I must say it worked - Ferber - please keep it friendly

My2Beauties wrote: Well as almost all of you know by now with Aubrey being sick we've had some major sleeping issues to the point where Brian and I are so exhausted we can barely keep our eyes open.To top it off the sitter said that yesterday she would not stop screaming all day long until someone picked her up and held her. I have a habit of holding her alot at home because I'm jsut used to it and she does whine sometimes when I put her down, I just pick her up so I've evidently created a monster. She said I have no problem with you holding and comforting her she said but with 2 of us here and 9 kids, 3 of them babies under 6 months we can't hold her all the time, so she needs to learn to self-soothe. She said that I need to try some self-soothing methods with her at home, because nighttime sleeping and self-soothing starts it all off, thens he can self-soothe for naps etc. She said she catnaps all day, 10-20 minutes at a time and that's it tops, unless someone holds her the entire time (which I know to be true because on the weekends she hardly ever naps unless I'm holding her, you just can't lay her down). So I did some thinking and I've already established a nighttime ritual with her, now the only extra step is I've been giving her some baby food before bedtime. So I decided to do it and see what happens. I tried the Ferber Method to see if it helped her soothe herself. You guys it did wonders. The Ferber method is agentler method to CIO. You put the child in bed when they show signs of sleepiness, she was wayyyy tired. So when she showed signs, I laid her in her bassinette, played some soft music and gave her a kiss goodnight. I waited 5 minutes, she didn't cry. After 5 minutes I checked on her and covered her back up where she had kicked the covers out from underneath of her, she was just looking around. I said Goodnight and left the room, this time I had to wait 10 minutes. After about 6 minutes, she started to fuss. I waited the whole 10 minutes, went back in there, gave her her paci back and covered her up snug again, patted her on the butt for about 20-25 seconds and told her I loved her. I left the room. This time I had to wait 15 minutes. You go in 5 minute increments every time. As soon as I left the room she started crying. I thought to myself I cna't do this I cannot listen to her cry. I stuck to my guns as long as I didn't hear her choking or coughing horribly. After like 2 more minutes her cries got fainter and fainter and turned into little fusses and within 8 more minutes she was sound asleep!!!! OMG she actually soothed herself to sleep, no paci, no nothing. It was wonderful. She slept 10x better last night than she has in over a month. She didn't wake up until nearly 4:00 this morning, she fell asleep at a little after 9:00, that's almost 7 hours, no noise no wanting her paci nothing. She woke up fussed for a few minutes, didn't go back to sleep on her own so I gave her a bottle of formula (no water now, because after reading up on it I realize that this will actually help her get back to sleep easier) and when she was finished she acted like she was dozing off. I immediately picked her up set her in her bassinette and she went back to sleep all by herself and slept until 7:30 this morning. Whew I got some much needed rest.

You guys know I've always been an avid Non-CIO person but with her not soothing herself and not being able to nap or sleep at night, she was getting so cranky and irritable and frankly it was making life hard at home. I could hardly put her down for a few minutes to play at all by herself. I know she's been sick and I've been babying her, but with the allergy meds she was given I actually see a change even already and she seems better and I know that she's gotten used to us holding her now and I had to do something to get her out of that mode. I hate to hear her fussing, but she was actually not that bad. Now had the method taken an hour, I don't know if I could have handled it. But, I never though that I'd change my mind about this but I can't believe that it worked so well and you guys she was sooooooooooo happy this morning and you could just tell she was rested. I just wanted to put this out there as an avid no CIO person that the Ferber method is gentler and that it really can work if people are having problems. I hope it continues to work each night and that she is able to soothe herself to sleep.

I jsut wanted to post this so that others could read about my experience and about how I was so against this in the first place and I never did it with Hanna, I had sleep issues with her until she was 18 months old. So this time around I had to make a change. Now maybe we can all get the we need.

HuskerMom replied: That's great! I hope you all get some much needed rest!

PrairieMom replied: Good for you. Its not for everyone, But you have to do what is best for your family. We did CIO with both ours too. Isn't that first night of sleep a wonderful?

lovemy2 replied: I did the same thing with Dylan - it worked wonders and he is a FABULOUS sleeper now

A&A'smommy replied: Honey you did what was best for your family, and it sounds like it worked really well for you and her!!! I'm glad you guys got some sleep I know you have been SO exhausted!!

gr33n3y3z replied: I'm glad for you and your dh's sanity

moped replied:

Boo&BugsMom replied: I'm so glad you found something that worked well for her! And I must say I think it is great you were willing to work with her daycare/sitter on that one too. Some parents don't, and it makes the situation worse for the child when they are with them. It is so hard to deal with that when you have so many other kids. I know how it is to always want to hold them though. I live for those snuggles.

This is also more or less what we do with Aiden. He lays there and plays for a bit, then cries, I go in and give him his paci, he spits it out, cries for a few minutes, give him him paci again, then he eventually falls alseep.

I hope this continues to work for you!

MommyToAshley replied: I am glad you found something that works. Although I could never bring myself to do CIO, I would never pass judgement. It seems to work for a lot of people.

I hope you all get some needed sleep.

boyohboyohboy replied: and at what age do most of these methods suggest starting?

My2Beauties replied:
I've heard as early as 4 months old. Aubrey will be 6 months in a few weeks. Also, if the child is smaller, doesn't weight at least 13 pounds, I've heard it's not a good idea neither. Jen (Moped) knows the weights, I've e-mailed her about it before to ask questions because I considered it, but that was months ago and I just now came around to doing it for fear of failing, but it worked so well.

Boo&BugsMom replied: Aiden is 6 months and we have been doing that for a good month or so.

PrairieMom replied: I did Al at 11 months, she was about 17 pounds at the time. Actual bed time wasn't a problem for us, it was the 1 am and 3 am scream fests that we got rid of.

moped replied: Did any of the night time screaming wake up the older child?????

PrairieMom replied:
For us, it didn't. Thank goodness. Ben sleeps downstairs tho.

moped replied: I am curious about that - maybe start a spin off

luvmykids replied: Congrats! I'm not a hard core fan of any one method but do believe it's important to teach them how to fall asleep, for their own sake as much as yours. Enjoy your !

My2Beauties replied:
Me neither I believe different techniques work with different children, but I was against letting my own child CIO for a long time, well for almost 4 years now since I never let Hanna, but like I said we had issues until she was over 18 months old with sleeping and never got it worked out until one day she finally just got it and still to this day sometimes she'll wake up. But she does fall asleep on her own and sleep all night 95% of the time. I can't deal going through that for another year and a half again, Aubrey is worse at this point then Hanna was at nearly 6 months of age, so I had to do something drastic. So, I tried it and it worked very well. I'm no fan of any one thing either though, I think some children respond to other methods better.

kimberley replied: good for you, Leanne. most of my parenting style is AP but altered to each child's needs. Jade was clingy too and i reached the same point as you with trying CIO with much the same results. to be honest, she actually slept better and longer on her own than with me. whatever works

Cece00 replied: We did a modified CIO with my last 3 kids and they are WONDERFUL sleepers & have been since early on. I didnt do it with my oldest, he was a TERRIBLE sleeper until he was like 1.5. It doesnt work for everyone, but I think it can be a good method.

Calimama replied: I'm glad it's working so well for you!