I really need some support - ...had a really bad day

Farelle wrote: Some of you may have read my past posts asking for help with my 3 year old son. And I appreciate all your suggestions....but what I could use right now is some "mommy' support. I feel like I just cannot go through another day. Today was another day of constant struggles. When I'm not having to correct bad behavior from him I feel like all I do is chase my other little one around (he's 17 months) I'm getting so frustrated that I don't even want to take them outside anymore. They can't play in the same area so I can't play with them, they're always going in the opposite direction. When I try to engage them in an activity together all I get is the negative replies. I try so hard to keep upbeat but when all I hear all day is no, nothing, and I don't want to....I don't have any "upbeat" left. To add to all that potty training has hit an all time low and I can't even begin to talk about our meal-times...............
I just want a day once in a while where I can enjoy spending time with my boys

msoulz replied: Gosh, I wish I had THE answer for you, or any answer. I can offer .

Can you get a short break from the kids? Maybe that would renew your spirits?

I hope you feel more positive soon!

kit_kats_mom replied: I was having a lot more of those days than the good ones and I talked to my Dr. I'm struggling to find the right dosage of meds, but when they work it's heaven.

You can't change them (their behavior yes, to an extent) but you can surely change yourself and how you deal with it. I had to get really creative. Filling up a small pool and letting them do their own thing while I drank tea on the patio and watched, worked pretty well. Letting them get messy with paints is something that most kids enjoy.

I also found that a simple routine helped our family as well. Everyones attitude is better when we know what to expect.

Finally, many moms, myself included, seem to get in a rut when the kids are in a difificult phase. We tend to stay in and hunker down until the "badness" subsides. The problem with that is that it usually doesn't. Cabin fever sets in and it just gets worse. One of my best friends is now suffering from this and she seriously thinks that she simply can't leave the house with the boys because they are so wicked right now. I'm urging her to make small forays out with them to explore the area and just do something new. My girls almost always act better when we are outside of our home. If we get into a rut, I'll plan a trip a day for a week. A local park we've never been too, a mall trip to ride the carosel, the library etc.

We usually work those trips into our routine by having 10-12 be free play time. If we are home we do something like paint or swim but if given the opportunity, we will head out (not shopping, I wouldn't dare take them with me for that LOL) with some sandwiches, drinks and yogurts, and so something fun, finish up with a picnic (for some reason picnics are the best thing in the world for my girls, they love them) and head home for nap.

CantWait replied:

luvmykids replied: BTDT, it's rough. But this too shall pass, I promise! Your kids are both at ages that for me were intense, mine are about the same ages apart as yours and it does get better.

ITA with Cary, maybe a dr visit is in order. And the only other advice I have is to pick your battles, not in the sense that they get away with breaking rules or bad behavior, but if there is something you can let slide, go ahead

Miranda1127 replied:

gr33n3y3z replied:

lovemy2 replied: See if you can get a break from them for a little while - it may renew your spirits but ita with Monica - it probably is the age and it will pass -

momofone replied: It does get tiring. Maybe your oldest can start a preschool nearby ? Some supermarkets have plays areas for the kids while you shop. I have used them. Anykind of break would help. Some fitness centers have daycares in them while you work out. Hope these help.

MommyToAshley replied:

I don't have any additional advice, but just some hugs and support. Hang in there, it will get better.

Farelle replied: Thanks everyone!!!!!
I apprecaite all the hugs and support. Today was yet another totally confusing day...just when I thought I was going to pack up and run away to a desserted tropical island yesterday someone came in during the night and swapped my boys out for two angels.....??? I don't know WHAT happened over night but they were completely different today and wonderful!!! It was the much needed break that I have..needed! PHEW! Of course I'm not going to expect it to last (I know, I'm not an optomist) but I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts!!! (which I HOPE is at least until bedtime!)
I'm sure this "phase" will pass too.....it's just so hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when you're in the middle of it. But hearing that some of you have gone through it and that it does get better gives me hope that all this behavior will fade away as they get older.........who knows, maybe I was the same way when I was little....(NEVER!! ha ha!)

Calimama replied:
I'm glad today is better for you hun.

indywndy_04 replied: My biggest soapbox on parenting is routine. Kids respond better when they know what is coming. My suggestion is to write down a routine (for yourself) and stick to it..period. They may not respond to it right away, but they are still so little and they soon will. When a house is chaos with no routine estabilished, the kids act chaotic because they have no guidelines.

I would suggest writing a time line of activities hour by hour including their naps, lunches, dinner, bathtime, bedtime.

Also - get them outside, take them on long walks...some children just need to get the energy out that they are penting up.

That is JMO...it works for me in my home and I hope it can work for you.