If you're going to be late...

MamaJAM wrote: I admit this up front...this post is part question - part vent....

Say you drop your child (age 10) off at a friend's house for a sleep-over. It's 6:00pm.....you tell the other mother you'll be back at 1:00pm to pick your child up.
Then - you're "running late" and don't even leave your house to pick you child up until 2:00pm. You do think to call the house where you're child is to let them know you are, finally, on your way. But -- when you call - instead of saying you're sorry you're really late...or remotely apologizing...you're laughing and giggling about how you're "behind schedule".

First -- how late is 'late' in your opinion?
Next -- if you're running more than a few minutes behind (say - more than 10 mins) - do you call and let the person know you're running late? Or would you wait until you are _very_ late (say 60 mins) and finally on your way to call?
Or - would you not call at all and just show up whenever?
Lastly -- if you were the parent at the house where your child was....and expecting the other mother to arrive LOOONG before they finally show up -- would you call the other house? If so - how 'late' would you let the other mother be before calling?



I admit -- I probably wouldn't be feeling as annoyed/used as I do right now if the mother who was supposed to pick her child up here today seemed remotely sorry for being so late.

luvmykids replied: I don't blame you at all, it was rude and thoughtless. We all know things happen but a phone call an hour after pick up time without apology is flat out rude. I consider myself late if I'm not 5 minutes early, and would've called as soon as I had any inkling that there might be a glitch. And I definitely would have apologized profusely.

I pick the kids up on time, and if I know I can't I make other arrangements ASAP.

luvbug00 replied: IMO If you are litterly 1 secound passes estimated arrival time then you are late. I personally call as SOON as I know I'm going to be late. If somone is late picking up their child from our house I give them litterly 5 min and call them. last time I checked I'm not a babysitter and I know some children get freaked out when their parents run late and don't call. I think what was done to you today is horribly rude and the fact that she didn't appologise is awful! many huggs

MamaJAM replied:
I'm the same way -- if I'm not early - I feel very late.

This girl has been here before overnight...her mother is often 10-15 mins late picking her up. I think the reason I didn't call was because I'm used to it....to a point. This was REALLY bad today...and I don't think I want to do this again. Personally - I think 6pm-1pm is a VERY long visit....but the girls had a project for school to work on - so I didn't try to insist on an earlier time.
I know I'm babbling -- I'm just feeling a bit peeved right now.

C&K*s Mommie replied: ~~A few minutes is technically late, but nothing to be concerned over, unless it is for work, or an interview or anything where promptness counts.

~~10/15 min late and I am able to call sure, I will. If I am just behind and I am not in a position to make a call, then what can you do? Anything more than 15/20 min or when someone is counting on you to be there-- I consider inconsiderate.

~~To answer your last question, I would be more lenient with the time. I would give them a good 45min to an hour of not calling or showing up-- before I call them. I would be steaming mad, if it were for something frivolous as to why they did not call, or lost track of time. But I would be calm until I found out the reason why they were tardy.

edited: I need to proofread these posts for correct sentence structure, before I post

CantWait replied: If I'm not 10 minutes early, then I'm late. If I say I'm going to pick my kid up at 1:00, then I assume that my kids have got to be out of the house at 1:00 in case other plans have been made etc. If I knew I was going to be late then I would definetly call, and apologize, not LAUGH, that's just plain rude.

CosmetologyMommy replied: I would call when I knew I was going to be late. It is embarrassing.

My3LilMonkeys replied: If I am going to be more than 10-15 min. late I call. And I always apologize even if I am 5 min. late.

As for the other parent, I would probably give them 1/2 hour before I called to check on them.

Sorry you had to go through this - you are definately not wrong to be mad!

holley79 replied: Number one that is totally irresponsible of that mother. If I were even going to be remotely late I would pick up the phone and be apoligizing till I was blue in the face. What if the other parent has something they need to do? That's just totally rude. At 15 after I would have been calling her house. I mean someone could have gotten busy cleaning or something and lost track of time or laid down to take a nap. A phone call would just be "checking" to make sure everything was ok.

JMO

Edited because I had unresponsible instead of irresponsible. The deputies are in trouble when I go back to work. LOL

MyBrownEyedBoy replied: Aaron drives me bonkers with this. He is consistently late for meetings/dinners with the other partners of the firm he works with. And when I go to, he makes us both late. It makes me nuts, his reasoning is, no one else will be on time, why should we. Just because others are inconsiderate doesn't mean we have to be. You guys remember the "If your friends jumped off a cliff..." speech? Sorry, mini rant.

Anyhow, an hour is totally unacceptable unless a major emergency came up and if one did, I had better have gotten a call. Well before the 60 minute mark. I would think waiting 15-20 minutes then calling the other parent is a good buffer zone. And she totally owed/owes you an apology.

luvmykids replied:
Jeff does too, and blames it on me. It's embarrassing and juvenile!!!!

fashionmumofboys replied: OMG how rude of that mother.

Sorry this happened to you.

KingMom replied:
Dito - That was flat out RUDE

kimberley replied: u would be upset. sorry that happened to you