I am so stupidly mad... over nothing..... - grrrr

Hillbilly Housewife wrote: DH and I agreed that we were sataying home this Christmas - and trhat our parents would come to us - since for me, it would only be my mom and grandmother coming, they would stay with us, and for DH it would be his parents, who could stay with one of their zillion relatives that live in this town.

Everyhing was aggreed.... MIL called us to ask us if we were going on the 24th, or on the 25th...wtf??so DH tells hger we'd agreed that we were doing it at OUR house tis year.She got really upset and wanted reasons....... dh went and told her it was too expensive to drive there (65$ each way for gas) instead of the real reaon - which is we've wanted to "host" c-mas for the last 4 yuears and have had to go there not to disapoiint instead... and now that we have 3 kids, it would just be easier if everyone came to us instead.

She got really peeved... hung up. Called back to tell us that she would not only pay for our gas there and back, but they bribed us with watching the kids from the 26th until the 29th for us (the older 2). DH agreed..without talking to me.



for the last 4 years i've tried to host c-mas - my parents are always willing to go with it... but his parents are just too stubborn...... they refuse to let go of their son. I swear - next year... we're staying at home... we ain't travelling for ANYBODY!!!

Ooooh I'm so mad at DH right now.

Hillbilly Housewife replied: sorry for spelling... t1h.

Celestrina replied: I'm sorry. My MIL can guilt trip my DH into almost anything.

CantWait replied: Not overreacting at all, I find it hard travelling with 2 kids, never mind 3, and one being so little. Your Inlaws really should understand this..and to watch the older 2, but not the third..what break does that really give you?? I'm sorry your plans got changed, I hope you can still enjoy yourself

CAMSMOM1 replied: I think you have every right to be mad, and it's not stupid. You have real reasons why you should have Xmas at your house. I think people forget how it feels to travel with little ones, and how much stress it can be...not to mention the money and the time it takes. I sounds very stressful, and I can totally relate. During the holidays it is very stressful for us too. My DH's parents are divorced, so are mine. So we have to travel to 4 different places for Christmas, and it isn't fun or relaxing like the holidays should be. Our familes wouldn't budge either, they say it's tradition...and don't want to change. I think your MIL is being very stubborn, it's her way or no way. And that's not right. If you've gone there the last 4 years, why can't she comprimise and go your way? She says she doesn't want to pay for gas, but you've had to do that for 4 years and traveling with kids.
I think your DH should've talked to you first before committing. He knows how you feel about it, and this is a big decision that should've involved both of you. It's not to late to back out of this, or why don't you call her yourself? She can tell her son whatever she wants, it might be different if she talks to you. And if you agree to go her way, she should watch all 3 children...or else it's not really a "break" like she makes it sound. I think you should talk to your DH as well. He needs to know how this has hurt you, and going behind your back and not involving you isn't right and you're upset. In the future, he should make it a point to run things by you. And at Christmas this year if you go to his Mom's, make an annoucment then and there to everyone that next year, Christmas is at your place. I'm sure she wouldn't battle you in front of everyone...and they can all make plans a year in advance for it.
Hope this works out for you. In Laws can be a pain in the neck!
Ann

mckayleesmom replied: I would tell my husband to have a nice trip, because I would still be staying home. If he agreed to it without my consent, then he can back out without my consent too.

jacobsmama replied: That stinks you have right to be mad...

Mom2Boyz replied: You have every right to be mad!!!! If you guys had already made plans to have it at your house, the least he could have done is ask you before changing plans.

Maddie&EthansMom replied: I agree that you have every right to be mad.

Your MIL sounds like my mom. She is such a weirdo about having all the holidays at HER house. Sometimes it's just too hard to make it.

kimberley replied:
sorry, but when you have that many young kids and live in a place with ugly winter most of the year, there should be some understanding and compromise made. MIL sounds like she is just being immature and territorial.
sorry hon. i hope things work out.

Kaitlin'smom replied: see thats why me sis is having at her house she has 3 kids and the younget is not wuite 6 months old, when kait was little they came to us. So we understand. I feel for you.


to you DH bad bad bad

Hillbilly Housewife replied:
I should mention my little is breastfeeding... and I donb't pump nearly enough to be able to stock up for a couple days....

we have company coming in from out of town in the 28th... and in a way, i'm glad the inlaws will have the other kids... that way i can get the stuff i needc to do easier!

but I'm still mad.

booey2 replied: You have every right to be mad. My mom pulls this every year even after we had Thomas and told her that we would be switching back and forth each year. Then a couple of years ago she said on Christmas eve when we were there that maybe the next year we should just come down for a visit and then drive back home on Christmas eve. That made our life way easier. Now we go down on Christmas eve and come back home and then decide if we wanna go back for a visit a couple of days later we can or wait til New Years. I agree you should and have every right to be mad and it is not nothing.