I put my foot down

mommy~to~a~bunch wrote: We are trying to refinance our mortgage, and DH calls them yesterday for an update on how things are going. The guy he talked to mentioned more paperwork he needed, one of them being my divorce decree. I had already sent a copy of the pages of how much child support I get & the one that says I don't receive any alimony.

So yesterday, the guy says he needs ALL of it, "just to double check" to make sure I'm not getting more child support or alimony. I was PI$$ED; he does NOT need all 30-some pages of it, some detailing the abuse I went through & what my kids went through. I put my foot down I called him back & told him I will NOT be sending him all the pages, but the pertinent ones he needs AGAIN. WTF, why do they need to be so friggin' nosey? They do NOT need to know that information .

I was proud of myself; I don't stand up for myself nearly enough, and that just pushed me over the edge. Jerks !

coasterqueen replied: Good job!

I don't see why they need that detail of paperwork.

mommy~to~a~bunch replied:
I know! Makes no sense to me!

mckayleesmom replied: Yikes..that is wierd...I wouldn't have sent it either. Its none of their business...

lovemy2 replied: They should be able to get the information about any alimony you may or may not receive from your tax returns - annoying - I hate dealing with banks - wish I was independently wealthy for that reason alone

Calimama replied: Ugh totally none of their business!!

A&A'smommy replied: good for you for standing up for yourself , there is NO reason for him to need all that paper work!!!!

My2Beauties replied: Good for you I wouldn't have done it neither.

mommy~to~a~bunch replied: Thanks! I still haven't heard back from him about it yet. He said he had to "consult with their lawyers" about it .

abunky replied: i know how you feel , some of these companies can be obnoxious , one place did the same thing , so i got mad and offered to pee in a cup and send it to them just to shut them up , lol lets just say they were shocked to here that responce

youngmomofone replied: Good for you for sticking up to yourself. People are soo nosey these days.

grapfruit replied:
And you'd keep it all in your sock drawer right?

mommy~to~a~bunch replied:
LOL, I thought about telling him that! Next time !

msoulz replied: Now, why would they care if you get MORE money than you report? I would think the opposite. But I am guessing it isn't them wanting to read your personal details, probably just some other reason. Perhaps someone out there in the business can shed light on why that may be something they request? It is a curiosity.

HuskerMom replied: Good for you!

MommyToAshley replied:
I agree, it's weird that they would care that you get MORE money than what you report... unless they are trying to find a way to make sure you meet the requirements for the loan. There are certain income/debt ratios that banks look at when approving a loan. That may be another reason for looking at the divorce decree... they may want to make sure that you don't get a portion of his retirement fund, other savings or assets, or even that he may own a portion of the house (if you got it in the divorce settlement?). I can understand why you are upset, but did you ask the loan officer why he needs it? Maybe you can just send him the pages he needs or black out the circumstances that led to the divorce. You're right, that part is none of their business.

My3LilMonkeys replied: I wouldn't send them all of it either, but I would guess they want all of it to make sure there isn't another section that mentions you would get money for something.

sparkys2boys replied: WTG for standing up to them! They have no reason to ask for that at all. What did he say when you refused?

mommy~to~a~bunch replied:
He said it was for verification of other income, then I told him again I would not send it. That's when he said he would speak with their lawyers to see what exactly they need. I haven't heard anything else yet.

MoonMama replied: Good job Mollie! That is non of their business, I'm so proud of you.

Cece00 replied: As I have worked in the mortgage industry, I have to tell you that while you may not be comfortable with it, the guy is just doing his job. Lenders specify to the brokers what type of paperwork they require.

Now, I am not saying they need all of your paperwork, but I am telling you that he is just doing what he is being told to do. I guarantee that he, personally, is not just curious to read your decree, and lenders are VERY CAREFUL about who they loan to, esp these days. The mortgage industry is in crisis & they are being very particular about who they will do loans/refis for, and what information they need. There is no reason to call him a jerk, its NOT his fault.

Are you trying to qualify under a certain loan/refi program?

redchief replied: While what Crystal says may be true, the information they're asking for is not necessary unless you're not claiming the child support, which I can see no reason for. We just refinanced last year. All I had to give them were copies of our last 3 tax returns and copies of our pay check stubs from the last three months to verify we were still employed. I'm not sure what you're refinancing, or what program you're trying to qualify under, but I simply can't see what help your divorce papers can be to them - any of them save perhaps the papers that show the marriage is dissolved so that your current marriage is legal.

The only mistake I made was in thinking that rates would level off last year... We should have waited a little longer.

mommy~to~a~bunch replied: *Sigh* he just called & said that they need all of it . I'm blacking out all the other stuff before I send it. No other place has EVER asked for it before. I'm beyond irritated with this.

lovemy2 replied:
Did you give them your last year's income tax return - or even this year's? What are they looking to verify? That you have no alimony? If that is it then if there is no alimony on your tax return than clearly you don't get it - Child support doesn't show up on your income tax return so they would have a right to ask for verification of that.

grapfruit replied:
Where I can see that he's just trying to do his job, it's still feels like he's invading your privacy. I see that. Maybe he should of told you to black out the non-pertiant info or something. I can see where you'd be upset. I would too. I dont' care the reason they need them.

mommy~to~a~bunch replied:
He has our tax returns, paystubs, bank statements, so I have no friggin' clue why he would need the whole divorce decree. I got divorced 7 years ago too!

Crystalina replied: Yea, that's a little weird Mollie. I would black it out also. I don't see what what you went through in your divorce (seven years ago ) has to do with anything. Financial papers yes but all the nitty-gritty? I just don't see it.