I am completely offended!

MM'sMama wrote: Ok I wasn't going to post this but it is seriously bothering me.

So today I got off work early and it was a really nice day, so I thought ok I'll take the kids to the park. I changed and was putting on shoes when my DH (he took today off work) says to me your not going to wear that are you? I was wearing these really cute jean capris I LOVE and a I guess semi fitted tshirt. I was puzzled so I looked at him funny and asked yes why?
To which he says "it looks AWFUL" ok again I was puzzled so I asked what he meant and he actually says to me....."Your getting pretty darn heavy babe you need to stop dressing in those clothes". EXCUSE Me?!?! Did he seriously just say that to me?!?!?! At which point I got really mad and defensive. I told him why don't you try popping out 2 kids and see how you look! Not to mention the stress and the S*&T you bring into this house you expect me to look and it and not eat it ever! And FYI LITTLE MAN I know I need to lose some weight and he knows I have been working so hard at it! I said a whole bunch of other not so nice words I can't say here. But I was mad! I still am.
Ok so yes I am not the size I was when we first started dating anymore, but good god he could be a little nicer about it hes my husband for crying out loud WTF!!!!! Sorry I don't go to the gym 5 days a week like he does. But in case he has not noticed I have 3 kids to care for now and I work, take care of him, the kids, the house you name it. And i really have been working hard at losing the weight Ann knows (camsmom)
So excuse me for putting on some weight! My feelings are way hurt! Sorry for venting on your guys yet again I really am.

BTW he said something like this recently too but not as harsh.

Edward's Mommy replied: I would have punched him!!! I'm so sorry. Sometimes they're more discouraging than encouraging. I'm so sorry. I know how hard it is!!!!

mommymonster replied: Men can be so insensitive! I am sure you look just fine in your capris and top, I say wear them everyday just to annoy him! He is probably insecure with himself and needs to make you feel awful just so he can feel better! Sorry you had to hear such a comment from your hubby
Goodnight!
Jess

luvmykids replied: Aw Karah I'm so sorry, you have a full plate and like most mom's can't do all the things for yourself you might want/need to ... if it's become so bothersome to him why doesn't he watch the kids/help with the house so you can go to the gym?!?!?!?!

I would be mad and hurt too. I'm sorry.

kayla's mama replied: Sorry he was so insensitive I'm sure you looked great in your outfit!!!

MM'sMama replied: Thanks girls!

I'm trying so hard and he just made me feel so horrible.

Monica I asked him the same thing, why doesn't he watch the kids so I can go to the gym or help around the house and he looked at my like I had a screw loose.

I admit I don't look great and I need to lose weight but geez does he have to rub it in esp. when I am trying so dang hard.

Crystalina replied: My DH has made comments to me when I wear my capris. They are really comfy but he HATES them. He says,"either wear jeans or shorts, those things make no sense." He said that they make me look fatter then I am. ITA with him. If you are a little overweight those are not the pants to wear. I do anyway just not so much in public anymore.

Maybe it was the pants? I'm not going to stick up for him though, that just wasn't very bright on his part.

I always ask my DH for his opinion but I don't really want it.

EvesMom replied: I know how you feel. DH has been buying fitness equipment for me. So, he's telling me I have to lose weight more subtley, but it still bothers the heck out of me. I kinda got even today though, it was his birthday and I bought him a cane ( he's 12 years older than me )

holley79 replied: Oh sweetie. I'm so sorry he said that. Men can be so mean. I would be so also.

MM'sMama replied: Thanks girls! You ladies always make me feel better.

Its not the pants.

CAMSMOM1 replied:

Oh Karah, I'm soooooo sorry your DH was being an insensitive brat. To say it nicely.

You have been working SO HARD at this, and I'm SO PROUD of you. You have been my inspiration everyday. I think about you everyday, and how much I want to be able to tell you, I did it too! You have been so dedicated to this, and it's not going to be an overnight thing. And you can't let anyone, or anything get you down or stand in your way of your success.
You are a beautiful woman, Karah, and it doesn't matter what size you are. I know that our DH's dont understand that struggles we go through, and they think they are helping us when they say crap like that.

Dont let this set you back. Keep up the good work, you are doing an awesome job!

MM'sMama replied:
Ann you just had to make me cry didn't you! Kidding thank you so much for your kind words you have know idea how much it means to me. You mean the world to me you ahve been my rock and my inspiration threw this! You have supported me and listened to me thank you for meing such a wonderful friend to me! Thank you so much for everything you have know diea how muhc it means to me!

I am so proud of you too and YOU CAN DO IT TOO!!!! We'll do it together!

CAMSMOM1 replied:

You have been my rock, and the greatest friend. I dont' think I could do it without you. I'm so glad you didn't let this set you back. You have this determination in you that I can't help but admire.

WTG on the 3 pounds!!!! Woo-Hoo girl, there's no stopping you now!

By summer, we're both gonna be hot mama's in our bathing suits!

Love ya girl!

kit_kats_mom replied: That's harsh. Sorry he said that.

