I need to get this off my chest. - I feel like I am having a hard time...

JessC wrote: When things come up like this is really ticks me off, not only that but hurts my feelings. This morning, I got up and ate some breakfast (even though I hate it) - cause we spent the night at his parents house, but when I was in the MIDDLE of eating... Chris's mom (JoAnn) is talking about how chris's brother jeremy and his girlfriend heidi are good workers. Right- so I just keep on eating... and joann is like yeah heidi is the best worker I have ever known, and then she follows with... at least she is not lazy and fat like some people and she works! When she said this i was thinking: " Ok everyone else works, except me" besides that fact.... she was looking at me when she said it.

She earlier about 2 days ago, she came up to me and was like " you need to get a job I dont need a son that is going to support you. " You know I understand, but seriously I have class going to school FULL TIME not only that but putting up with this stupid seperation between my mom and my step dad and constantly having to babysit my brothers so that they don't kill each other. I have to make them dinner while my mom goes out and parties, and does whatever she wants. Not only am I pissed off at this point, but I feel like I am worthless and half the time SOMEONE at least once every 2 days HAS to remind me of this.


I just feel like I am worthless...

Yes I agree, I do need a job and looking hard for them because I want the best one that fits with my schedule. But seriously I am NOT lazy. I work my a butt off everyday, dealing with this stuff, I have to make dinner and lunch half the time/ running my brothers everywhere, babysitting and having to clean THIS house because nobody else does it.

And you think that I would have time to stay at my own place. NO
then I when I do come home, I have to clean and do dishes and list goes on and on....
Chris doesn't get why I help her... but nobody else will help my mom.

Oh if only life was easy....

moped replied: Ahhhhh I am sorry - sounds like you have a plateful right now - hang in there...............I am sorry

ediep replied: ugh!!! Sometimes I wish that people would mind their business.....I can't believe that she said that to you!!! i would be so hurt, what does your DH say about comments like that? Not that you should explain yourself, but you could tell her that going to school full time is your job right now.

gr33n3y3z replied: Well your mom should be lucky she has a daughter as good as you are bc I would really have to tell her to grow up and do her own job.

As for that woman telling and saying those words to you what right does she have?

I dont mean to sound like a horriable person here but these ppl. should respect you for all that you do.

Maybe they all should look in the mirro and see what rude ppl. they have become
to treat you like this

Issues like this bother me and I hope I didnt hurt your feelings If I did I'm sorry
Big Hugs to you for you for being such a loving caring woman.

mammag replied: That is unbelievable. The next time (I personally wouldn't want to go around her ever again) I would just say "hey, I know you are referring to me and it really hurts my feelings. I would appreciate if you would keep your feelings to yourself from now on." If that doesn't work just don't be around her anymore. Sure you could quit school and get a job but then where will you be 10 years from now, ya know? You are doing the best thing sweetie so don't let her or anyone else make you feel bad. You are a wonderful person for helping your mom out. But if that gets to be too much, I think you should cut it back some. Maybe help her every once in a while but don't let it take over your life. You need time for yourself to.

I hope you feel better soon.

GavinsMommy replied: Wow, I wouldn't go over there again! She obviously has it in for you. I wouldn't go over there because if she said that to me I would have snapped right back at her, but I don't like disrespecting people in their own homes, so I just wouldn't visit there.

Don't worry about what she says. You're doing your best! You have a lot on your shoulders and you are NOT lazy.

Hugs

mommy2owen replied: So sorry! Hang in there!!!

iluvmysweetiepies replied: Awww I'm so sorry. I don't think you are lazy or worthless, you obviously have lots going on right now. It was rude of her to comment. Hang in there. (((hugs))))

Daisyx3 replied: Its funny how everyone has answers for your life.. In Laws are sooo annoying. Anyway I will be thinkign about you.

