I have to go back to work... - Financial situation is pretty bad here:(
ashtonsmama wrote: Ryan and I have been talking lately about financial "state" and it really isn't good. It's become so stressful, and now that we're going to have a whole new person to care for, feed, clothe, etc. it's only going to get tighter. We both wanted to have me stay at home with the kids as long as I could, hoping for 2 years or more, but it looks like we're so far into debt now and will just keep going downhill, that I'm going to have to get a steady job here very very soon. Probably right after we get back from Italy. And I need to decide what job to go with, because I have about 3 options that I'm weighing out: doing childcare in my home (not daycare but just babysitting my neighbor's 4 kids while she's at work), going back to my PR management job, which pays more, or starting up nannying again, which also pays pretty well, I already have a family I've been talking to for a couple months, but that would entail more than just keeping kids at the house, I'd need to drive them to school, play dates, classes, the park, etc. There are 3 of them, 2 girls and a boy, and they seem like really sweet kids, a little bratty, but overall good kids. They're 9, 7 & 5 or 6 I think, I can't quite remember. But that and the PR job would pay the best, with the nanny position paying only a little less than the firm job.
So I need to make a big decision here. Should I take the job that pays the most, and have to put Ashton (& Savannah) in daycare? Or take the nanny job, which would allow me to keep the kids with me, but have to take them everywhere with the kids I'd be nannying for...OR should I just take my neighbor's kids and watch them at my house, not have to do so much driving, and probably have less stress, but get payed less?
I'm really at a loss here, and my pregnancy hormones aren't helping either. I really really wanted to be a SAHM for as long as possible, and having to think about working again so soon is really hard for me for some reason. I'd be working right up until I had Savannah, and then going back to work again probably 6 weeks or so after she arrived...I just cherish those precious early months so much, and I can't stand the thought of missing my baby girl's first few months at home, I'd miss so much of the things I got to see with Ashton...
This is way more stressful than I thought it would be.
Sorry to 
I just need to decide, and get going on paperwork, and paying off some bills here. We're behind a couple months on some of them, and it's really embarassing, I prided myself on always paying early or right on time before the last couple of months...
Maybe I'll take a poll and see what you all think I should do. I need any advice or help I can get right now. Sorry to be such a mess.
And sorry for the long post.
I'm so stressed right now it's making my stomach cramp up...
Kaitlin'smom replied: Well you have at lot to consider. What I woudl do is get it all out on paper you 3 options and see what fits best.
1) PR-about how much it would pay and how much in childcare you would be spending and any other additional cost.
2) nanny-about how much you would be paied, dont forget to think about gas cost, food...ect
3) watching kids in home again how much woudl you make, and list of expensise.
she which option would help in bills the most. You mgiht be suprised what you find.
good luck
Mommy2Isabella replied: I sent you a PM on my thoughts ... 
ashtonsmama replied: Thank you so much Di and Jess. Jess, the PM meant alot. And Di, I have been doing some of that already, getting the figures and expenses down on paper does help. Thanks for the ideas...
For the nanny job, they would be paying for all of the gas expenses (which would be a great help) and also for the kids food, etc. So I wouldn't have to worry about that, it would pretty much just be the pay from them coming in, and not much going out.
The in home childcare would cost a little for supplies for crafts, keeping the kids busy, etc. Her 4 are 6, 5, 3 & 8 months, so they're a little younger still.
Anyways. It's just a ton to think about. And the PR job pays really well, especially because I've worked there before and have the experience and job connections there, I'm glad I've kept up relationships with the people there, that certainly plays to my advantage.
luvmykids replied: I'm sorry, personally I think financial stress is one of the worst there is. I'm not sure what I would do if I were you, a part of me thinks I'd do the least possible and still be able to help the money situation, which to me sounds like the babysitting deal.
Best wishes for whatever you decide and prayers and thoughts while you make this decision.
I just saw your last post, the ages of her children sound so young to have to take care of with your two being so young also. So I don't know, I'm no help, just a shoulder!
ashtonsmama replied:
Thank you Monica. It does help, just to hear what everyone thinks about each option, etc. So thank you.
C&K*s Mommie replied: One simple question for both the nanny position, and the possible baby sitting job. Would you have a van to load all the children up in to transport?
ashtonsmama replied:
Good question. Our car already only holds 5, but we were wondering about having to trade in our car anyways for a Toyota Sienna or something similar...so that's kind of separate, but it would save us money, this thing is a gas guzzler and expensive, it's an '05 so it would resale pretty well. In great condition.
C&K*s Mommie replied: If you upgraded to a Sienna (btw I love those!), then have you factored in the cost of the insurance, and car payments? Would that put you even more upside down compared to now? Still more going out than there is coming in. Both are questions that need not have answers posted, I am not trying to pry into your personal business, but that was an initial thought I had.
Boo&BugsMom replied: ashtonsmama, I do licensed daycare out of my home. I know that isn't what you were talking about, but if you have any questions about it, feel free to ask me. Personally for me, it has been stressful, but very rewarding. I save on daycare expenses, which is A LOT of $$$, and I am also with my child which is worth more than the biggest salary. I guess you have to wiegh out your options and do what you think is best for your family. As far as the van/car goes, if you do daycare/babysitting, nobody says you "have" to transport anywhere (just keep that in mind)...I don't, except for a day like today where I only have my son and one other child whom I am very close to. On a regular basis, I NEVER transport...too risky.
Good luck, and I am sure whatever decision you make will be the best one! 
