I got my Valentine's Day Present - just a little disappointed

jen wrote: Ok first off I don't want anyone to think I am materialistic because I am not! I promise. My DH and I met for lunch today and he really wanted to give me my Valentine's Day Present and I said NO! Then he kind of panicked and said JENNY I REALLY WANT TO GIVE IT TO YOU! so I said well I don't have yours and he said so WHAT as he dropped a PLAYSTATION 2 game in my lap! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I don't even play video games. The game is Chess which I do play sometimes ONLINE. I just didn't know what to say to how to act, I just smiled and said THANKS! but now that I am back at work I am feeling a little down about it. It wasn't special or anything. AND HE HAD 3 other NEW GAMES he got for himself. I won't even get to play my GAME, if I wanted to!

I remember him asking me what i wanted and I said well just put some thought into it but don't spend a lot of money, maybe some bath stuff or something you know I would like.

Sorry I know I shouldn't care but I put so much thought into what I get him and this is just really not right in my opinion. What would you do, would you say something to him or just forget about it!

DansMom replied: Hmmm... maybe you should wrap it back up and give it to him for his valentines gift?? That would be a bit retaliatory and non-wifely I guess, but I would be tempted, since he obviously got it for himself LOL!!

Or: give him some bath products or something that you know YOU will like and use ...


I would be miffed too. You could also just let it slide and hope for something better next year.

kimberley replied: i would definitely say something, but that is just me. men think that women get just as excited over electronics and accecories as they do but are they ever so wrong. i would prefer some hand picked flowers out of the garden and a homemade card over a bought gift anyday. if you don't think you'll use the game, ask him for the receipt and get yourself something you want. the key to happiness is knowing how to get it on your own JMO.

jen replied:
I totally agree! I was thinking of getting him some bath stuff and some wax and not talk to him until he waxed his legs and bikini zone! But that is a little harsh! haha!

I would let is slide and hope for something better next year but that is what I am doing from Last YEAR! LOL!

kimberley replied:
LOL!! that is a great idea!

jen replied:
I would ask for the receipt for the game and take it back but I think he wants to play the game! LOL! And this wasn't a new game that was $50 dollars it was used and I think was $15 or so! No big deal but worth the price for a game for him to keep and play I guess!

I prefer homemade gifts, or picked flowers over anything as well.!! I am very easy going as long as their is genuine thought put into something. This just really really hurt my feelings!

*i even suggested to him that he go to Walgreens and just get me some girly things like bath and makeup stuff and a card. But I guess that was out of his way.

kit_kats_mom replied: My ex fiancee was like that. He would just not put any thought into gifts. We really got into it a few times and he just didn't understand what the big deal was. When I finally broke it down to him "it's the thought that counts and you obviously did not put much thought into this gift" he understood and did much better the next few times. I basically told him that it hurt my feelings because if he really knew me, he would know that I didn't want/need car accesories.

jen replied:
I agree about it being the thought that counts! I thought he understood that this time!

Kirstenmumof3 replied: Awwww I'm so sorry your DH did this! I know how disappointed you are! But remember most men are not good at buying gifts! My DH is a perfect example of this and it has taken him 9 years to get things right! Maybe you could talk to him and ask him to take the game back and get you a gift certificate instead!

Kaitlin'smom replied: I sometimes also get dissapointed in the lack of thought into gifts given to me, espically when they want a list and get NOTHING off it... kinda like whay did you want to know what I wanted if you did not care not to at least get something off it or similar to it. This mostly happend with his family for me.

I like the idea of getting him something girly so maybe he will get dissapointed and ask why he got that and tell him well you got me something you wanted so I got you something I wanted. Maybe then he would get the point!

I have already gotten a few things but he has not giving me my big gift from him......I have to be careful and not get my hopes up casue I bet its no where near what I was wanting/thinking. In a way I am scared to find out what it is................I will let you all know. I

jem0622 replied: Doink! Where is the frying pan??!!! Are you kidding me? A chess game for PS 2 and you don't even play it? He put no thought whatsoever into that. I would prefer nothing over something where he just didn't use any sense. Get me a carnation at the grocery store instead! Even that would be sweet and I would enjoy it! Holy cow! Okay....now....I need to calm down. But I'm sorry....I cannot believe that he did that.

I don't care if he would enjoy it. I would take it back, and then I'd promptly go somewhere and spend the same amount on myself doing or getting something that put a smile on my face. Whether it was chocolate, flowers, music, a book, a bottle of shower gel or lotion (or even a set on a good sale)...just something sweet! Man!

So sorry. Men are real idiots sometimes! I told DH I wanted a CD for V Day and I know that is what he got me and I'm fine w/ it.

