I'm Sad. :(
3xmommy wrote: I'm sad. There ain't no other way of saying it. That's my problem. I feel intense sadness. I had an appointment today with my OBGYN doctors to talk about getting my tubes put back together but I cancelled it because my husband says he don't care if I get it done, but if I do he won't never touch me again. I've tried to explain to him that I feel different and I just don't feel "right" without the ability to have children if I chose to. It is really hard to explain to anyone, I just don't want my tubes to be tied.
But it isn't only that, ya know... it's like, everyday I wake up and I know that my whole day is gonna be the exact same as the one before... Wake up (being bopped in the head with some toy), get up stumbling around, damn near breaking my toe on LEGOS... then the entire day, it's run the kids and nothing else. Don't get me wrong, I love my babies... but my life, my days I should say, have become predictable and it's just boring! 
I dunno. It helped to type that out... thanks for reading if ya did.
-Di
MyBlueEyedBabies replied: I'm sorry. I can't say I *know* what your going thru but it does make sense to me. I told dh I didn't want anythign perminent because I want to have the ability to have more if i decided I wanted more than 2...I don't see it ever happening but didn't want the option taken away
PascosGirl replied: Is your doc giving you something? It is ok to take something to get thru this low point.
I hope you get better.
mammag replied: I know what you mean about every day being the same. We had another post by someone feeling the same way, so you are not the only one. I don't know what to tell you about the tubes thing because of the way your husband feels. If he doesn't want another one there isn't much you can do. You have every right to have them fixed but if he doesn't want another kid it's going to make him less inclined to want to "be" with you.
As far as the depression, I'd look into the antidepressants if it gets bad. I find the times I've been depressed it's because I'm anxious about something or feel like there is nothing to look forward to. Do you have a hobby or something fun you could plan for yourself?
I hope you feel better soon.
Alice replied: I guess he wouldn't consider a vasectomy instead? From what I understand, they're cheaper, less invasive, and sometimes reversible.
gr33n3y3z replied: Hi Di
I'm not sure what to say about this
But how old are you?
mammag replied:
It sounds like she already had hers cut but wants to get them back together. Her purpose to get them fixed is to possibly have another baby so him getting done would defeat the purpose.
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Another thing to add is that unless you intend to leave him and have a baby with someone else, if he is adament that he doesn't want another baby I personally wouldn't do it, at least not right now. I'm guessing he doesn't want you to do this because he is afraid you will try to get pregnant whether he wants to or not and that is why he is saying he won't be with you. Does that make sense?
~KARA~ replied: I know how you feel about everyday being the same thing. I have been so lonley this pregnancy and just want to craw in a hole so no one can find me.
About having your tubes undone maybe you could wait a few months and talk to your dh again. 
Daisyx3 replied: I'm sorry I know how ya feel kinda.
WHen i had #3 DH was pushing and pushing for me to get my tubes tied. Well i was supposed to do it the day after she was born but I canceled it 
Well I got home and i usually have PPD its not bad but bad enough. Dh was on me again about getting my tubes tied  Well anyway I made 2 apts and canceled them both. I just coulndt do it. I dont know for sure if I'm done having kids or not but even so it would feel weird like you are feeling.
I talked to several young girls that had their tubes tied and regret it.. They told me dont tie your tubes unless you are 100% sure you are done having kids..
 to you.
If this will make you happier I say do it. Dh will be fine. Just get on B/C right away.
GL
3xmommy replied: Well, number one, I don't have much time for hobbies. I paint a little here and there, little doodles. Mainly on my desk here with acrylic paint. 
And see, my husband trusts me to not trick him into another baby, but he don't trust BC... understandable. We got #2 while using condoms and got #3 while using those suppositories(sp?). But I still don't feel "right" with it done. I should have thought about it more before I agreed to have my tubes messed up.
I'm also afraid to tell my doctor how I feel, the depression and everything. I don't want them to think I can't take care of my babies. If somebody took my babies, there'd be no me. My whole life revolves around my kids, kwim?
-Di
MommyToAshley replied: Aweee, sweetie, I am sorry you are going through such a rough time. When I first read your post, I was going to suggest having your tubes fixed and then going on BC because that isn't so permanent, but I see that your hubby doesn't trust that. I know it is so hard to make a decision that is so final. Have you told your DH everything you said here? It may not change his mind, but it might help you to get it all out in the open and really tell him how you feel and why.
I wish I had better advice, or could say something to make you feel better. I just hope you know we are here to listen whenever you need an ear.
bwalkerletters replied: You can talk to your doctor about it. My ex went through the same kind of depression. It happens to a lot of women apparently. Yeah, this is coming from a man, but I do have a little input with it, because I've been there as a husband/father. It wasn't a good time for me watching my ex feeling sorry for herself, especially when there was nothing I could do for her during that time. It's all a medical thing, especially if it's postpartum. I don't know if that's it, but if it is, you should definitely talk to your doctor!
jcc64 replied:
Depression is VERY common, and no dr would assume you are unable to care for your kids based solely on that circumstance. I've had periodic bouts of depression and anxiety, which I sometimes treat with anti-depressents. Medication can help enormously if you are stuck in a rut and just can't get out on your own.
I suspect your sadness is stemming from something deeper than your tubal ligation situation, but only you can know what that is. I was interested in your comment that without your babies, there'd be no you. While I think I understand that what you meant is that your kids are the most important thing in the world to you, sometimes you need more to sustain you, which I think is why all your days are starting to feel the same. Maybe you can carve just a little time for yourself during the day, or at the end of the day, to do what ever it is that makes you feel good- maybe it's just exercising (that's what I do), or taking a walk, or a hot bubble bath, going out for a drink with girlfriends once and awhile. It's so easy to get lost in the day to day of motherhood, and to feel that you are not entitled to or connected to the person you were before you became a mom. It's both possible and necessary, no matter how busy you are. I had been a mom for almost 4 yrs before I realized this.
Pm me if you want, and I wish you luck.
bwalkerletters replied: Plus look at it this way, with a healthy and happy YOU, then that will carry on to the kids, and really, your whole family. A depressed YOU carries on to your family. Definitely, talk to your doctor. Your kids will be going nowhere. They'll be happy to see mom is doing what she has to do to get your emotional welfare back in shape.  Don't just sit around thinking things will change all of a sudden. Like I said in my previous post, I went through it as the husband/father, watched my ex and her actions. She WOULDN'T get help for her depression, and honestly, it tore our marriage apart. I know things will be different for you, so take that step, and don't be afraid of it.
amymom replied:
I suggest you talk to the doctor anyway. They won't think you can't care for your babies. You need to be healthy. Talk to your doc right away. Then when your depression lifts you can think clearly about the tubal etc.
My2Beauties replied:
ITA that is what I was going to suggest - the responsibility shouldn't be left solely up to you! There are more complications with women having their tubes tied than with men getting a vasectomy! HUGS to you hon! I'm sorry!
PascosGirl replied: Your doctor is not going to think you can't take care of your babies. This is a very common and very much treatable problem. He is going to give you things to help you and I promise, you will feel better.
CCTandME replied: That's exactly why I will not get my tubes tied. I could never go through with it. I have 3 kids already, doubt I will have more. BUT, if I by chance find myself in love with a great man and we were to get married, then I MAY want another one. Don't know for sure.
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