I don't know if this is some PPD or what??

TeagansMom609 wrote: When Teagan was born I was on a mission to BF until she was atleast a year old. I BFed her until she was 13 mos. With Matthew I said I wanted to try to BF him even longer but I feel like stopping now for some reason. I don't know why. I just feel like its messy and starting to be a pain in the butt. I hate that I can't go anywhere without him and if I do my boobs feel like they are going to burst. I feel like I have no freedom. I didn't feel like this when I BFed Teagan. I feel so horribly guilty about feeling this way. It really makes me sad. I feel REALLY selfish. (no offense at all to mothers who didnt BF) I just feel like I know its the best thing for him and if I am lucky enough to be able to BF and dont I feel that I would be a horrible selfish mother for not doing it. I was telling a friend from work about it and she says it sounds like I have a little PPD. Do you think so??

luvmykids replied: I don't know if it's PPD or not, but it's understandable. I felt that way too, right around 6 weeks. I hated that people were offering to watch the kids so I could have a minute to myself but I couldn't actually take them up on it unless the timing was just right, and then I'd only get 30 minutes before I was leaking everywhere.

I'm sure the other moms will have some advice, just wanted to give you

coasterqueen replied: Not sure if it's PPD or what. I actually felt completely opposite after Megan was born. With Kylie I was determined more than anything in the world, but it was tiresome. With Megan, boy I almost forget I nurse her all day, lol. It's just like second nature to me anymore. Maybe it's nursing Kylie for 2 years and pumping for 19 months, not sure. I can't even believe I've gone almost a year with her.

As far as feeling like you can't go anywhere. I never felt that way with either girl. If DH and I wanted to go on a date night, take the pump with me and send baby with bottles of ebm. Simple, easy. Taking the pump with me wasn't that bad, really. I usually pumped on the way to where we were going, or took a few minutes to go out to the car to pump whereever we were at, or did it on the way home. I will be honest, though, I rarely went out without my babes, I just took them with me - just nurse them anywhere and everywhere.

Is there a reason why you feel you can't go anywhere? I can't remember how old Matthew is but at 4 to 6 weeks you can intro a bottle and do go whereever.
Also you can take him with you and nurse him whereever, he won't complain.

Maybe if you explained why you feel that way we could help you figure out ways to do the things you want to do.

Kirstenmumof3 replied: It sounds to me like you are just feeling the pressures of having two children. Breastfeeding is a lot of hard work. I know even after working so hard to get Claudia to latch on (it took 3 months), I sometimes felt like she was always attatched to me. I felt like I didn't have a life. These feelings are perfectly normal. You know yourself. Talk to your doctor or find a PPD test online, I used to know a link to one, but unfortunately DH erased all of my PPD and Breastfeeding websites after we seperated. I will search and see if I can find one for you. Give yourself a break! Go out for an hour and pamper yourself or take a nice hot bubble bath! Take care of yourself and don't ever feel guilty for feeling this way!

CAMSMOM1 replied:

ITA, you need to do something for yourself. I remeber getting so stir crazy with Cam. I wasn't working, and that was the 1st time in a long time, that I was home everyday, all day. I needed a break. I felt like a cow that had a leech stuck on me. But after awhile, I got used to it, and things got back to normal. PPD can creep up anytime after birth. For some, it's right away. And other's, it takes awhile to attack. I had the "baby blues" for a few weeks. I was super sensitive, frustrated easily, couldn't sleep but felt tired all the time, I felt like a firecracker ready to burst. What helped me, was when Cameron got on a bottle and I would pump. It gave me that freedom to go out for awhile, and I knew he still had his BM, and he was in good hands with my DH, friends & family. I think I started him on a bottle around 8 weeks. (( I only gave him a bottle when DH would feed him, or when I went out. Otherwise, I strickly breatfeed.)) He only got it every now and then. I didn't feel comfortable BF in public, so it was nice to have the bottle. But they suggest not to introduce a bottle until they are at least 6 wks old. Bringing a pump with you may be frustrating at first, but you get used to it.
I really just think you need so R&R, and get a break. You can't be couped up in your house all day, it'll drive anyone crazy. Ask your Mom, or DH to take over for awhile. Set a day, like Saturday, for you. It'll give you something to look forward to.
I wouldn't give up BF yet. I think if you concentrate on your needs from time to time, and ask for some help, it'll relieve some of that tension.
Hang in there sweetie! Things do get better. Just take it one day at a time. And we're here for you whenever you need to talk.

Ann

Lynda836 replied: I really don't know anything about PPD. But I can totally relate though to the wanting freedom and feeling guilty about stopping breastfeeding.

I first introduced a bottle of expressed br milk at 6 weeks so his Dad could get the opportunity to feed him and Ethan could start getting used to a bottle. It was great. I'd thaw it out in the morning so it would be available. If I happened to go out for a couple of hours it was there for his dad to feed him...if I didn't go out, he'd get it fr his dad at night. Either way, I got a little bit of a break. Sometime I did get full, but I'd just pump and freeze it.

