I shouldn't feel this way...

MommyToAshley wrote: Most of you already know that DH and I both work from home with our own business. So, we pretty much share everything equally.. business, housework, and caring for Ashley. (However, I do change most of the diapers) Whenever I need to do work for the business, he watches Ashley. And, vice versa. Because of our situation, DH is fortunate and is able to spend a lot of time with Ashley. He has a wonderful relationship with Ashley... her face lights up and she will say "hi Dad" whenever he walks in the room. (It's so cute)

Even though they have this special bond, Ashley always wanted Mommy when she was hurt or scared, etc. Well, last night she woke up, I think she had a nightmare. I went into her room to try to comfort her but she was screaming "Dad! Dad! Dad!" I picked her up and tried comfort her and to rock her and she just cried "Dad! Dad! Dad!" He heard her calling for him and came in and picked her up and she stopped crying right away. She fell back asleep in his arms. I know that I should be happy that they have such a special bond and that he is such a wonderful Daddy, but I was a little hurt that she didn't want me. Now I know how he felt all those times she wanted Mommy to comfort her. I feel a little guilty for feeling how I do, but I can't help it. There have been times when we were playing that she preferred one of us over the other, and that never bothered me. I guess I just wanted to be the one to nurture and comfort her. Silly, huh?

supermom replied: And it will go back and forth for the rest of her life. There are times when Anders only wants one or the other of us, whether it be to cuddle, be comforted or be played with. I know, it does hurt a little, but there will be times in the future that she'll only want you again......


<<<HUGS>>>

No, it's not silly, just the way it is...

coasterqueen replied: Ahhh, not silly at all. Since I have the velcro nursing baby, she still wants me all the time for everything, lol, but when she does want daddy for something and only him, I get sad too. It's normal ((HUGS))

paradisemommy replied: Nah..not silly..I'd probably feel the same way (though I have yet to experience this)..dh works 24 hour shifts so ds spends WAY more time with me...don't be sad though...like supermom said..it will change - just watch...

mummy2girls replied: I think the reason we feel that way as moms is when our children is sick or hurt or sad you want to be the one to comfort them and make them feel better. So when they prefer someone over you it urts a bit. Jenna is starting to prefer daddy now....

mckayleesmom replied: Mckaylee is actually just starting to go to him alot..she says dada too now....But I actually like it. Im sure my feelings will get hurt eventually, but right now I am glad because it has taken along time for her to bond with him. Don't get me wrong, he is a great dad, but he works alot...so in a way its a good thing I work a couple hours a week because he takes care of her during that time and their bond has improved so much because of it.

A&A'smommy replied: NOT at all...i want the same thing, i believe its a normal mommy thing to have our babies that were inside of us for so long want mommy and not anyone else...dont feel bad it isa wonderful that she wanted daddy it shows that he is a WONDERFUL daddy and you have a wonderful husband. Try to think of it as a blessing...it might make you feel a little better! (((HUGS))))

MomToJade&Jordan replied: You are not silly at all. When Jade was a little baby there were times when she would get really upset and the only one who could calm her down was her Daddy. He would hold her and play the 1912 Overture for her and she would just stop crying and drift off to sleep. It's fantastic that Ashley and her Daddy have such a good relationship. Mom's are comforting and nuturing, but sometimes a Daddy looks big, strong, and able to chase away the scaries. I know when I had nightmares when I was little I would call for my Dad because to me he looked like he could battle and beat any monster. To me my Dad was my first knight in shinning armor. Maybe that is the case with Ashley. I think that is just the sweetest thing in the world.

ediep replied: It is not silly to feel that way, I would feel the same way.....When Jason cries in the middle of the night I always go to him. Think about it this way.....you get to stay in bed sleeping!

aspenblue1 replied: You are not silly. I felt the same way when Isabella did that.

Kirstenmumof3 replied: Awww Dee Dee! Don't feel bad, I think that's wonderful that they have such a great relationship!

jcc64 replied: Having been through this a few times already, I can tell you these little stages come and go at various times throughout childhood. It's normal and developmentally appropriate. But I know it still hurts a little bit. My older son is edging toward puberty, and he's really looking to his dad more now. Sometimes he acts like I'm the biggest idiot on the planet. They play their sports, watch those dopey action movies, and I see dh indoctrinating ds into the wonders of testoterone. I know in my head it's normal, but I can't deny that it makes me feel sad that he's pulling away.

jem0622 replied: Totally normal and I understand how you feel. Just wait until she is 3/4 and when she doesn't get the answer she wants from you then she'll ask Dad! Stinkers!

I have always been the one to nuture when someone is hurt/sick. DH is the fun one that they can wrestle with and all. Of course Mommy's the goofy one. So we all play a part.

It's interesting b/c I have another sister who is 13 mos older than me. She is such a Daddy's girl. I, on the other hand, am middle of the road...favoring no parent. Go figure!

Julie

Kaitlin'smom replied: not silly at all, until recently Kaitlin has always wanted me now she is starting to want her daddy kinda nice but sad.

kimberley replied: not silly at all. i felt the same way with the boys. it is hard not to be needed as much but i guess it is something we just have to keep getting used to. they grow up way to fast!

CantWait replied: Like supermom said, it will go back and forth. I know it still sucks though, and there's nothing to feel quilty about. Hugs to you