I have a question

Boys r us wrote: and PLEASE no one take this the wrong way, b/c I truly do not mean ANY malice by asking...just 100% curiosity!

For those of you who are SAHM how do you work things like buying xmas gifts for DH or Birthday gifts?

Do you have a set amount of money that is "yours" to spend each month or does the money earned just go into one checking account and you each use it? If so, how do you buy things without your DH knowing what you've bought or spent?

kimberley replied: we have separate accounts and i do have some income from child support and baby bonus so DH would never know.

ammommy replied:
Well, DH is clueless when it comes to finances Before I realized that he didn't pay attention to the details of the account, I would save $$ every month so that I could pay cash for his gifts.

MommyToAshley replied: DH and I share everything equally. In the very beginning, we had separate accounts but it was more a hassle transferring money between the two accounts so we combined the accounts. DH never questions what I buy, and vice versa. So, he may see a charge from a certain store, but not know the details of what it is. We really don't buy huge presents for each other at Christmas and other holidays. If we need/want something throughout the year then we just go get it. We mostly spend on Ashley for Christmas.

sunshine girls replied: We have two seperate bank accounts, he has his and I have mine. He puts money in mine sometimes, but I have money in there from trust funds and when I worked. I don't use it very much, at Christmas and if I want something expensive for myself. Otherwise I use the credit card and when the bill comes we pay from his account.

It's kind of a shotty deal for James

PrairieMom replied: I am the CFO of my household. He has no clue what I spend the money on. As long as the bills are getting payed, and we have the things we need he is happy. I have HIM on an allowance!

punkeemunkee'smom replied: Dh has NO CLUE about the check book,so it is pretty easy to sneak gifts for him in-I use $$$ I earn from my craft stuff to buy him gifts or at least to supplement-but I guess in the end sometimes he buys it for himself I just pick it out! He always makes me feel like I did it all on my own though!

mckayleesmom replied: Me and dh share everything. We always joke that he buys his birthday and xmas gifts... I just take the money out in cash or set it aside little by little leading up to the months. ALot of times we will just buy something jointly as a gift. Really it is both our money even thought the check comes in his name. If he had to pay me for child care he would be broke right?

Debra replied: We share all money & it goes into one account. As far as gifts go, we really don't buy each other anything. But when we do, we use the credit cards & then pay it off with the next paycheck. When we did buy Christmas gifts for each other, we would have a set amount that we budgeted & we'd go with that.

Sarah&Mackenzie replied: I take care of all the finances. I have the checkbook and savings book and pay all the bills. Every Friday he gives me his check, tells me how much he wants out and the rest goes in the bank. Before we joined accounts he had never and I mean never balanced his checkbook. That drove me crazy!! So we just decided I would do all of the finance stuff. Don't get me wrong he knows the balances because he asks and we never buy expensive stuff before talking to each other about it (example his skidloader) Anyway we really don't buy expensive gifts for each other, I usually buy him jeans for x-mas. Sorry for all the

TANNER'S MOM replied: I just wanted to tell you guys.. That I work as does My DH.. and believe I think I have bought my own gifts too. It seems that on my Bday he is always broke.. and I throw and extra $50.00 in the account.. and when he says how much extra do we have I say I don't know around $50.00 lol And that comes for alot of reasons.. I plan out gifts and think way ahead.. and he runs to the store the night before or the day of..lolol With no fore thougth.. can you tell I am bitter..lololol

And you are right .... it is totally both your money. It takes you both to run your house. LOL..

coasterqueen replied: Well I probably shouldn't answer this since I WOH and this is for SAHM's but . Dh and I both work and we have a joint checking. We tried the seperate thing and hated it. We never really buy anything for each other for Christmas, we just always get what we need throughout the year. We don't have extra money for buying things we "want" so it's not an issue. This will be the first year the girls buy each of us something and we just set an amount and give each other the cash to take them shopping. Hmm, I wonder how Dh is gonna take the girls shopping for me when he won't be home until Christmas. Better figure that one out.

mom21kid2dogs replied: Although all our accounts are joint, I hate to "ask" my husband for money. This is not his issue~it's mine. I had my own income from age 10 to age 42 and never asked for a dime from anyone. He's always saying "Do you need some money?" Currently, I'm withdrawing a monthly amount from my deferred compensation fund to have some cash. Everything I make off EBay is mine as well.

Boys r us replied: Well, that's okay Karen..your situation applies to the question as well.

Maybe I'm the one with the oddball situation..my DH and I do have a joint account, but we also each have our own checking accounts as well. So anytime that I buy him something, I buy it from my account and the same with him. Not b/c I want to buy it with "my money" verses "his" money b/c in the end, it's all the same, our money...but more so that so he doesn't ask me where $300 went or what I bought at Dick's sporting goods or Best buy!