Boys r us replied: Man, I can't believe she would be SO unbelievably RUDE!
I guess I should be more thankful for my inlaws..b/c they would NEVER dream of saying something like or anything hurtful about me..at least to me, which is really all I'm concerned with. When I read stuff like this, I can't help but think to myself..Man, I must really be nieve and lead a sheltered life..hearing this makes me absolutely dumbfounded Jess! I'm really sorry!!!

As for your mom, just some friendly un asked for advice, but it sounds like you might should sit down and try to evaluate if all the help you are giving her is really helping her..sometimes things we do with good intentions of helping someone in a bad situation is actually enabling their self-inflicted misery!

MomToJade&Jordan replied: Well that was really rude of her. Being a full-time student is hard work. I know I have been there and I was a music student to boot. On top of all of the regular studies I had music studies. It was really hard to have a job while all of this is going on. All of your energy is going into getting good grades and getting through. I look back at that time and I still don't know how I managed. It sounds to me like you are a wonderful caring person. Don't let the opinions of others make you feel otherwise.

PascosGirl replied: Sounds like someone is just jealous because she has to work. I would just learn to ignore her. She sounds like one of those that is only happy if she is cutting down others. Besides, school comes first in my book.

JessC replied: THANKS for all your guys's advice.



I am glad you guys get what I am saying...

I felt like nobody did around here where I live!

I would have told her what I think... but chris said if I was to do that, she would tell me what "she" thinks and tell me to get out and never come back. And she would say it to chris also. And when she says things, she means them. Its just so stupid.

I do not plan on going over their for a few more weeks.

PascosGirl replied: Some people are so miserable with their own lives they feel they must make everyone else feel like they do. Misery loves company.

ProudAunty replied: Aww I'm so sorry to hear whats going on with you. Keep in there it will all get better. I totally understand what your going through tho. My bf is off work right now due to him being unhealthy. Everyone always comes to me and tries to make me feel bad thats hes not working and i'm doing everything. But I'm sorry but if he could he would. I just ignore them and go on with my life and i hope you do the same.

Josie83 replied: I'm sorry to hear this Jess. Things will get better, I'm sure of it! to you xx

DansMom replied: School is more important right now. What you and your partner work out in your relationship as far as school/work and who is doing the breadwinning is your business. It's not his mommy's decision to make. She can say whatever she wants, but don't let it affect your life choices, and limit your exposure to her as much as possible. School is definitely the right path if you can afford to keep going, in my opinion.

Your mom, well that's a tough one. I agree that if you're watching your brothers just so she can party, you might have to say you can't do it anymore. If you don't, you'll be stuck in that role. But I was never good at being direct with my mom about anything---it's probably the hardest thing in the world for a young woman to do. Moms and moms in law are very hard to stand up to, especially when you aren't financially independent and just starting out.

When it came to issues about my mom, I found counseling incredibly helpful and liberating. Some colleges have free counseling services on campus, and they can sometimes help you get perspective (sometimes not, but it might be worth a try).

A&A'smommy replied: I cannot believe she said that I would have CRIED!! (((((HUGS)))) I'm sorry your having a hard time but I think school is SO much more important that going to work you ARE working and one day because you went to school you will be making more money than you would if you did go to work... what if working now causes your grades to get lower or distracts you from what you need to be studying PLUS your mom needs you right now and if your fiancees mother can't understand that then she is NOT worth worrying about!!! (((((HUGS)))

DansMom replied: I was still fuming about that woman and what she said to you at 4 am this morning. Some threads really get to me, and this is one of them. What kind of person ever treats someone else that way? It's beyond me that there are people on this earth capable of such vileness. She must feel threatened by the fact that you're getting an education or that you're taking her son away from her control. Or both. She's self-absorbed and mean-spirited. Don't take anything she says to heart!

TANNER'S MOM replied: Here it is 2.09-2.20!

I feel raped everytime I get gas. It makes me mad. You know I live in the country and have to drive almost 40 miles one way to work..can you imagine.I didn't sign up for this America....cart and buggy..back to horse back.

We need to really voted on a way to change this SOMEHOW!!!!


Mel