I don't know how to handle this... - I know what I would LIKE to do

punkeemunkee'smom wrote: BUT Bill keeps reminding me that I am almost 6 months pregnant and entering the boxing ring right now is probably not in my best interest.......OK here is the story...

First of all we have had trouble with Taylor's tap teacher. NOt just us but the whole class. She doesn't really like little kids and at the beginning of the year she was working them out for greater than 1/2 the class. I mean push ups, sit-ups, streches, a real workout. She was spoken to about that and we all agreed that a little streching to prepare for dance was a good idea but 45 minutes of excersise was going overboard. She sent a letter home and we thought that things had evened out a bit. A few weeks ago she made Taylor and one other little girl (during the same class but at different times) cry because she made them do a turn over and over until they got it right. Taylor is a BIG pleaser and if she feels like she is doing something wrong she will try and try to correct it.....Fast forward to last night

Bill came with us to dance class-usually a BIG EXCITING thing for Tay. When she came out of Ballet (her first class different teacher) She was all smiles and hugs for Daddy-When she came out of Jazz she was very quiet and subduded.As were most of the other kids-which coming out of this class is not so unusual... On the way out the door she told me that Ms. Melissa pushed her tonight. I asked why and she said to move me I thought maybe she had put her hands on Taylor's shoulders and moved her in place or something.(still something I would have addressed but I was trying to give Melissa the benifit of the doubt) We went to dinner and on the way home I told her to stop doing something and she started bawling and saying she was sorry-I could tell that something was VERY wrong. BY the time we got home she was saying over agin that Melissa had shoved her hard and grabbed her arm and kind of picked her up to move her OK NOW WTF? I had missed a call from one of the other moms in dance so I called her and sure enough her daughter had come home with the same story about Taylor being SHOVED and the teacher grabbing her.....I immediately called the studio owner and told her I wanted a meeting with her and this teacher and I want this teacher fired! According to the other child in class she did not say anything to Tay just walked over and shoved her. Her mom tried the whole hands on the shoulders thing with her too and she said no like this and pushed her mom First of all I am FURIOUS! Secondly I am so sad for Taylor. She is heart broken and feels like the teacher doesn't like her. 3rd, I don't know what to do...above and beyond common sense this teacher knows about our wreck this summer, she knows that Taylor has still had some issues with her neck and back. Taylor has alot of friends in this class and says she wants to stay but I can not put her back into a class where she has been treated this way (IF the owner doesn't fire her).....

What would you do???????

mckayleesmom replied: Ya...I would want her fired to. I would be flipping out. 1. If you don't like kids, don't teach them. 2. This is suppose to be about having fun and if the kids aren't having fun...your not doing your job right anyways. 3. This is not the first time she has been out of bounds with the kids.....Time to give up being a dance teacher.

If they don't fire her...I would be sitting in on every class and making her feel as uncomfortable as she made my child. I would tape it too.

MommyToAshley replied: Do you remember when Ashley went through something similar? Her first year of dance was wonderful, she had the best teacher ever. Her second year, she got a teacher just like the one you described. It was obvious that she didn't like kids. She wasn't too bad to Ashley because Ashley was one of her "pets" but she made several kids in the class cry and Ashley didn't want to go back to dance class. She cried not to go in class, which is unusual because she loved it so much. It wouldn't have done any good to complain because the teacher was the owner/director. So, we switched dance schools. Then, Ashley took a year off. Now, she's back in dance and I am glad because I know she really loves it.

I think you are definitely doing the right thing by going to the director. I would want the teacher fired or my child moved to another teacher. I know it is hard if Taylor has friends in the class, but if the teacher isn't fired, I would look for another dance school. That dance teacher can count her blessing that you are 6 months PG.

gr33n3y3z replied: I would want that teacher fired and if she doesnt I would pull my child out of that dance class or school
especially when so many children saw what happend maybe even sign a complaint with the police dept.

CantWait replied: I agree with Lisa, if all else fails, complaint to the police department will get everyone on their toys making sure that the kids are treated fairly and with respect. I'd always be sitting in on classes if you choose to leave Tay there.

What a horrible rotten women.

BecauseIsaidSo replied: Here is my 2 cents:

If that happened to my child (and my child really wnted to stay in the jazz class because of her friends then I would talk with the studio owner about the pushing and shoving and then tell the owner that I would like to sit in on every JAZZ class just for your daughters well being!!!! You also might question the other mothers about this particular teacher. Yeah, I would be sitting in on the class with a magazine for sure!!!