A&A'smommy replied: Totally understandable question definitly NOT offensive. To me I felt like I worked just as hard as him just in a different way so I felt like if I wanted to spend money on something needed or something sweet for Jeremiah then I had a right too LOL. Things are a LOT different now and quite frankly MUCH better for us I liked being a SAHM but I really don't think it is MY THING KWIM.. oops I have said to much! Oh yeah he NEVER questioned how much money I spent still doesn't.. most of the time anyway

TANNER'S MOM replied: Oh I hate for Randy to see what I got him too.lol But he does every now and then..

And to be honest I always see what he gets me.. unless it;s like an everyday charge like Wal Mart.. but like flowers, and a lingerie store in town.. I have noticed those on online banking before he ever was close to sending me the gifts.

coasterqueen replied:
No I totally understand. What we do in situations like that (birthdays, etc) we just take out cash and do all our shopping in cash so each other don't know where the other one went, etc.

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: One portion of DH's paycheck goes into a joint checking account. The other into a different checking account in which DHs pays bills from. And I think he puts another portion in savings or in Wil's trust or some other form of investment thingy. I'm clueless about finances, but I know DH plays around with stocks. So for the joint account, we both know exactly how much is in there at all times and it's free for both of us to take what we need. Since I do most of the grocery shopping, I take cash out of this account and budget it so that I can spread it out over two weeks. This is also the account we use for gifts, going out to dinner, Sam's club, etc. So yes, this is where I get money to buy DH gifts. The only way he would know is if I wrote a check or used the debit card and the store name showed up on the statement. So I try and use cash as much as possible. Or sometimes, if it's something fairly big, we will use our Visa to get the miles, but rarely does that happen because we hate carrying debt!

gr33n3y3z replied:
This is Ed and I also

But Christmas is for the kids We just buy a few things for each other

3_call_me_mama replied:
DITTO! If he hasd to pay me for childcare he would have to quit his job (J/K) btu it wuld cast him A lOT! Also I watch a littel girl at eh house do mystery shoppign adn auditing adn that money goes into our account too and i just spend what i want and as long as there's money to pay the bills he doesn't care or ask. Large purchases we make together, But gifts for himslef..round about way I pay for them but by the time i buy them "my" money is long spent so it comes out of the general fund;)

~Roo'sMama~ replied: I usually either write a check instead of using the card, and then don't write where it was to in the register until after I've given him his gift, or I just get cash out of the ATM.

It would be kind of nice to have my own money for that kind of thing - I never know how much I can spend because we never have much extra money. I hate having to ask how much I can spend on him.

But when I did work we had a joint account then too so it was the same thing - only then we had a little bit more.

My3LilMonkeys replied: Well DH and I both work and have joint checking. I budget everything and manage all the finances so he he never has a clue what I'm buying him. We agree on a budget for each other together and he gets cash to buy for me.

MM'sMama replied: Well if handling the money was up to Dh I'd be scared reallly scared . So I handle everything in that area. I am SAHM but I do bring in a fair amount every month working a few times a month in my dads office...filing, organization, new patient data and such. So it tends to work well.

Our Lil' Family replied: We have a joint checking account but I handle it. It stays home in a drawer though so he can always look at it. We each have a dividends credit card that we use for EVERYTHING and payoff at the end of each month, so that's how we buy for each other. He rarely looks at my statement and he never buys for me far enough in advance to where I'd see it on the statement first!

5littleladies replied: We usually don't buy each other anything anymore-We either buy something big together, or just don't buy anything. When we did buy for each other we would just set a limit. If we were to starty buying for each other again I'm sure that's what we would do again.

holley79 replied: I'm not a SAHM and we have seperate accounts. There are times though, because DH makes more then I do, that I have to "tap" into his account. He never questions it, though I know he knows about it.

Hillbilly Housewife replied: I usually work, but I,m on mat leave, so I guess I,m a sahm for the time being...

we each have our own income and our own checking accounts. We have a joint savings account - the only thing going through the savings account is our loan from the bank - and we each pay that half and half - we put the money in the account, and it gets taken automatically every month by the bank.

We each have our own credit card - as well as a few that are in both our names. I don't reallly care how much he spends, and ditto on him for me, becuase we always make sure we have enough $$ to pay the bills before buying anything else.

We also have a high savings account set up for the kids recently - we have extra income from business profits coming in now - so we save that up as much as we can and don<t touch it unless we're a little low on funds - since it costs us to use the money in there..

ilovemybaby replied: We have seperate accounts and I only have $39.50 in my account each week and I have to use all of it to go towards our grocery shopping so Paul misses out on bday and Christmas presies from me. I have told him I can buy them, if he wants to put more money towards our shopping bill instead of saving it for pointless things we don't need but he obviously doesn't care that much. I don't even have money to spend on myself so when we do have any left over money from the shopping I normally get something we both want like icecream (we don't normally get it) or some kind of junk food. We never have more than about $5-10 spare if anything...

Ginger replied: When its time for gifts we usually just get cash out of the bank and I get money to buy his gifts. I do not work but I do make a little money here and there and it all goes into one account. Cash is how we keep from finding out what the other bought though.