I'm Horrible

holley79 wrote: I swear I just want to . Shawn has been wonderful and helping out as much as possible. The only thing he can't do right now is feed her. There are times I wonder why I ever started BF. I know it's great for Annika and that is why I do it. I am just EXHAUSTED. I don't think I have slept since before she was born. She's an every two hour baby right on the money. At night she sleeps for about 4 to 6 hours but she makes noises in her sleep that keep me awake. Even if I move her into the nursery I still have to have the monitor on so that defeats the purpose, I will still hear her.

To all the moms that have infants and other children, my hat is off to you. I really suck at this mom thing.

Any suggestions?? I'm a walking zombie and I just want to lately. Heck I have cried and it's not a good thing. It can't be healthy.

PrairieMom replied: Theres nothing wrong with crying. you have been through a major life changs, your hormones are rageing, and you are exhausted. You totally deserve to cry a little.
Hang in there.

amynicole21 replied: Have you tried nursing her in your bed? It is the only thing that has saved my sanity with two kids. You learn to sleep through it

It really does get easier, by the way. Far easier than making formula bottles at all hours of the night

ediep replied: That is the reason that I moved Jason to his own room whenhe was a few weeks old. I turined the monitor down a bit so I would hear him cry to be fed, but I wouldn't hear the noises he made while he slept.

Cry all you want.....you just had a baby!!! It is NOT EASY to take care of a newborn, even with the help of your DH

~Roo'sMama~ replied: I know what you mean about the night time noises that keep you awake. I was the same way with Roo - every little sigh he made I would jerk awake and sit up to look at him. It did get better after we moved him to his own room, even though we had the monitor. Is Annika's room close to yours? Sometimes now when I'm having trouble sleeping through all of Andrew's sleepy noises I shut the monitor off ~ his room is close to ours and I can still hear him when he cries - we don't even really need the monitor but I like to have it. If you need to have it on, try turning it all the way down so that you don't hear every little sound she makes but you'll still hear when she cries.

Before we moved him to his own room, I nursed him in my bed like Amy said. I didn't sleep as well with him next to me though... I still don't. But if it helps her sleep better it might help you get some needed sleep!

As for the nursing, it does get better. Of course, just when it seems like it's slowed down, then she'll have a growth spurt and it'll pick up again. But it does get better! Hang in there.

C&K*s Mommie replied: to the other ladies here. It gets far better than you could have imagined. Crying is perfectly okay, it is healthly, and you are doing the best that you can~ better than the best that you can~~ you are doing VERY well!!

It helped me to keep looking forward. When I thought that there was no end in sight to the issues that I was dealing with (mostly with Kellie) I kept on looking forward~ daydreaming essentially about what it is going to be like, instead of what it is like. It may sound ridiculous, but we have all had those moments. Like *PrarieMom* said, the hormones are going overtime. They probably will for awhile.

Continue to do your best, possibly take the advice of turning down the volume until it is barely audible to the soft noises~ but it is loud enough for the hollers, and grab a nap when you can. Consider jotting your thoughts in a journal too. It might be interesting later on down the line, when you look back~ and it may help to draw out some inner sadness in the present.

The roller coaster ride is just beginning, but it gets much, much better ~~ I promise!!

BAC'sMom replied: I agree with everything that the other mothers said…. Cry all you want, there is NOTHING wrong with crying. I know I did my share! Things will get better I promise. I remember those days with my first; I finally put him in the bed with me to nurse. (I know they say not to do that these days) But it worked for me I knew when he was awake, warm, sleeping, or hungry. He seemed to sleep better when he was with me, in turn that meant I could get some sleep too. Try to get a nap in when you lay her down during the day. I would turn the phone off…. forget about housework….. and catch some zzzzz’s.



If you need a pep talk PM me…I have been there.

TeagansMom609 replied: I keep Matthew in the bed with me and when he makes any noise I just nurse him and we both fall back asleep. Its so much easier then keeping him in another room and having to get up to get him a few times a night. Are you sleeping during the day when she sleeps? I take atleast one good nap with him during the day. I know its hard. I ship Teagan off to daycare M-W-F so I can stay sane and catch some Z's. Good luck!

jcc64 replied: What you're feeling is very very normal and predictable. I think we've all shed our share of tears during the early post partum stage. You're tired, you're overwhelmed, you're wondering if you're ever gonna feel like yourself again. You're mourning the loss of your life as you used to know it.
It will get better, believe me. Slowly, over time, you'll acclimate, the baby will establish a routine, you'll gain more confidence in yourself, bf will become like breathing to you(yes, it really will), and eventually you'll forget what it used to be like and grow into your role as a mom. It doesn't happen overnight.
In the meantime, take one day, one hour at a time. Bring her into your bed at night and nurse her back to sleep. There are all sorts of products you can put right in your bed if you're nervous to sleep with a newborn. (links anyone?) I used to keep the bassinet literally right against my bedside- I wouldn't even have to sit up to pick the baby up or put her back. And like Amy said, as hard as bf is, it's a lot less disruptive than getting out of bed and warming up and preparing bottles.
Hang in there.

moped replied: Oh we have all been there - that is one of those things people don't tell you about when you are PG. As wonderful as it is, it is also a very big adjustment as well, and an adjustment for everyone involved. It will get easier and you will get more rest. Sleep when baby does. Feel better soon

And crying is not a bad thing

Freckled Momma replied: It's gonna be ok Cry all you want, we all have Everything you are feeling is VERY normal. I am sure every one of us had doubts about ourselves being good mommies...I KNOW I DID! (still do, at times )

I agree with everyone else. I also nursed while sleeping with all 4 of mine. It really did save my sanity. You won't harm the baby. And like someone said there are products out...wedges that will form a slight barrier between your bodies, but you can still nurse and won't roll over on them. (if that's a fear) They also have a bed type thing that will sit right next to your bed(attaching sorta) while giving them their own space, still allowing you to be able to just slide them to you for nursing and back when done.
I always slept better knowing they were ok beside me and I wasn't worrying if they were ok in another room. But that was just me. Other's have said it was worse on them. Just finding whatever works for you and baby, that's the thing you have to do.

