I totally need to be hospitalized - rant to follow

Mommy2Isabella wrote: Bed Rest is so much harder than I thought.

I am totally loosing my mind. I know it is best he stay inside however, I am wondering when it becomes unsafe for the mother to remain pregnant. I emotionally can barely take another day. I will be 33 weeks on Friday, so much further than I thought I would get.

I cry so much, it kills me that Isabella tells me she misses me. I know what she means, she misses the things we used to do. I feel like the kids are suffering because we decided to have another baby. I feel selfish. My belly is sooooo tight I feel like it will rip at the slightest bit of extra tension. I can barely walk from the pressure of little Ian who is engaged and ready to go. TMI but I am scared to go number 2 because I think he might fall out into the toilet or something < totally silly. I have contractions all the time, they have me on meds to help but they don't really help, and I can't sleep so I take ambien to help me sleep. I am just soooo tired of this whole pregnancy thing, it is really really wearing on me. Showering is hard to do now a days standing up for any extended period of time makes me swell bad!!

On the other hand, I want to keep him as long as possible. Though I am frustrated because the odds of me making it to 37 weeks on bedrest is slim, so what is the point of all of this, it seems there is no way around a NICU stay??

I just need some encouragement or something ...

PrairieMom replied:
there may be no way around a icn stay, but there is hope to keep him off life support when he is born. every day he stays in he gets stronger and its better for his overall health for his life time.

Mommy2Isabella replied: Tara , I totally never thought of his long term health in that light!! Just a few days until 33 weeks and then before I know it I will be 34

I just get so frustrated, I just want to hold him and the thought of not being able to really avoid a NICU stay is frustrating, like what am I doing all of this for ... but like you said, long term

BAC'sMom replied: Try to remain positive and rest like your Drs have asked.

My great nephew was recently born at 24 weeks. There is no way you want Ian going through what my great nephew is going through.

luvmykids replied: I know how frustrating bed rest is, I had to do it with the twins for six weeks. But I can't imagine how much worse it is with two other children in the house....just remind yourself what Tara said, it's not just the inital NICU stay, it's his health for the rest of his life

I hope you can hang in there a few more weeks, really in the big picture try to tell yourself a few weeks isn't much although right now one more day of it is enough to pull your hair out

amymom replied: Lots of prayers for patience for you and the kids. Lots of prayers for the little one to 'cook' as long as he can.

PrairieMom replied:
There was so much more I wanted to say, but I was posting from my phone and only had some many characters to text. LOL.

You can do this. Every single day he bakes is better in the long run.

A&A'smommy replied: I know it has got to be hard but I agree its his long term health you need to think about and maybe you will make it to 35 or maybe even 36 weeks and if you do that LESS time maybe even no time in the nicu!!! your doing great and don't forget you have LOTS of time to make it up to isabella and I bet she is going to LOVE her baby brother and that extra family that she will have for the rest of her life I think what your doing is great, I know you miss playing with the other two like you use to I can't imagine how hard that must be but you are doing a great thing!!!

boyohboyohboy replied: Jess maybe your dh can help you set up a blanket tent in your bed and bring the kids in for some pop corn or something, kids love blanket tents..I am sure you could use the time with them and the laughing and smiling could really brighten your day..or how about a heavy blanket and use flash lights, it will keep the kids busy and they will have lots of fun with you.

I pray that you are able to make it to at least 3 weeks..
hang in there, you will be so glad you did,

CantWait replied: I like Stacey's idea.

Hang in there, Robbie made it to 35 and had NO problems, 36 would better of course. It'll be so worth it in the end.

~Roo'sMama~ replied: I'm sorry you're having a rough time! I can't even imagine. Hang in there. Can Isabella and Isaia hang out with you and watch movies on your bed? Maybe if they have enough cuddle time reading/watching tv with you it will help. I like the tent idea too... or they could bring some coloring books and crayons to color on your bed too, or any of their toys that would fit. Andrew and I have even played with his building blocks on my bed so that might work. I've never been on bed rest but there have been days when I've been sick or just really tired and we've brought Little People toys, books, blocks, and snacks on to my bed and just hung out there most of the day and he thought it was pretty fun.

boyohboyohboy replied: Jess, I was thinking also is there someone in your area that does home massages?

I know you have to check with the dr because some massage techniques can bring on labor but I think a gentle massage might make you feel better, and maybe a manicure or pedicure for you and your dgt?
Even if its just done by a friend?

coasterqueen replied:
Ooh good idea. Can you let your kids give you one? I don't remember their ages, but my girls have ALWAYS loved giving what they call "spa treatments" to me. It usually means soapy/smelly water that they rub all over my face, arms and legs and then horrifically looking nail polished fingers and toes. As a matter of fact I'm at work today with fingernails in all different colors and polish all over the sides of my fingers. They gave me a spa treatment night before last.