Not to long ago, I started to find it hard to pump enough for one bottle a day. I was getting really stressed and feeling guilty...because I was considering starting formula. I felt guilty because BF was going well, and he didn't need to go on formula, but I wanted the freedom the occasional bottle gave me. I felt so selfish. What I decided to do was mix up one bottle of formula in the morning so it's available and breastfeed the rest of the time. It was a sanity saver...I can go to the gym, me and my DH can leave Ethan with a babysitter...and I'm not worried about pumping in advance or stressed about stepping out for a bit without him.

It was such a stressful decision though. You hear so much re breast is best and doing it for as long as possible. Also I didn't know anyone who did both bf and formula. The reality though is you have to do what works for you. It sounds like your a bit stressed...try to take some time for yourself like camsmom1 said. Leave DH or family/friend with a bottle and see how you feel. It may give you just enough of a break that you may feel differently.

Good luck with everything....keep your chin up

Hillbilly Housewife replied: It's probably a touch of the blues. I know that I really don't feel like nursing Naomie sometimes... it sounds bad... but it just doesn't feel like it should. It feels annoying. Like I got this little tongue playing with my nip instead of nursing. I don't like it.

I'm a cranky overtired mommy who wants her body back - nursing isn't helping. But I know that it's good for my baby - she needs the bonding... we just started on a teaspoon of rice cereal during the day - and she still drinks about 13 ounces from a bottle between 8:30 and 4:30... and she nurses about every 90 minutes at home. Like clockwork - until nighttime. At least I have my nights... she'll sleep from about midnight to 5am.

I know how you feel. Try hand expressing now and them... just to relieve the pressure. It does stabilize... I don't know about you, but mine now no longer feel like the full of milk boob - they feel like squishy baggies full of oatmeal. Sorry, probably tmi....

if you think you can handle it on your own - go for it... but see your doctor if you think you may not be able to cope with it.

coasterqueen replied:
Hey Rocky, actually nursing will help get your body back . I thought the same thing when I was nursing Kylie. It seemed like the weight didn't come off like it should with nursing. My problem is I realized I was eating WAY too much and expecting the BF to take it all off for me. This time around with Megan that first 20 pounds I lost (this past three months Sept - Dec) I only had to decrease my intake of food and nursing did the rest.

luvbug00 replied: just want to

kayla's mama replied: I normally do not touch subjects concerning BF vs FF because I don't want offend anyone

Anyways, when I had Kayla, all I wanted to do was to BF. We did great in the hospital but once we got home it was a totally different story. She wouldn't latch, we were just having problems. I felt like I couldn't get anything done. When she was done feeding it was time to do it all again. I just couldn't do it. Then it got to the point that I didn't even want her touching me, AT ALL!!!! That is when I know I had PPD.

It kinda sounds like you may have a touch of PPD Hang in there.

~Roo'sMama~ replied: I have felt that way too, even though I am bound and determined to BF Andrew until he's at least a year old. I think it's a natural feeling, especially in those first few weeks before your milk regulates and you haven't gotten past the discomfort and the mess yet. Once I got past that part it got a lot easier for me, although my battle with thrush has made it pretty tempting to quit sometimes.

Hillbilly Housewife replied:
Sorry - I meant that I want it all to myself, I'm resigned to it's shape...

coasterqueen replied:
Ah, ok, I see what you are saying now.

1moremakes4 replied:
I totally understand what you are going through. With my older daughter I wanted so bad to bf her as long as possible. I got sick when she was about 3 months old, got dehydrated and lost my supply. She had already been on formula because I had gone back to work and couldn't pump, so it wasn't a huge change for her, but it was devistating to me.
With Kamryn, I was determined to do everything right so I could bf her like I wanted to with Taylor. But I know that feeling of it being a burden. I really feel like I can't do anything without her. (I am not able to pump, so that's not even an option) I've thought about stopping so many times, but she hates the idea of being fed formula in a bottle and won't take it. I feel like I would be starving her if I quit.
I wanted to grocery shop by myself (for a change) the other day but Kamryn was going to be waking up soon, so I waited. By the time she woke up and I fed her, it was time to make dinner, so I didn't get to go out. My husband and I could really use a night out, but we can't leave her with anyone.
It may not be PPD, it may be just overwhelming to have 2 kids now, one of whom you can't leave with someone else for a little while. I know that feeling of desperately needing time away but not able to get it. It's frustrating. Don't beat yourself up about feeling like you do, but do try to take little breaks when you can.
Good luck!!

CantWait replied: It might be PPD, or it might be that BF just isn't for you. It doesn't agree with all mothers and that's ok. You've given it your best shot. Have you looked into other resources to help you be more comfortable with it. If it's something you really want to do, don't give up, but at the same time like I said, not all mommy's like it.