I just found 2 of hubby's personal ads - Do I bust him? Or play with his mind?

KaitNseansMom wrote: Last night I opened the bedrooom door to get something from the fridge. I saw my DH close the computer screen fast. He is always on the computer, and doesn't ever care if I see what he is writing. So when I got up to feed the baby @ 5:30am, I decided to do some detective work. I found 2 ads he set up within the last couple days. One said he is in an OPEN relationship. The other said he was single.

I am 7 months pregnant with our 2nd child. I understand I am not desireable right now. Of course my butt has gotten bigger, but I have only gained 20lbs. Plus I am always willing to have sex. Actually my pregnancy makes me a horn-ball! But we rarely "take care of buisness" together. My current lover lives in the drawer . I am ready to just kick him out, but I thought I could have some fun first. I posed as a fake response to one of his ads. I am curious to see what he says. I might lead him on as "Susie" for a week or so & see what he says about why he is looking for sex.

So what do you think? Do I bust him, or play his game? I know I am going to give him attitude when he gets up. I don't want him to know I know yet. I want to confront him & let out my anger, but I dunno. So what do you guys think? Unless I get a free have fun pass too. But I won't stoop to that level. I have always prided myself on being faithful. Even to my abusive ex-husband I was faithful. I still can't believe it.

~ Amy

Hillbilly Housewife replied: I say play his game, AND bust him.

Set up a fake date... and meet him as "Susie"... see his reaction... and give him the "boot".

KaitNseansMom replied: My thoughts EXACTLY!!!

ZandersMama replied: I would break the computer over his head but alot of that may be horemones talking. Get the date and meet him there, see what happen. Then kick his butt out.

Boo&BugsMom replied: LEAVE HIM! LEAVE HIM NOW! Doing what he did is no different than cheating in my opinion. Please don't be one of those who will let him yank your chain and make your life hell. Be smarter than that, especially since you have children involved.

msoulz replied:
Ditto. Leave with your dignity and be thankful you found out now. Don't stoop to his level. My guess is that if you confront him he will twist it around to say that he was just curious, was testing you, etc. GET OUT.

BTW, I am very sorry you have to go through this. I hope you have some supportive friends and/or family.

Kirstenmumof3 replied:
I completely agree! When DH and I had sepreated and I didn't think there was any chance of us reconciling I did post personal ads. But since we've reconciled I've deleted my account. Please don't let yourself get conned! If he's cheating online, than who knows what else he is doing!

mckayleesmom replied: Ya....I would play with his head......then set up a date with Susie and when he shows up....there you sit with divorce papers....

I would also cut the cord to the computer.....

cameragirl21 replied: Wow, what an awful situation.
I've learned from recent experience that it's very hard to say what anyone would do until they're in that situation, so I'm afraid I don't have any advice.
Just wanted to say that I'm sorry you're going through this.

moped replied: I would play and then dump - but thats just me!

C&K*s Mommie replied: I am sorry to hear that you are going through this, only you can make the decision as to what to do as far as leaving or staying. But I wish you well in whatever decision you decide to make.

Sorry that your intro to this board, had to be for such a sad topic, but I wanted to extend a welcome to you.

DillsMommy replied: I wouldn't say anything just yet. Play along for a week or so and see what happens and act normal like you have no clue. Set up the fake date to see if he would actually go through with it. Then BUST him and leave. Thats just what I would do. So sorry you have to go through this. My DH actually did this too, but for different reasons. Because I was snooping on him, so he made fake accounts to get back at me. Long story. So make sure this isn't the case for you.

C&K*s Mommie replied: Oh and depending on what kind of past he has with this issue, is this a first? or has it been suspected for awhile? , etc. If this is a first I would confront him straight out. If he has a history of this, I would play the game.

mom2my2cuties replied: Well - hmm - that is a tough place to be.


But I honestly think if you are leaving - I wouldn't play with him. While it may seem GREAT now - it wont be in the long run. Revenge is sweet - but only for a little while.

If you don't want to leave. I would say confront him - make it VERY clear you do not approve, that he IS NOT single NOR is he in an open marriage. And make your expectations of him very clear to him.

kit_kats_mom replied: Wow. you guys are way nicer than me. I'd find someone with an STD (not a "killer permanent one" just something that would make him uncomfortable for awhile) and pay her to respond to his ad, sleep with him and pass it on. Then I'd leave his butt.

Ok...maybe I wouldn't really go though with something like that but it's fun to think about.

hawkshoe replied: I can't tell you what to do, but I can say that he is a complete @$$. If he is posting those ads then he is up to no good. You need to decide if this indescretion is something you can forgive or not. If you still want to work it out then suggest therapy. If not, then send him packing.

CantWait replied: Play with him, set up a date and serve him. What a jack***. Hormones or not, you're not being insensitive. Sorry.

holley79 replied: I'm with everyone else here. Play the game then bust him. After you bust him then it's totally up to you what decision you make in ref to your relationship.

J-rod replied: leave him now....if he hasnt cheated yet....he will as he is trying to already.
save yourself the bight fight once you "caught him" and save the heartache, and embarresment.


think of yourself and the kids.

MyBrownEyedBoy replied: If I caught Aaron doing this now, I'd pack his stuff, put it on the back porch and change the locks. No playing for me, he knows my stand on this. Once bitten, twice shy.

boyohboyohboy replied: I am so sorry this is happening to you. I dont think I would play games with this, it is so serious. I think I think I would confront him right away, and get out now.

BabyOwen427 replied: I like the STD idea, but I don't think I could ever go through with it.
I would probably set up the date and confront him, I would also print off all of our conversations so that when we did meet he wouldn't be able to say "I never said that" because you would have it on paper for proof. Then after you showed him the conversations pull out the divorce papers. Cheating is really unforgiveable.
Good luck.

Heather77 replied: Wow, I'm sorry you are having to deal with this... and NOW of all times!

I'm not sure what exactly I'd do, but I hope everything works out for you.... whether it be with him or not.

gr33n3y3z replied: heck with playing
Toss everything he owns on the FRONT lawn for all to see
and like someone else said and have the locks changed.

Good Luck

Boo&BugsMom replied:
I like Lisa's way of thinking!

Forgot to mention before, sorry this is happening though. Stay strong!

Crystalina replied: What a shmuck! I would meet him as Susie for sure. If you confront him then he will find some way to lie. He may say it's an old account and he only checks the status on it for curiousitys sake (which would explain his "last logged in @ date"). He will find some way to make it a "misunderstanding". If you meet him as Susie though how is he goint to explain that one? Then you would know for sure that he's a lying, cheating, no good SOB. He wouldn't be able to deny that he showed up. Then you will have your answer and then you can dump his sorry @ss. Take a friend if you do meet him and do it in a public place. For one so you have a witness and 2, so there is not a big scene.

Good luck with this and we hope to get a follow up on this and your little ones.