Hope you feel better soon, try talking to your dr about how things are going and how you are feeling, they sometimes have the best advice for you and your situation

Insanemomof3 replied: My kids were always in bed with me, when I fed them, I dozed while they ate happily. Saved some sanity for me I think. I hope it gets better for you. I know it will.

fashionmumofboys replied: I hope things start to get a easier for you. It will with time. Try BF her in your bed with you, it will make things much easier then having to get up every so often.

Good luck.

C&K*s Mommie replied: One Step Ahead this is a link to find some ideas when you are nursing, and if you wish to co-sleep for a period of time. And when you no longer have a need for it, & after you have all the kids you desire to have; You can place the products in a consingment shop to get a return of the money that you put in. There are quite a few here in town, too. Only a few of those I have been in though.

Just an idea.

SOUTHERN MOMMY replied: have you tried pumping so that at least one time or two during the night your Dh can feed and you can sleep through this is what i did and it worked great. To you and good luck it does get better

coasterqueen replied:
If one has dh give a bottle at night you need to remember that you'll have to pump during that time, UNLESS Dh is going to give him the bottles EVERY night. Because eventually your supply will be programmed not to have an abundant supply of milk at those times of the night. Not a very good practice IMO. Every once in awhile would be fine, but again you'd still have to pump and IMO it's much faster to get baby back to sleep by nursing than letting Dh give a bottle and you pump.

I'm with Amy, I just brought baby to bed with me and nursed whenever she needed it.

If you want to put baby in own room and not worry about hearing EVERY teeny tiny sound she makes buy the Sony NTM-910. I think that's the model. It's AWESOME!!!!! I HAVE to be able to hear every sound my babies make when they are not in the room with me, but it drove Dh batty so he bought this monitor and it has two settings. One is so you hear noise all the time. The other setting is so you only hear a high change in frequency of sound. So you will only hear her if she cries. You won't hear her breathing, moving, etc...just crying. Might be worth it to you.

If you don't want baby in bed with you, get a co-sleeper or side car the crib to your bed. I side-carred with my 1st but she still hated the crib even when she had access to me.

hang in there!

holley79 replied: I have nursed her in bed. I usually put her up on my body pillow because that puts her level with my BB. She is a sloppy nurser at times though. She wants to play then when she finally decides she wants to really eat she latches down hard. I do pretty good with her in the bed with me though I have a hard time sleeping because of her playing. I will probably start pumping sometime this week. She will be three weeks on Wednesday.

I appreciate all of you listening to me whine. This has defiantly been trial and error. More error then anything. We are still in the early stages so we will just wait it out and see.

I miss you all.

moped replied:

luvmykids replied: You do NOT suck at this mom thing! We've all been there. I swear the only thing that got me through was sleeping whenever I could! I finally quit trying to get things done when they were napping and napped myself. Personally, I fall apart at the tiniest thing when I'm over tired.

It's a huge adjustment physically, emotionally and mentally and it will get better!

P&PT to you!

PhiMuMommy replied: if she has the hang of eating down then you can do what i used to.. lay on my side and let the baby eat while i snnoze. it won't get you a lot of sleep but they do the work.. get tired and nap.. and all the while you are napping..

it worked well for me.. also have you thought of pumping so you can get away for awhile?

just a sugestion.. hope you sleep soon!

holley79 replied: It's 0326 am. DH is in the spare room snoring. He has to be up at 0500 hours. Annika just fell asleep here in my lap at the computer. THANK GOD for the invention of the Boppy Pillow. She just fell asleep nursing. I think I am going to FINALLY go night night. I have learned there isn't crap on TV this time of the morning. At least I have the message board. LOL

Thank you again everyone. I did pump 4oz this afternoon after she finished nursing. My left side was hurting and it needed to be relieved. DH promised me that when he got home tomorrow he would entertain Munchkin and I could sleep.

mom2three replied: o, do i remember the days of no sleep and horomones! my youngest, Jon is 9, so it's been a while, but i was just as sleep deprived with my grand daughter, Cassidy. it will get better, just hang in there... believe me, if i lived near you- i would help you...
e

gr33n3y3z replied:
it is very healthy to let out a good cry
you will adjust just hang in there

jacobsmama replied: awww Holley I know that you are a great mom!!! It is ok to feel overwhelemed that is why I'm scared to have another baby because I was so freaked out by everything and didn't think I could do it but your one step better than I was because I couldn't breast feed...it will get easier. Hang in there and you are a GREAT mom.

kimberley replied: everything is overwhelming with no sleep. i really hope dh gives you a break cuz things will feel a lot better when you are rested. hang in there and PM if you want to chat at 3am lol.