hear the end of it. Other than work, I just hang out with Garred and Jaden. On days that Garred works, I clean or sleep, depending on how Jaden is and if my mom will watch him for an hour or so. My depression is setting back in now because of not knowing anyone and I can't go see a doctor til our insurance is thru.. which we've been getting toyed with for almost a month now about... Lately at one or more points in the day, I just want to completely break down.. And I usually do. And I know it's because I don't have any friends and don't get out to do things ever..
I hope something looks up for you. The girls have given some good advice. I should probably follow it myself


Edited because I tend to leave out words... LOL

gr33n3y3z replied:

boyohboyohboy replied: Marie, I dont have much advice but wanted to send some and support.
I am not sure what kind of job you are looking for in the hospital, but nurses aides usually make pretty good money, very hard work, but even in a place that isnt paying much, it should be at least $13 or more and hour. And they usually always have openings.
How about some volunteer work, libraries, or something that would get you around some new people? since you dont have to work.

How about a mini vacation for you and Ron now, if thats possible, to try and talk and rekindle a little bit, is it possible he feels bad that you are not connecting, and he might not be connecting either?

good luck marie.

CantWait replied:
Thank you.

I'm just looking for administrative or transcription work. I have no experience hospital wise for anything else. Even the aides here only make $9, it's a farce.
You're definetly right about the volunteering, I'm looking into that after I've given up the job hunt.

Ron is clueless again as usual, he doesn't see a problem with anything. Mini vacations are out as we're to far from family, and he's never interested in going anywhere, he just doesn't see the point.