MyBrownEyedBoy replied: I really think that you've received some great advice from others here. The pro and con list is a very important one.
Now here is my only imput. I know how precious those first few months are. But I went back to work 6 weeks after Logan was born and 5 weeks after his first heart intervention. Insurance benefits were paramount to me. Maybe not so for you, I certainly would never wish a chronic condition on any person. All I can say is that it will be hard, but it's not the end of the world. Anyone who makes you feel badly for having to work is just ignorant. Ignore them. As I said, I went back to work 6 weeks post partum. And in those 6 weeks our finances took a major crash. Granted, we had some huge medical expenses, but we are just now digging out nearly 2 years later.
Hugs to you, Amanda. I feel for you, but try not to beat yourself up.
Halo42101 replied: Oh, I am sorry you have so much stress of late, Amanda. I pray that God gives you the wisdom you need in order to make the right decision for you and your family. I know that He will. If it helps, spend some time with God and see what answer He gives you.
AlexsPajamaMama replied:
I agree with Monica 100%
The pros and cons list is a good idea, everyone has given great input...
If the babysitting for your neighbor would help out with bills enough, I would go with that. You are still home with your two and get some money coming in.
I know where you are coming from saying that you enjoy the early monthes....but Savannah will not know the differance, and she will benefit from it more if Mommy and Daddy are not stressed about money and there is money to pay the bills...kwim. A Million hugs for you right now during this stressful time, we have btdt too sweety.
I will be keeping you and your little family in my thoughts 
Hillbilly Housewife replied: With home daycare expenses... you get a lot of deductibles. I get a % of my rent deducted, a % of my heating, water, etc... % of my food, toys... it works for me
mummy2girls replied: k my 2cents... I would do the inhome babysitting over the nannying! If you dont want to do childcare then the pr... I myself love beign a nanny but its alot more stressful . because if your job means you have to have a vehicle what if your vehicle breaks down? or your chiold gets sick? plus having to pack them up into the vehicles and such is a pian expecially if you have 5 kids...LOL..and having a newborn... even more difficult. . in home you stay at home. you dotn have to woprry about car crap! yes you have to pay for food and crafts and such but all that is deductible. And you can right off some of your rent, utilities etc etc etc... That is some of the reasons i have given up being a nanny and decided to do a dayhome...
Jackie012007 replied: the nanny position or the in home child care sounds like the best bet... that way you can still be with your kids! The only thing to consider is, I'm not sure where you live, but here in NY if you aren't licensed and you are either babysitting over I think 2 or 3 kids, or if you are babysitting kids that are not related to you, and you don't claim your earnings, you can get in lots of trouble if for some reason you are caught (if you are audited etc). So that is something to consider ... but those seem like the best options IMO!
siblingtooolivia replied: A hard decision to make for you Amanda. I am sorry to hear it, but my only suggestion is that you figure out exactly how much money you need to make to take the pressure off of you and Ryan financially. Money can be a major source of marital discord and can be very uncomfortable when it gets bad.....as for having to possibly leave the kids to work, believe me, it isn't easy, I went back to work at 8 weeks but I have always been lucky and had VERY good daycare, a close friend when Olivia was little and now an excellent preschool and this new baby will be home with my mom until he/she is 8 months old. My point is, my child is very happy, very adjusted and an all around very well rounded child....child care isn't a bad thing if its good child care...yes it is tough to miss those milestones, etc. but sometimes you have to do what you have to do KWIM?
Good luck with what you decide but just remember, money is a powerful thing adn while I am sure you are not looking to have millions and live a lavish lifestyle, when you are struggling and not keeping your head above water, it can be very damaging to your marriage and two unhappy parents does not a happy home make to raise children.
I hope you figure out things soon and can find some peace in your decisions.....
Brias3 replied: First off, to you. I can only imagine the stress you're both going through right now. To look on the bright side, it sounds like you have three very workable options. My first reaction regarding returning to the PR job would be that you would have to weigh daycare expenses for two children (often higher the younger they are, which would be your case) into your income, which you may find to be more detrimental than just staying home in the first place. Watching the kids in your home would be ideal, yet with their ages plus your own two, that might get overly stressful as a full-time thing. Nannying would allow you to not miss out on anything with your own kids, get out of the house a little, and oversee kids who are a little more self-sufficient. Sounds like the costs they would cover would allow you to have plenty of intake and little output too. So in other words, I guess I'm leaning towards nannying.
Give it some thought, write down the pros and cons on paper. Whatever you decide, much luck to you! I know its a stressful time right now- plus, you're pregnant AND raising an infant- I can't imagine how you're holding up as well as you are! I'm here ANYTIME you need advice or just an ear.
holley79 replied:
I was thinking the same thing.
Sorry things aren't exactly how you wanted them to be. It is a pain.
youngmomofone replied: I personally would do home daycare. Save you money and you will be able to contribute and still be home for your kiddos.
ashtonsmama replied:
Thank you Nic. I do very much appreciate just the fact that you're helping me sort through all of it, the questions, however rhetorical, definitely bring things up when I forget them! So thank you...
ashtonsmama replied:
Thank you for the info, Jennie.
ashtonsmama replied:
Thank you so much Kelly.
That all makes perfect sense to me, and I need the reminder that it is OK to change my plans if necessary on working, etc.
And thank you so much to all of you for weighing in with support and thoughts on it all, it really helps to read your responses and see the different aspects of them all...
Thank you!!!
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