I am so not ready for this!! Don't know what I am - going to do!

TANNER'S MOM wrote: Well they sent home the note from school today that they want to teach the 5Th graders "Growth and Development" of their bodies. The way they are doing this is very hard for a parent to say NO too. They are having a 2 day field trip to a place called Harvest Mountain. The first day they are talking about peer pressure, drugs, self esteem. How to say No, how to stay strong, right and wrong. Playing comes, hiking doing mind and body building exercises. The 2ND they are splitting up and teaching the puberty type stuff.

Okay, Tanner is 10 years old. He is a farm boy and he knows about sex. He has breed his animals and knows what it means. He knows it what it means in humans and he has an older brother so I know for a fact that he realized what puberty is. BUT, he doesn't pay that much attention to anything like that. He can still walk in on me and be like hey Mom. Just doesn't really have a sexual bone in his body. He is no near puberty. I know girls mature ALOT faster than boys. I am sure some girls in his class are wearing bra's and getting their periods. But Tanner is no wear near that yet. I mean I know, I see him in the tub or changing.

I am not ready for this, and I personally feel like it's pushing him. I am calling the school tomorrow to go over the curriculum to discuss exactly what they are teaching. But I feel like they have put us parents in a place. If we say NO, then NO field trip. Everyone knows that kids love field trips and especially one that involves hiking for boys.

Yuck! We have an open relationship and we have discussed sex and many other things at an age level he can handle. He has asked questions and I have answered them but I hate this. I don't want the school to teach him some of these things. But I don't want him to feel left out and go to school and get the information 2ND hand of what some kid "thought" they meant either.

Help, what do you think? Do you think I am crazy!

mckayleesmom replied: Honestly...I think it is good for kids their age to know about the changes that are going to happen with their bodies. As long as they stick to the basics. I think actual sex talk should have already been told by parents by this age because of how oversexualized our world has become..even at this age.. I was really glad they taught us that because a couple weeks later I started my period... By high school with certain classes it is discussed anyways, but it should be already discussed with parents in my opinion. I think its ok if they discuss sex as long as they don't get to graphic with them. With this day and age it is best to teach them young....Kids Tanner's age and younger are more sexually active these days which is sad.

I think Tanner is very inteligent for his age and will handle it maturely.


Maybe you can sit Tanner down and ask him what he thinks they are going to be teaching...chances are he already knows the basics of it.

If I was a parent 20 years ago I would have said no way, but we don't have the same society as we did then. Sadly our kids are forced to grow up faster. We shouldn't have to teach our kids this young, but its something it has come down to.

TANNER'S MOM replied: Well I think for me the line is kind of because I realize w/ him being the baby that girls do mature ALOT faster. The girls did watch the films and it was good for them. But boys do mature alot slower than girls. I mean girls at 10, are wearing bra's , talking about make up. Boys Tanner's age are still collecting baseball cards, and match box cars and playing in the mud like he was earlier today.

luvmykids replied: I get torn on this, I know kids need to know but at the same time, why put things in their heads that they're blissfully unaware of? Tanner will probably let it go in one ear and out the other but it would be a hard decision for me too.

mammag replied: I think you are doing the right thing by talking to the school. I would just go by that and your feelings after talking to them. I think it is good for them to know what to expect with their bodies and maybe they will discuss things that we as moms wouldn't think of to tell our boys. The only thing that would be bothersome to me would be how they will discuss sex and that is what I would want to find out about.

There are a lot of books now for boys that you could look at and if you are okay with let him read and ask you any questions he may have before going. It might make you more comfortable to know you have already gone over it all together first.

I will tell you that puberty does come on unexpectedly with boys. Cade took off all of a sudden and I started noticing changes (some not as fun to notice) I wasn't prepared for mentally. The outward things were hair...I won't get into others....

I remember my mom not talking about that stuff with me (I know you guys are open so this isn't referring to you) and things started changing that freaked me out. I don't want my kids to feel that way or feel abnormal so I think that it's good to cover it before it happens. Does that make sense.

I guess I would say to just go with your gut.

TANNER'S MOM replied: I am well aware of the fun stuff of the boys in puberty! lol
I know exactly what you mean. lol I have been throught this before. I guess for me it just seems that we push our kids. They don't all arrive at the puberty or being sexually aware at the same time. I feel when we do it this way, we take some of the innocence that is wonderful away from them and we do it in the hopes that we are educating them. I mean we can talk about a time when this wasn't taught in school. When sex was taboo and we can think about all the bad things. Being unaware of our bodies, teens we got pregnant were ashamed and shunned etc. But then in a way I think, heck some of this was good. We didn't have sex on the tv like we do now. We didn't have to explain to our to 10 year olds why they couldn't watch certain shows on tv, b/c those weren't on in the first place. I mean I know we have evolved or like to think so. But I also think there is a price to pay for it.

A&A'smommy replied: yikes I say go with your gut, you know your child better than anyone!!!