cameragirl21 replied: I'm really sorry, Abbie, that's terrible.
I have to tell you, though, after years of being in various dance classes that I have seen teachers push, shove, yell, and use words that made me cringe. It was never directed at me but still, it was awful. Seeing a child crying in dance class was not an uncommon occurrence at the studio I went to and often it was done at the hands of and/or in the full view of the studio owner. I think dance has become so competitive that it may not be about the kids having fun anymore.
I certainly think you should complain to the studio owner and Idk what she will do about it, she may fire her or not, just saying that it's not as uncommon as you think. That doesn't make it ok or acceptable, of course.
Calling the police may make you a persona non grata there, especially if the police don't take your side which they may not unless there is evidence of abuse, such as injury, etc.
Again, not trying to discourage you, just telling you the view from the other side, I have been there. Also, a lot of the parents are considered by the studio owner and by other parents as "stage parents" and people often when they complain about anything. Again, you DO have a valid complaint, no doubt, just warning you of what may come of it, like I said, I have been there and have seen it all.
I'd likely put her in a different class or if she wants to stay, then observe or perhaps approach the teacher yourself and ask her what happened. I'd want the teacher to know I'm watching her if the studio owner doesn't do anything herself, kwim?
Dance teachers need to remember that they're not training kids for Juilliard, just for fun and learning. Some kids will invariably go to Juilliard but that's not what most dance studios are for. It should be imo more about the kids having fun and less about getting each move down to perfection.

punkeemunkee'smom replied: I am still waiting to hear from the owner today. I know that she called the other mom who called me last night and has spoken to her. She told that mom she was going to call Melissa and get her side of the story This owner is so young and so sweet but I am worried that she is a little inexperienced on handling stuff like this. We really love her and Taylor has been dancing at this studio for 4 years now. I hate the thought of pulling her from the school all together BUT I have been thinking about just that. I just don't know if it would really be punishing Taylor only in the long run. I seriously doubt she will stay in Jazz with Melissa-I am hopeful that they at least remove her from the classroom. I have thought about the filing a complaint with the police-after I typed it all out this morning I honestly sat there with the phone in my hand....It is still something I am thinking about-if for nothing more than a lesson learned that you DON'T PUSH CHILDREN!!!!

jcc64 replied: Regardless of whether Tay has friends in the class, there is no way I would allow her back into a class being taught by this teacher. Whether or not she is fired is out of your hands obviously. I would find another class/teacher/school, and though Tay might balk at having to leave her friends behind, remind her that she will undoubtedly make new ones and that the primary reason she is there is to dance.
Corey does gymnastics, and though the coaches can be demanding, they never lose sight of the fact that they are working with children, not highly trained athletes. The kind of behavior you've described is abusive and unacceptable. I'm sorry she had to go through that, Abbie.

Danalana replied: Oh gosh, I would be livid! I can't imagine that the feeling of wanting to protect your child from EVERYTHING lessens at the child gets older, so I have no idea what I would do. I would probably confront her. I am not confrontational at all, but it's different when it comes to my child. After confronting her, I would make it known that I am going to be there observing at EVERY class.
On the other hand, I would want to report her and never take my child back, but that might not be the answer in every situation. I hope you get it resolved the way you want and in the way that is best for Taylor.

AlexsPajamaMama replied:
I agree
Do your best to explain to Taylor that she is not being punished in anyway, that what happened was not okay and thats why she has to leave the class.

My2Beauties replied: I would be livid and going off on someone myself. Hanna takes gymnastics right now and there are other ways to get children to pay attention rather than shove them. How awful! I would complain and hope she gets fired, if not, I would sit in every class from here on out and believe you me, that teacher and me would be having a "talk" after class, I wouldn't be very nice to her.

punkeemunkee'smom replied:
No,(if Melissa remains the Jazz teacher) She will definately not be going back to Jazz I feel so bad for her. I am going to allow her to stay in Ballet with the owner of the studio because she loves her and I don't feel like that would be fair at all... I am still waiting for the return call and I am not calming down even a little while I am waiting!

A&A'smommy replied: OMG I would be SOOO angry!!!! She OBVIOUSLY doesn't enjoy what she is doing and personally if it was me she would be GONE immediatly

jem0622 replied: I am so sorry. If she won't be let go or can't be for whatever reason, then I would not allow my child there. I would consider reporting her for child endangerment, but I would want all the facts before I did that. We cannot allow our kids to develop self esteem issues because of adults who have no self control (mouth or otherwise).

HUGS

lisar replied: well once I calmed myself down and didn't go and beat the mess out of this teacher I would have called the owner also. And if she isn't fired is there any way you can press charges on her? I mean seriously that is a form a child abuse in my opinion. And I would not let my child go back if she still has the same teacher. No way no how.

A&A'smommy replied: any updates?

Brias3 replied: I'm so sorry to hear this- how HORRIBLE! Seriously, I cannot even believe some people. You're completely right on target with feeling the way you do- heck, if it were me, I would have flattened her by now, so she should be thankful you're handling this how you are!

Though I'd have some severe reservations about the studio in general, I can see what you mean about getting on well with the owner and Tay having lots of friends there, etc. It's definitely a tough spot.

KUP- I'd seriously think about reporting her though- that instructor's behavior was completely, beyond out of line.

Lots of hugs to you and sweet Taylor!