I need a little help - Help
A&A'smommy wrote: I'm trying to get some money together so that I will be able to afford to help out with two of my favorite christmas charities and still be able to do christmas for my family! This is something that I'm using on a forum for my town and I'm going to make a flyer but this is what I'm going to use I need a little more proof reading a girl that I work with already did it one time but we didn't have time to finish it so I need a little more help.
I make photo slideshows , they make wonderful gifts for Christmas or birthdays.
Husbands if you have a anniversary and you would like to express your love by
creating a slideshow of your life together, or maybe her birthday is coming up
and you would like to do one of your family. Also, Christmas is just a couple
months away, what a great gift for grandparents, aunts and uncles or your
spouse. It’s timeless gift for those you love. All you have to do is provide
pictures on a C.D or originals to be scanned (I have a high quality scanner for
those you who don’t have one) and the music you would like to use. I charge ten
dollars per slideshow and an additional five dollars for slideshows longer than 30 minutes.
The slideshows will work on computers or DVD players. Some of the profits will
go towards Toy for Tots and Samaritans Purse by Franklin Graham. Contact
Jessica **** at ***-**** or email me at southernmomma@bellsouth.net.
The part that bugs me the most I think is the first line it doesn't make sense so anyway help please!
BTW sorry I haven't been posting to everyone I have been pretty busy and I'm a little down finacially problems again with moving and Jeremiahs job change I think after we get caught up again things will be MUCH better but it is just getting through this slump and moving it just sucks I guess. Anyway I'm sorry I will be more active and supportive when I get back, If i missed anything important I'm sorry!
mckayleesmom replied: Ok....everything looks fine to me, I just went through real quick.....but if you charge 10 dollars for a slideshow......why only 5 dollars for ones longer then 30 minutes? Do you mean 25 dollars if its longer then 10 minutes or do you mean 5 dollars extra if it goes over 30 minutes?
mckayleesmom replied: ALso...for your first line...How about something like
Looking for the perfect gift? How about a beautiful slideshow that captures your memories in the most unique way?
A&A'smommy replied:
LOL I fixed that it was a typo
A&A'smommy replied:
thank you I like that! 
A&A'smommy replied: so how about this?
Looking for the perfect gift? How about a photo slideshow that shows your memories in the most unique way!
Husbands if you have a anniversary and you would like to express your love by
creating a slideshow of your life together, or maybe her birthday is coming up
and you would like to do one of your family. Also, Christmas is just a couple
months away, what a great gift for grandparents, aunts and uncles or your
spouse. It’s timeless gift for those you love. All you have to do is provide
pictures on a C.D or originals to be scanned (I have a high quality scanner for
those you who don’t have one) and the music you would like to use. I charge ten
dollars per slideshow and an additional five dollars for slideshows longer than 30 minutes.
The slideshows will work on computers or DVD players. Some of the profits will
go towards Toys for Tots and Samaritans Purse by Franklin Graham. Contact...
ediep replied: How about......
Looking for the perfect gift? How about a photo slideshow that shows your memories in the most unique way!
Husbands, if you have an upcoming anniversary, why don't you express your love by creating a slideshow of your life together. Special birthday coming up?
We could make a photo slideshow of your family. Christmas is just a couple
months away, what a great gift for parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and your
spouse. It’s timeless gift for those you love.
All you do is provide the pictures (on C.D or originals) and the music. We use a high quality scanner. The price is ten dollars per slideshow with an additional five dollars for slideshows longer than 30 minutes.
The slideshows will work on computers and/or DVD players. Some of the profits will go towards Toys for Tots and Samaritans Purse by Franklin Graham. Contact...
I made some changes, I hope I didn't step on any toes here!! Great Idea Jessy!!!
Alice replied: HI! My two cents:
Why not have a stock of music you can provide? I bet that many people are so intimidated by all the choices out there. Maybe you could offer some choices: some classical (The Four Seasons by Vivaldi) some Gershwin --Rhapsody in Blue, some classics--Daddy's little Girl, We are Family... I know nothing about downloading, but I bet you could pay a minimal amount and get a ton of stuff. That might make the process a bit easier.
3_call_me_mama replied: Sounds good I would suggest:
Looking for the perfect gift? How about a photo slideshow that shows your memories in the most unique way! Why not express your love by creating a slideshow of your life together. Special birthday coming up? Anniversary? Wedding? Order a photo slideshow of your family and that special someone. Christmas is just around the corner, what a great gift for parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and your spouse. It’s a timeless gift for those you love.
You provide the pictures (on C.D or originals) and your choice of music. High quality scanner provided to transfer originals to disk. A 30 minute show is just $10! Longer shows available for $5 extra. Your show will be available for viewing on computers and/or DVD players. A portion of the proceeds go to Toys for Tots and Samaritans Purse by Franklin Graham to help those in need this Christmas season. Contact...
ALSO JUST A THOUGHT>
You could offer to sell them additional copies of the same show for a fee, say $5 each additional copy, so they could use it for multiple gifts.
MM'sMama replied: Hey that is a really really wonderful idea good luck let us know how it goes. You have such a big heart that is really a great idea  .
A&A'smommy replied: You guys are SO great!! Ya'll are a huge help!! THANKS SO MUCH!!
JessC replied: I think it sounds perfect to me, i like the way brianne put the first line.
Dont worry, about not responding, I havent either I have been working SOO much! 
|
