I feel like a horrible person

5littleladies wrote: I am so emotionally unattached to this baby. I really don't believe it is actually happening. I find myself getting frustrated at my morning sickness and headaches and other symptoms because, while they could be because of the baby, they could also just be from the progesterone I'm on and I don't want to be suffering for nothing. I wish I would have seen a heartbeat at my appointment, but am relieved at the same time because if I go in at 8 weeks and there isn't a heartbeat, I won't feel like I've lost as much. I know this all sounds terrible and I feel like I must be a terrible person because of it, but I just can't seem to let myself hope that there will be a baby at the end of this. I can't handle the disappointment again.

coasterqueen replied: Don't feel that way, Jennifer.

I know how you feel, though. I felt that way with Megan. I hate to say that and I look back on it and I feel bad. I have no idea if it was the progesterone, if it was because I couldn't see the heart beat or what - actually I felt that after seeing the heart beat because of all the bleeding I had and the doc making me feel like she wasn't for sure what was going to happen.

Maddie&EthansMom replied:

You are in my prayers, hun.

Boys r us replied: Oh honey, you've been through a lot of saddness surrounding pregnancies. I've been there too! I can tell you that once you get a little further along, these feelings will be replaced with ones that you are more familiar with..the bonding and closeness will come. Every day that passes in this pregnancy is one brick removed from the wall you've built for protection!

Calimama replied:

A&A'smommy replied: Oh Jennifer I'm sorry you are feeling this way!!!

msoulz replied: I hear you - went through it too and refused to get attached just in case. But I was not sick, felt nothing. They say sickness is a good sign, which made me feel even more disconnected. Hang in there - you're NOT a horrible person!!!

gr33n3y3z replied: Awwww Jennifer its normal to feel that way hun its just your defences going up
Everything will be fine I wish you were able to hear the heart beat this time

lovemy2 replied: Its a normal reaction after what you have been through - hang in there

Teesa®© replied: I don't think you're a horrible person, either

Mommy2BAK replied: you are not a horrible person!
I'm sure everything you are feeling is normal.

Kirstenmumof3 replied: I think what you are feeling is only natural! Keeping you in my prayers!

Bamamom replied: What you're feeling is totally normal. Please don't beat yourself up. You'll be in my prayers

Crystalina replied: I'm really sorry you're going through this Jennifer.

MommyToAshley replied: You're not a horrible person. The feelings and fears you are having are only natural. You've been through a lot. I know I was paranoid my entire pregnancy with Ashley.

I will keep you and the baby in my prayers. Hang in there.. waiting for that 8 week check up will probably be the hardest thing.

ZandersMama replied: I'm so sorry you feel this way.

danahas4monkeys replied: Your feelings are totally normal. I had a m/c before we got pg with #3 so when I got pregnant with her I just didn't want to get my hopes up. You are not a horrible person!

kimberley replied: that is very normal. give yourself time. i don't think i really bonded with Jade at all til the last month or so. she was conceived only a few weeks after our loss. you are not horrible, just fearing the worst. take it day by day and we are here to listen.

Sam & Abby's Mom replied: Hang in there. I'm sure as you progress through the pregnancy and you realize things are ok, you'll let your guard down and begin to bond. Heck, you might even bond MORE than you did with the others. I , like the others, think its a normal reaction. I had a miscarriage and an ectopic pregnancy before I had Sammy and I was scared out of my mind when I found out I was pregnant with Sam. I was sure I was going to lose him. But, as time went on I realized he was here to stay.

Good luck and I cant wait until you for your 8 wk checkup!

Cece00 replied: I spent almost 1/2 of my last 2 pregnancies on progesterone, and it didnt make me nauseated, so I bet that is not it. It always just made me REALLY tired. Like pass out tired.

I was emotionally unattached to my last pregnancy in the beginning. I was pregnant & had a 2 month old, I was TIRED, I was freaked out...dont worry, it'll pass.

~Roo'sMama~ replied: you're not a terrible person. I think it's pretty normal to feel the way you do after having a loss- it's just human nature. I know you don't want to feel that way though. I know I've told you before that when I was pregnant with Allie I felt totally unemotional about her. I could have told you how many weeks I should have been along with the baby I lost in a heartbeat, but I had to stop and count to see how many weeks I actually was with Allie. In my case it was partly because I had JUST lost a baby and got pg again so soon, but fear was a big part of it too. It actually took me a few months to feel attached to her at all.

I'm praying for you, and the baby too.

coasterqueen replied:
In all fairness, though, drugs affect people differently so even though it didn't affect you in a certain way does not mean it wouldn't affect someone else.

mummy2girls replied: (((HUGS)))

I felt the same way with Jenna. Because of the situation with Jordan I would not let myself bond with the baby inside me.. i felt bad but i think it was a protection towards myself in why i was doign it... Im sure the baby will be fine and you will have another beautiful healthy baby

5littleladies replied: Thanks everyone. I'm feeling a bit better today. I really appreciate everything everyone has said-it truly does help. I even let myself think ahead to the possibility of this baby ruining my Thanksgiving dinner (Thanksgiving is the 27th, I am due the 26th. That just won't do at all! ), and believe me, that is a big step since I've been pretty much denying the fact that this baby is going to make an appearance at all. I'll just keep taking it one step
(and one brick-thanks Nichole! ) at a time.

mckayleesmom replied: I think its very normal the way you are feeling. You have suffered losses in the past and its only human to disconnect until you feel safe with it.

My2Beauties replied: Hon I think what you are feeling is totall normal. I was freaked with Aubrey because I had had a m/c before her and I kept thinking it was going to happen again....I hated that I felt that way but it's just human natire. Hang in there hon, as your pregnancy progresses these feelings will go away and you'll be standing there with a big huge belly and a beautiful glow

MomToJade&Jordan replied: I so know how you are feeling. I think I was in denial for the first 3 months with Jade because the trouble I had. I was very careful with Jordan as well because of it. You and your little bean and in my thoughts and prayers hun.

Crystalina replied:
I'm so glad to hear your doing better.