I need some honest opinions - May be little long

3xsthefun wrote: Ok, here is the thing. My hubby wanted to go on a fishing trip this weekend. Now he said he would stay home. Because he did not want to make me feel uncomfortable.

As most of you know, our mobile home (trailer) caught on fire back in December. Well fortunely we have been able to redo the inside of the trailer so we can move back in.

We have been living in his parents house they have up for sale since around Christmas time last year.

We have I guess about 2-3 weeks worth of work left to do before we move in. It may be little less or little more. We probably could almost move in there in 2 weeks and finish up rest of the stuff needs be done.

I told him I thought he should stay home, because I don't really feel comfy staying here since it is his parents house. They have been pushing for us to get out of here soon as possible. Which I can totally understand.

His parents also don't really think he should go. Because our home is not done yet. I know my parents don't think he should go either. No they did not say anything. But knowing my parents they said something among themselves. Or I know they probably said something to my grandma. I know my dad did at least. He always does that.

Also, I don't think his father-in-law doesn't like me to much. He has not hardly said, actually he has not said a word to me for couple months now. Yes, he helps Rob and is up around the trailer when I am up there. But he doesn't hardly look at me either. I don't know what his problem is with me.

I have not said anything to Rob about his dad, because I know he will just be upset with me. Saying well you don't say anything to my dad either.

Now, I am feeling very selfish about not him going on his trip. Should I just tell him go ahead and go? Or am I right and think he should go fishing after we get moved out of here?

Thanks for those that reply or read this.

kimberley replied: tbh, i don't think he should go. until you are moved back into your own place, THAT is the priority right now. tell him to plan another fishing trip or two after you are back in your trailer. don't feel guilty. him going leaves you in an awkward position and holds back your departure from somewhere it seems you are not welcome.

Hillbilly Housewife replied: Well if he doesn`t want to go, then he shouldn`t go.

I agree that him leaving you at his parents, with tension between you (you and in-laws i mean) is something he shouldn`t REALLY do. I`d be ticked at my DH for WEEKS for that.

Just let it ride its course.... his friends will understand either way, I'm sure.

six_kids_at_28 replied: I agree, he should stay home until your family moves back to your house. His friends will understand, and in 2 weeks he can go with them. Whatever you decide good luck

TANNER'S MOM replied: Well, how long is this fishing trip?

A day or a few?

Is there anything you would like to do? Maybe you should get your parents to watch the kids.. and you do something to revive yourself.

I know for a fact b/c I have had this happen to me. That rebuilding is very stressful and when you get close to being done you get kinda blah.. b.c it has taken so long to get here.

Maybe he just needs a break and you too.. to get back on track and get it done.

Everyone needs to breathe sometimes.

I hope it works out best.

BTW: Don't let your family's opionions decide what you feel. I know that is hard. But my Dad gave me some advice when I married Randy. He said Sis, I love ya.. but don't tell me about Randy. If he makes you mad or does something stupid don't tell me. If he hits you or hurts you then tell me. HE said you are my baby..and you and Randy will get back together and be lovey dovey.. but I will still hate him for making you mad.

So, I only tell him the BIG stuff,... not about the little stuff. And he is right... he loves Randy too. And he minds his own business in my marriage and it helps.

Boys r us replied: I definitely think he shouldn't go.

My reasons are #1 there is already tension between you guys and his parents..tension that I'm sure will be eased once you aren't all living under one roof.
#2 his parents are letting him and his family live with them until he can get ya'lls home back in shape to live in again, well..it might really peeve them off if instead of being here working on it, he's off having a fishing weekend. They may look at it as ... getting taken advantage of. While I'm sure they don't mind helping out by letting your family stay there, but at the samt time, they probably expect their son to be doing everything he can do to get the house ready to move back in to as quickly as possible and if he's off fishing..well, it might make them think, he doesn't really care how long ya'll are living with him!

#3 it makes you uncomfortable..that's the biggest and most important reason!

3xsthefun replied: Well, thankyou everyone. I still can't help but feel bad for him not going now.

I know if I told him he could go, he would go. Because he really DOES want to go.

He feels that everyone is being unfair because he wants a little break from working on our home.

my2monkeyboys replied: I agree with what was said earlier... maybe if it's just for a day or 2 he can go, and you can maybe get a sitter and do something relaxing for yourself as well. It sounds like you both need some stress-relieving time. do you have a relative/friend's house you may could stay with while he's gone, since you seem uncomfortable there?
If not, maybe you should mention why you're uncomfortable to your husband and he could talk to his parents about it... kind of a favor to you for leaving. Or maybe you could talk to them. I'm sure it'd be very hard to but it may would be good for you all. I'm assuming you'll still see them some even after you're moved back in to your place, so it would be better to straighten everything out in the long run anyway.
It's a tough situation, but I'd try to work it where you both could enjoy the break and then come back in ready to work your butt off.
Whatever you decide though, I hope it all works out for you!

Maddie&EthansMom replied: Don't feel bad. I agree with Kim...he has priorities and YOU come first. There will be plenty of opportunity to fish when the work is done and at that time you will be in your own home and you can send the kids off then and relax and do something fun for yourself.

six_kids_at_28 replied: Show him this post and let him read it...then he can know all of our opionions and yours!

3xsthefun replied: Thanks all for your opinions, I really appreciate it.

There is no way my parents can keep the kids over the weekend. My mom works 2 jobs and is hardly home. They really don't have the room for me to stay with them either.

I love my family, but I really don't want to go and stay with any of them.


I don't think I am going say anything else about him going. We really need to get out of here.


We can take a break after we are moved back into our own place.

my2monkeyboys replied: That's a great idea! then you wouldn't be "alone."

My2Beauties replied: I agree with everyone else, right now his #1 priority should be getting the house done and then once that is over, then he should relax and treat hisself to a weekend of fishing!

six_kids_at_28 replied: Glad you decided what to do!
But I'm a little confused...is he going or not? Sorry, I'm a little slow this morning

3xsthefun replied: He is not going go.

luvbug00 replied: Umm you need a break too. I think it would be very unfair of him to leave you in an uncomfortable situation and Go froicking..I know you want to let him have some fun but now is deffiniately NOT the time.

six_kids_at_28 replied: Oh, ok. Well good for you!

3xsthefun replied: Thanks all again. I'm glad no one thinks I am bad for thinking he should not go.