Julie

jen replied:
Yeah I would tell him to get me a gift certificate but I just feel like FOR ME gift certificates or something my friends could get me, not my husband. My husband knows me well enough to buy me something or make something with some genuine thought not cop out on something he likes or that he will benefit from.

jen replied:
Exactly My thoughts! One of the sad points I will make is one of the only things we fight about is me seeing the back of his head playing that DAMN PLAYSTATION and then he buys me/him a game for it???? WHAT IS THAT!! Is he Trying to convert me to the other side?? I dont' understand this! I wish I did! I would have loved a carnation or any flower, even a macaroni necklace! I guess it hurts me more because I am pregnant and I thought he would make something special during this special time in our life, but I was wrong!

victoire2002 replied: Yikes! That is a tough one. He gets kudos for getting you a present, and even doing so BEFORE Valentine's Day, but the present was truly not very cool.

If it makes you feel better, I have gotten several "TO YOU, ER, I MEAN ME, LOVE, ME" presents since marrying DH.

If I were you, I'd get the receipt and go out and get something you like. If you explain to him nicely that you appreciate his thinking of you, but you prefer something else because you don't want to waste $$$$ on something you won't use, he'll get the message. Nowadays, I point out things I like all year long, reminding DH of these things periodically. It makes getting presents un-spontaneous and boring, but at least I get something I like.

I don't attach a lot of meaning to V-Day. All I expect is flowers, card and a special evening (we usually get take out Indian or Vietnamese food) together. Though, I even had to teach him re: flowers. He kept buying me CARNATIONS (read: cheap man's flower) and I have, over the years, taught him to get me a beautiful bouquet from a local florist shop. (He used to pick up flowers at grocery store on way home from work)

HTH, and enjoy the rest of your V-Day weekend. Maybe you can buy yourself a pedicure or massage and treat yourself!

Vicki

jdkjd replied:

I would just tell him that. And add some of Cary's suggestions...

Sidenote: I told my DH about your post and he just went "Oooo. He's in trouble."

jen replied:
Thanks!!! Too funny about your DH!!! Maybe that gave him some incentive to go shopping! LOL!

jdkjd replied:
I think he was en route...

jen replied:
Thanks! I think I will have a little talk with him when I get home from work! About thoughtfulness and meaning and how much I hate video games!! LOL!!!

And then I may mention that I would love to see some BLUE ROSES like what Jaime got Kimberley!! I have never seen them and I think they sound beautiful!! I love ROSES and I love the color BLUE!!!

As for the pedicure I have an appointment at 11 a.m. Saturday morning! GREAT IDEA!!! I think I will go ahead and put his credit card on file at the salon I am going to! Just Kidding!!!

Thanks Again!

MomToJade&Jordan replied:
I'm going to agree with Cary here. It is the thought that counts. I'm one of those crazy people who won't buy a gift for someone unless it just screams that person. This thing has to practically jump off the shelf at me. Fortunately my DH has learned this concept and I really didn't have to teach him. He knows what I like and he tries to buy things that don't make me want to bop him. In the case of your DH he bought that gift for you thinking that you would like it, but knew that he would play it even if you didn't. If that had been me I would have said something right there, because DH can tell right off the bat if I don't like something. I think you should say something to him.

kimberley replied: i think they are just white roses died blue. i will post pics on the weekend when DH has more time to upload them. and he got them at our local convenience store so its not like they were expensive. i hope you still have a wonderful valentine's day since it will be your last one as just two.

jen replied:
being our last valentine's day as just two!!!!!!!!!! I love that!! I can't wait for Maddy to be here!!! The thought of that definitely brightens my day!!!

I would love to see your roses!!!

CantWait replied: Don't feel bad, I don't think it's realistic. it's Valentines Day and I think you just hoping for something a little more ROMANTIC. Maybe he's got a little something something coming on Saturday

Maddie&EthansMom replied:

One of my best friends loves BLUE ROSES!! She has always said the man she marries will bring her blue roses. (she is still single) Maybe there is hope.

A&A'smommy replied: ugh im sorry!!! i dont know what i would do! but im sure i might be about to find out!! ((((hugs))))

~CrazieMama~ replied: I say you should make a list of everything you want from Jan to Dec..that way when he wants to get you something for a holiday or b-day or something...there will be a list there for him to have ideas...if he can't get a good idea from the list, then he should just pick you some flowers....Im all for it!!!!

coasterqueen replied: Jen,

He may just be doing that to see you reaction so then you will be REALLY SUPRISED when he gives you a real gift on V-Day. Maybe????? Don't get sad yet


After being with my DH for almost 12 years now and married for almost 7 years I've just decided to stop thinking about it and just be happy he thought about it DH and I are pretty practical anyways. We just don't suprise each other with little gifts because most times we have something we really need to save or buy so.....plus I want my DH to be romantic and suprising on his own, not on a day when society says we should be that way. KWIM?

He may just suprise you