I need to get a life - but I don't know what to do

mommy~to~a~bunch wrote: Sorry, I regret posting that now. Disregard this, thanks.

kit_kats_mom replied: LOL I didn't see the original post but the first thing I thought was "yeah, cause you aren't busy enough Mollie with a passel of beautiful kids, making diapers, clothes, good food choices...." should I go on?

You are a super mom and if that's not a life, then I'm dead. LOL

boyohboyohboy replied: how about a mom's club? i just noticed one of those in are area..they said they have a monthly night out for the mom's and you would be a wealth of info to other moms in a setting like that

MoonMama replied: Hang in there Mollie, PM me if you ever need to talk.

HuskerMom replied:

kimberley replied: not sure what ur OP was about but i am always around to talk too.

Hillbilly Housewife replied: Same here - not sure what it was... but I'm here if you wanna chat.

mommy~to~a~bunch replied:

Oh, I was just complaining about the winter blahs, how I never get time to myself, and how lonely I feel sometimes. You'd think with all of these people around, I wouldn't feel that way, but I do. Maybe isolated is a better word. It's an hour's drive to anywhere, and there's no extra $$$ for gas.

DH & I never get any time alone. He's always so busy, Pooka (Abby) is still needy, and plus the othjer girls sleep with us too. There's no time for intimacy, I don't feel close to him at all. I get jealous when he gets to do fun things with his friends, but I'm always at home. I love being home, but I'd like to do something FUN every now & then instead of just working & trying to keep the kids from hurting each other. I want to sew all day long for a day, man, that would feel so good! There's so many things I want to sew!

I just hate this time of the year; it's so cold & dreary. I can't WAIT for spring!

luvmykids replied:
That's all normal, as you probably know. My biggest complaint is the same thing...I want some FUN, just once in awhile I hope you get to do something fun, and soon

grandma replied: Do you have outside family members that could come over and give you some time off of 'mom' duty? How about your older kids, just taking over for say 1/2 day?
If I were you I'd discuss this with my husband and let him know you are feeling trapped.
I know you think it's only the winter blah's, but winter is a long season.
I wish you all the best.

Crystalina replied:
I know what you mean. DH is gone most of the week and today is Saturday and the first thing he does is go hunting with his friends. He's usually home by noon and it's not the fact that he goes but he gets adult conversation and I get the lovely job of making the kids breakfast when they get up. Then he comes home all in a good mood and I'm so blah!

sparkys2boys replied: Yup, I am the same way here to. Granted we dont have kids sleep with us so we do get that ermm.. alone time But other then that we dont have fun and I dont get out much. DH plays pool a few times aweek so that gets him out, and dont get me wrong he teels me to go all the time but I feel like I should be here doing stuff KWIM. We used to have a date night once a month but some how we stopped doing that also. I think when summer comes the feeling may pass some too, winter gives me the blah's also. WHy don't you get your DH to watch the kids one night a week and lock your self in a room to sew if you can't get out due to money. Or do you have a freind or neighbor close that you could go visit with for abit? Hope you feel better soon though

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: I have a lot of the same feelings. I absolutely HATE winter and I always feel really down. I can't wait until spring and summer for a pick-me-up!! My DH works long hours and I don't get a lot of me time, nor do I get a lot of time alone with him. It sucks, but at the same time, I always think that kids grow so fast and they will be gone out of the house before I know it, so it's just what my life is at this moment. Did that make any sense?? Probably not. I'm sleepy. Anyhow, I joined a moms club that helps give me some time with other adults...Yah, we talk about our kids A LOT, but at least it's a change from the normal routine. We do playgroup once a week, plus other activities with and WITHOUT our kids, which is bonus IMO. I'm also starting a book club with my closest girlfriends and I also plan GNO once every few weeks. We also do gourmet club with just the adults, five couples. These are just some ideas if you haven't thought of them already. I also belong to the YMCA, which I live for. Just an hour a day, if I can get it, helps me kick the blues. The kids like the daycare too, so I don't feel bad leaving them.

I have seen knitting/sewing clubs at the library...Could you join something like that to be with just adults? I don't know what your schedule is like, but maybe it can be worked into your evenings when DH is home.

Hillbilly Housewife replied: I feel the same way. A lot of us do in the winter time...

Dh's don't get why we're so witchy, either... they get to spend the day in peaceful quietness, surrounded by adults, while you stay home with noise, singing, dancing, kittle ones pulling at your legs, crying, screaming...and they wonder why we're in a bad mood come 6pm when you haven't gotten a minute to make dinner yet because your youngest is SCREAMING at the top of her lungs, the others are tossing the couch cushions at each other and almost knock over some terra cotta pieces on display and the dog is chewing your stupid debit card because your dh left it on the floor after he put the clothes in the washing machine, on HOT, on top of things, ruining a wool sweater you put hors of work into..

sorry, i trhink I hijacked your post.

mommy~to~a~bunch replied: Thank you for all of the ideas. I'm glad I'm not alone in feeling this way. Time seems like it's flying by, and I feel like I'm missing o ut on a lot of fun by being stuck in the house so much. Another thing is that I want AF back NOW. I hate my body for taking so long. I was HOPING for an October '08 baby, but that's not going to happen . It's not fair. Sometimes I feel crampy, like it's going to start, but it never does. I'm going to look into what herbs I can take that might help. This is just getting ridiculous!

Rocky - I've had days like that too. I get jealous of DH because he gets adult interaction during the day. The girls have lungs like you wouldn't believe, and OMG, don't make Kayla mad. That girl sure can scream.

I'm going to look into what Community Ed classes I might like are available & happening soon & just telling DH that I'm going to go no matter what!

grandma replied:
That is the perfect way to look at being young and raising your children, they are gone before you know it. They will always be your kids, but when they are young...they are magic. I mean really, this is the time when your making your families memories.

Calimama replied:

mommy~to~a~bunch replied: Yeah, I have to try & pretend to be happy so the kids don't remember me as being so sad and unhappy. It's hard though. I worry too much too. DH says not to, but if someone doesn't, who will? Especially money issues; someone has to think about how to pay the bills. I wish I found a man that took control of that stuff, because I suck at it & so does DH. *Sigh*.

luvmykids replied: Rae, you're so right....my dad is ALWAYS telling me (even on good days) "This is just a season of your life. Your job right now is to do your best with your circumstances as they are right now, today, if they're good enjoy them and if they're not, this isn't forever."

Also, if you split up on some evenings, where DH kept a few of the kids and you took a few with you, would that make it more feasible for you to get together with a friend? I met up with a friend tonight and although the kids were with us, having an adult to help me and converse with made something that wouldn't have been bearable a lot of fun.

mommy~to~a~bunch replied: I might try these ideas if DH is willing to help me out. I started explaining it all to him yesterday, but he wasn't listening real well. I'll just have to try again.

msoulz replied:
I love that a grandma is on the board - the voice of wisdom. You are so right and I try to remember that but when the screaming is going on along with the dryer buzzing and the oven timer going off and someone else needs to be somewhere in 15 minutes it's difficult - but you are right, we will miss these days all too soon.
Edited to correct spelling!

coasterqueen replied: Hopefully when this awful winter is over things will look brighter for you.