Nina J replied: I agree that you know Tanner best, so you should go with your gut.

But at the same time, I think a lot of his class mates are going to be learning about puberty and changes, etc. around now. I would rather have my child hear these things from myself and other adults, rather than from children on the playground. I know from my own teenage years that you hear a lot of untrue things from other kids. I didn't know much about periods besides the basics, but I was told by other girls that it was so painful they'd cry for 5 days straight and you bled heaps and heaps. I remember I was expecting to bleed buckets and be in agony So I know that when the time comes for my girls to learn these things, I would be more comfortable for them to hear it from adults rather than kids.

Go with what you feel is right though, you are in the best position to make a decision

gr33n3y3z replied: If he already knows about it then I see no big deal with it BUT I would call the school up and find out exactly what he would be told also.
With my children they knew everything at that age so no surprises would show up.

ZandersMama replied: my sex ed was my mom giving me a book called "getting your period". that was it. it would have been great to know more because up until my teenage years i thought you could "catch" pregnant. when you arent told specifics, a childs mind can come up with quite a bit.

Maddie&EthansMom replied: Mel that is so hard! I can definitely see where you are torn on this. I am approaching this soon and I know a lot of people say our kids need to know at an earlier age, but only we know when our kids are ready. If Tanner doesn't go you know the kids that go will come back and exaggerate the stories. Maybe it would be best for him to hear it for himself? Talk to him before he goes and say "if anyone tells you anything other than xyz then they are wrong." More than likely if he isn't mature enough then he will only take away what his mind is mature enough to handle. Definitely call the school though.

MommyToAshley replied: I was thinking the same thing as Aimee... I think it's better that he hear it from a reliable source than other kids who may not get it quite right. But, I see where you are torn. It seems like everyone wants our babies to grow up so fast. Everything is happening earlier and earlier. I am one of those parents that have sort of sheltered Ashley -- I screen TV shows, don't allow certain language, and avoid situations that aren't appropriate for her age. It just seems like kids are deprived of their childhood and innocence so young these days, and I'm not ready for that. However, when it comes to these sort of things, I'd rather she learn the truth from a reliable source than getting misinformation from other kids.

I'd start with a call to the school and ask for a copy of the lesson plans. Then, go from there.

lisar replied: I think its crazy also. Last year they wanted to teach Lexi about HIV and I said no. I let her go to the Good touch bad touch classes but not the HIV ones.

Danalana replied: This happened with us when I was in 7th grade. I already knew way more than I wanted to know at that point! I do remember one of my friends not coming because her parents didn't want her to. I thought that was a little weird...I mean, 7th graders already know so much. 5th graders are a different story. I know Tanner is aware of sex already. Heck, it's just a different world. My 8 (almost 9)-year old nephew is aware of sexual undertones in movies, even. His parents have that Clearplay thing, where you can filter out as much stuff as you want, so he almost never sees any skin at all. But kids just know! It's great that you are going to call the school and find out what they will be teaching. Like the others said, go with what you believe to be best for Tanner.

TANNER'S MOM replied: Well I called the school nurse to talk to her this morning. She said that she was very glad I called that most parents do just leave it to the school. We talked about what was being taught exactly. She said they went over body changes for boys, hygiene etc. She said they did see pictures of penis's that were changing and they did discuss erection and wet dreams briefly. That's where you loose me. I mean I know it happens. But like I have stated I have seen Tanner naked. I know for a fact that he is the same as he was when he was 5. He isn't having wet dreams etc. But she did tell me that I could come to the school and get the video they would be watching. She said she encourages all parents to come and get it but is shocked b/c few do. She said I should watch the video w/ Dh and then discuss if we are ready for Tanner to see it. Also we would know exactly Tanner is being taught. That makes since for me. I am going to get it this week and watch it before I make any decision.

I told DH I wanted to cry today. I am not ready for Tanner to go through puberty! I want him to stay little forever. I wish I could give him something to delay being a man..lol DH laughed at me..but it's true. It's hard to watch the baby of 4 grow up!

Maddie&EthansMom replied: Mel I think it's wonderful that they are allowing you and even encouraging you to get the video and watch it.

I know how you feel about your baby growing up. I can't stand it that Maddie is getting older. She's doing it gracefully, though and I know Tanner is, too. He's a great kid. These videos won't crush their innocence, they will just be more aware of what is going on when they do go through the changes. They eventually all have to go through it,kwim? It's harder on us parents.

MommyToAshley replied: That's a great idea to watch the video. At least you will know what they are teaching him... then you can make an informed decision. It may just put your mind at ease to know how they are presenting the material. Let us know what you decide.

Nina J replied: I agree that it is great you are able to see the video. It will really help with your decision, and if you decide Tanner is ready to see you, you will know exactly what he is seeing, so you will be able to discuss it with him better than other parents whose kids are seeing it.

I bet the school is really happy when a parent likes to get involved and know what there kids are being taught.

gr33n3y3z replied: