I'm a bridesmaid in my best friends wedding - And I don't want to wear the dress!!!!
CAMSMOM1 wrote: My best friend is getting married this May. And of course, she asked me to be a bride's maid. All the girls that are also bridesmaids are skinny. So here I am, FAT, and I just don't want to wear the dress. She said she found the dresses she wants us to wear, I haven't seen it yet, but I'm sure I"m not going to like how I look in it.
I want to support my best friend. After all, we've been friends since we were in diapers! I feel very selfish for feeling this way. But everyone we know is going to her wedding, and I'm going to be right in front, and not feeling good about myself. Even if I go on a diet today, I still won't lose as much weight as I'd like to by May.
I've been putting off getting fitted for my dress. I'm not even sure if they make my size...how embarrassing would that be!  I wear a size 18.
I just don't want to be in her wedding pictures, that are FOREVER...being overweight. I guess it's to late now to do anything about it. Of course she is a size 3, and she looks like a model. She won't understand how I'm feeling about this.
I guess this has turned into a vent. It's been on the back of my mind, and I guess I should just get over my insecurities, and suck it up for her. After all, it's her day.
Ann
C&K*s Mommie replied: Confidence.....is what you need to wear above all else.  No matter the size you are, no matter the nit-pickiness that you may do about everything about yourself, as long as you put on the air of confidence you will stand out heads and shoulders above the rest!!! ((except the bride....you know.... noone can be more beautiful than her!!))~~but you KWIM??
You will look gorgeous, (wanna see pix) Ann.  So flash those pearly whites, and get in that dress, & no procrastinating! You will be happy in the end that you were able to take part in her special day.
Best wishes!! 
PhiMuMommy replied: when i was in my cousins wedding her bridesmaids ranged from siz 0 (me at that time) to size 22... it was "interesting" trying to find a dress that matched all of our random sizes.. (and no i don't think she suceeded..lol. i thought they were hideous.. it ended up being two pieces and the top fell off me and kris fell out of hers...) so i understand the concern.. but she WANTS you there and i'm sure that she has taken dress size into consideration..
and if it makes you feel any better no one cares about the maid of honor anyways.. it's all about the bride..lol. 
My3LilMonkeys replied: Well I can certainly understand your concerns, I know firsthand what a difficult situation that can be! Just try to remember that she wants you there because she loves you and you are important in her life. I have seen your siggy pic - you are a beautiful woman no matter what size you wear! I say get your hair done nice, put on some makeup and smile! You will look beautiful and confident as long as you think you are!
kit_kats_mom replied: I've been there. Just go. She loves you and wants you there. You'd regret not going. KWIM?
Here's a pic of me with my BF (size 2 bride) and other BF (size 1 bridesmaid) and me (3 mos post partum size 20)  I was uncomfortable at the sizing but at the actual wedding, no one was looking at me anyway. I had a blast.
booey2 replied: Hugs, I have been there too and was leary of the dresses. Luckily I was the maid of honour and we were having the dresses made so mine could look a little different. I am sure she has taken into account you size when she picked the dresses if she didn't she may just need some gentle reminding. As mentioned in the previous posts confidence can go a long way. And everyone will mostly be paying attention the stars of stars of the day (bride & groom). Hang in there all be fine. We will be here rooting for you. 
Kaitlin'smom replied: Oh hon I know how you feel My sister got married when kait was 16 months old and I had not lost all the weight, I did not care for the dress, a know I probably did not look all that great in it but after getting used to my hair being up like that (it was a horrible inital shock, at first look I HATED it but once I got uded to it I loved it) but once I entered the room I felt BEAUTIFUL and CONFIDENT that my sister was happy and I was there as her Matron Of Honor to celebrate her marriage. We had a range of sizes from 6 to 18 I was in the middle, so yes it was hard to find something that woudl look ok on all of us and to tell you the truth I did not think it looked that good on the skinny girl either. Just go and have fun.
Here is a pic
Our Lil' Family replied: Um....are you me? I'm going this weekend to Dallas to get fitted for my best friend's wedding in August and I feel the SAME way! She is a size 4 and her sister is smaller. The other two in the wedding are a little smaller than me but way more confident wearing the strapless dress she has picked out....I am not so sure about it. Since I'm the matron of honor she told me I could wear whatever I want as long as it's the same color but I'm not sure if it'll look good that way. Guess we'll see Saturday when we all try on the dresses.
Tell you what......let's be each others accountability partner.....we WILL lose weight before the wedding, so much so in fact that they will have to REALLY alter those dresses to fit us! How does that sound?
ETA the pic of the dress
MamaJAM replied: I was a bridesmaid once - for my brother (will NEVER dot that again for anyone).
Anyway - SIL said she picked a dress she felt would look good on everyone (we were quite a range of sizes)....personally - I thought the dress was hideous for anyone. Then the shop messed up and the shoulders weren't done right and my dress kept sliding down in the front.
Basically - I think all of the bridesmaids looked horrible -- but I always thought that was the idea of a wedding....to make all the other ladies up front look horrible so the bride looks even better than she would. The only wedding pictures my brother and SIL have in their house in open areas feature only them. I keep no 'evidence' around either....there are a few pics in a photo album - but no one ever looks at them.
Just remember - it's your friend's day - that's what matters.
ftr - DH and I eloped - IMO a great way to keep friendships intact. 
coasterqueen replied: NEVER say NEVER . I read in People about a woman who was over 300 pounds who lost about 100 pounds in like 4 months (if I'm remembering correctly).
You CAN lose the weight if you are driven enough. But being driven is the key. You will look beautiful regardless, but what if you even lost 10 pounds? That's 10 pounds lighter and you'll feel better about it.
If you say it's too late to lose weight, you'll never lose any. You can do this! 
Kaitlin'smom replied:
I agree any ammout you can lose before will just make you feel all that much better. Join us all in our goals we can help you.
mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: FWIW, I think no matter what size you are, no one EVER feels comfortable in a bridesmaid dress!!
I do hope I'm wrong and you do like the dress and you just have a good time!
jcc64 replied: Weddings are a great motivator for diets. I've seen you post about your insecurities regarding your weight before. Obviously, it's bothering you. I personally don't think there's anything wrong with being a size 18 if you're healthy and happy and proud at that weight. But apparently it's really bothering you, and preventing you from full happiness. Weddings and sex should be joyous and life affirming occasions, not a reason to beat yourself up about being imperfect. You have 2 choices- either make peace with your body type, and wear it well, with your head up high, or lose weight if you can't be happy the way you are. Even a modest diet for a month can yield results- like Karen said, 10lbs makes a huge difference. It's never too late.
Hillbilly Housewife replied: She wants YOU to be there.
Nobody's gonna be looking at ya anyways... yer not the bride!!!
luvmykids replied:
You look beautiful! And Ann, you are beautiful!
And not many brides maids like the dresses anyway, no matter what their size! So just be honored to be asked to participate in her very special day, do whatever you do when you need to give yourself a boost, and enjoy!
MomToJade&Jordan replied:
I can't say it any better then this.
CAMSMOM1 replied: Thanks for the motivation! I have been beating myself up over my weight since my son was born. I have never had a problem with my weight until I got pregnant. And havng a baby it was hard to find the time to exercise. But this wedding is motivating me! And I"m sure once I try on the dress, it'll be even more motivation!
I have to remember that this is her day, and I want to do whatever I can to make it special for her. As you said, people won't be looking at me...just the bride! Well, hopefully that's true! It's going to be like a High School reunion, so many of our old friends are going to be there. So I want to look nice.
4 months is a lot of time to lose weight. I just need to get serious! To bad I can't be on the show The Biggest Loser...I would love to have a personal trainer!
I'm going to try on the dress this week. I''ll let you guys know how it goes!
Thanks for listening to my pity party!
Ann
CAMSMOM1 replied: BTW.....thanks for including pics of yourself in bridesmaid dresses! I think you all looked beautifull, and it helped me to think more positive about it!
remtana replied: I was in my cousin's wedding and I just had a baby and the dress was sooooooooooo ugly! It was tan color and very unflattering on all of us girls. It had shoulder pads!!!!! Most of them changed out of their dress into regular clothes at the reception. I would have too, but I didn't know about this plan. My clothes were at the hotel. (I live out of state from them and didn't know any of the girls, so I wasn't told) Yes, the dress was that bad! I had my SIL cut the shoulder pad outs at the reception, so I would look any bigger than I am!
I still have a very good time! I just tried to forget about the dress. (I am the same size as you, so I feel your pain!
Just have fun, you never know, since you haven't seen the dress, you may like it!
I know, when I picked my bridemaid's dress out, I considered everyone's sizes.
Angela
CosmetologyMommy replied:
You do not look like a size 20!!!!
kit_kats_mom replied:
lol! thanks. I'm 5'10" so I carry it pretty well but you dont see the enormity that is my butt in the pic 
Freckled Momma replied: I think you are beautiful just the way you are, but I understand how you are feeling. We are our own worst critics.
And I think you can do anything you put your mind to....and if you lose 10lbs...HEY that's 10lbs gone!!...always view it as an accomplishment, no matter how much it is. Means you can reach your goal if you keep pressing on!
Speaking of The Biggest Loser...did you know that they have put out an excersize dvd? Just a fyi
MyLuvBugs replied: Well, maybe it will be a good thing if you end up PG. THen you'll have a really good excuse to get out of doing it!:)
MyLuvBugs replied:
She's your best friend, and will understand if you talk to her about it. But most of all you NEED to have confidence in yourself sweetie. That's what will show in the pictures. If you feel sexy and beautiful, that's what people will see. Not what size dress you're wearing.
Also, you've got 4 months. If you're not PG, you can loose almost 20 lbs in that amount of time, if you really work at it. If loosing weight is what you really want, then go for it. But I would really talk to your friend and explain to her what you're feeling. She will understand.
My2Beauties replied: I just got married in May and all my bridesmaids varied in sizes, from a size 2 (my maid of honor) to a size 16. They all looked so beautiful and wonderful and I was so happy that they didn't complain about the dresses that I liked, infact I let them go and all agree on a dress that they were all comfortable in. Here is ap ic of them:
Oh yeah this was my husband's happy dance when they pronounced us man and wife - pay no attention to that 
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