I called my ex-husband - I just want to crawl into a hole and die

~CrazieMama~ wrote: I told him that I have been keeping something inside me for a few years and that I needed to tell him. He had no idea what I was gonna say....i asked him. He said he was being nice to me because he knew that I cared alot about him...I said, "no, it is more than that". hE SAID, "OH REALLY?" Yep, I said. He was surprised. But he said that he can not change his life around to include me in it. That he does not want to burden Tyler with a rearrangement. But then he told me that everything that happened in the past, he forgives me....I can not even say or type that without crying. If he only knew how that would effect me to hear him say that. He said that he thinks about me all the time, that he cares about me alot. But that he cares for the woman he is living with also. He has been with her for almost 5 years, he says.

So, he tells me that we have went our seperate ways. I told him that I didn't, that I was still there. He says..you did a u-turn. "Yeah I did", I told him. I told him that he is the one keeping us apart now, not me. He didn't say anything. I just don't know what to do. I have been sitting her crying and bawling like a baby. I am not a whole person without him. He was my other half.

Oh gosh, I just don't know what to do. I am so depressed. And so unhappy.

paradisemommy replied: so sorry hon...i can only offer you someone else way better will come along..just be patient and stay strong..

coasterqueen replied: Aww sweetie, I wish I had some words to make you feel better If he does not want to start something again, it's his loss really. I know that doesn't make you feel better, but it's true. You are a wonderful beautiful person inside and out and I know there is a man out there that is just waiting and wondering where you are.

Cry on our shoulder, we are all here for you.

~CrazieMama~ replied: Well, I have been talking with a friend of mine. I am going to think positive. If it was meant to be, well him and I will be together. Of course it will take time to get the answer to that. Thanks ladies for your kind words. I just love this man so much and I so badly want to be with him.

A&A'smommy replied: oh honey im sooo sorry!!!! (((HUGE HUGS))) all i can say is that if it is meant to be it will happen, it does sound like he cares about you so maybe you gave him something to think about. But here is something you should think about also, how this girl feels about him. I wish i could be there for you im so so sorry!!!!! ((((HUGE HUGS))))

~CrazieMama~ replied: Thanks Jessica, Now it is just a waiting game now.

Taz Snow replied: oh hun I am sorry wish that there was more that I could do to help you with this but all I can offer you is my support and lots of and if you ever want to talk I am always here for you you know my aol name just talk to me if you wnat to i will always lison to you.

~CrazieMama~ replied: Thanks Kathy, I am glad that I have supportive and caring people to talk to.

Maddie&EthansMom replied: Oh honey! I just don't know how you will get the closure you need. It is so hard. I have been there, too. You will find someone. I know those words do not help now, but you will fall madly in love with someone else some day and the feeling will be mutual. Hang in there and have faith. I know you trust in God, give Him a chance to fill that void in your life. You are not alone. You have 2 wonderful kids who adore you. It will get better. I promise. I will be praying for you.

MommyToAshley replied: I am sorry you are going through this, there is nothing that hurts more than a broken heart. It almost would have been better if he would have told you that he didn't care for you anymore, but he sounds like he does still care. That's got to make it even worse. I hope things work out the way you want.... but, if they dont, you are a strong, caring and wonderful person and you will make it past this. We are here if you want to talk, cry, vent... anything!

~CrazieMama~ replied: Thanks everyone, I will keep you all updated as the time passes. I so hope he realizes that we are meant to be together. If not, I just don't know what Im gonna do. I think that could be why I have failed relationships. Well, before anyways...

~CrazieMama~ replied: Just to let you all know, my ex-husband is 35 years old. I am 25. But I know that doesn't make a difference. I love is blind in so many ways. And it is not like I want him because of my kids....I can find any man for that. But I know in my heart. I just wish I realized this a while ago.