You do need to make time for yourself though. Since he said that, I'd take it as full on approval for doing something about it. Figure out some ways to free up some time for yourself.

Hire a maid to come every other week to take care of the deep (healthy foods) more healthy foods at least 3 days a week.
Work on doling out the chores between you two and make sure he has at least half. I had to do this one, do all of the grocery shopping and DO NOT buy junk. If it isn't in the house, you can't eat it. If you must buy junk for the kids, buy junk you hate. For example, DH and the girls LOVE pretzles. I cant' stand them so there are lots of those around.

Then enroll in a gym and go every evening when he gets home. If he needs to bathe the kids so you can work out...so be it. On Saturdays, go get a massage or mani/pedi. You deserve to feel good about yourself too.

MyBrownEyedBoy replied: Any of what I want to say isn't PG, but all I can think is, "what a butt!" He had no right to say that to you. No right at all. If he wants to help you out or motivate you, how about he watches the kids for an hour so you can hit the gym.

JAYMESMOM replied: I am sorry. I unfortunately can't relate to my DH saying things. But if he was to I would send him across the moon.

Hang in there and try not to let him bother you.

Maddie&EthansMom replied: Karah I'm so sorry!!! What a terribly insensitive thing for him to say. I hate it that he isn't acknowledging your efforts. Don't let it bring you down. Keep on keeping on. You'll reach your goal.

Mom2BNTN replied: You have every right to be offended by what your husband told you. I know I would be if my husband told me not to wear an outfit, because I was too heavy to wear it. Some men just will never learn how sensitive our weight is to us. I just recently had my first baby and I am not the same size I was before and maybe I won't ever be that small again, but you would think that your own husband would be supportative of you no matter what especially since you had HIS children. Maybe he needs to spend less time at the gym and more time at home with the kids so you can go to the gym if you want to or just to get out of the house for a while and do something to help get you motivated.

mckayleesmom replied: What an A$$......My husband would find himself alone everynight from now on while I went to the gym.

b&bsmom replied: Are any of us the size we were when we were dating??? My dh has it the worst because of my medicine it makes it hard to lose weight and I weigh about about 50lbs more than when we got married ( partly by being pg twice and having trouble losing weight from that) What are guys thinking when they say stuff like that. I say when he gets home hand him the duties and say you HAVE to go to the gym so you can lose the weight he talks so much about. See what he says then!!

jem0622 replied: He really said that? WOW...here's the frying pan, honey! So very sorry that he hurt your feelings!

Um...why does he get to go to the gym that much and you don't? A little give and take please?

coasterqueen replied: I'm so sorry he was so insensitive.

I agree w/Cary though that you need to take time for yourself. When I started working out in January my DH made comments about me not pulling my 1/2 of the daily tasks and I just replied with "I'm taking time for myself, my tasks will get done when they get done". AND I told him why it was important to me to take this time. After that he really understood how important it was to me and let me be. So things don't get done like they used to, but he's fine with that.

So take time for yourself and agree that tell him that you need to do this if he's going to make comments like that.


Fortunately my Dh and I make comments like that all the time to each other but we don't let it bother us. We do that to let each other know that we need to work harder or that we've let ourselves slip and it's all loving criticism. For us, this works.

punkeemunkee'smom replied: I am sorry Karah! That was horrible and uncalled for! You are beautiful and an amazing woman! Keep going with your goals-don't let his stupid comments discourage you! NObody I know is the size they were when they were dating-life happens! PM me anytime I am right there with you on the lose this booty train!

MyLuvBugs replied: WOW. I'd be PO'd too. I'm sorry he said that . Ya know what I'd do....I'd find an imperfection with him and make him feel bad about it.

Before I dated and married DH, I dated a guy that always made comments like that to me. It was so degrading. Once he told me that I was the biggest girl he'd ever dated. So, I turned around and looked at him and said, Really cause your the smelliest guy I ever dated and then walked away.

Just wear what you like and feel comfortable in. If he doesn't like it, tell him off.

TwinMama replied: Aww..I'm so sorry! 's to you!

CosmetologyMommy replied: I am glad my dh can't say that to me because HE GAINED WEIGHT TOO! LOL I would throw it back in his face. Sorry about that comment. I am very sensitive about my weight and I hate when people say stuff about it.

ions_momma replied: I am so sorry to hear that he said that to you! That is so insensitive and harsh!

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: I'm so sorry Karah... You have every right to be PO!! Why can't he give up some of his gym time and watch the kids for you? Maybe then he will understand that it's not easy to just go whenever you want, like he obviously thinks he can. It's not fair he goes 5 days a week and you don't get to go. I would also take some money from him and say "well then I'm buying myself new clothes if you don't like this". What a jerk!

Heather77 replied: What a horribly insensitive thing to say to you . I'm sorry .

MM'sMama replied: Thanks ladies you support means the world to me! DH and I are going to have a serious talk this weekend and come to a middle ground. I agree I do need time for me and I want to go to the gym. Like I said he goes 5 days a week (he is seriously obsessed with his body). So why can't I go 2 or 3 times a week right? He can jsut get over it well or pay for a maid and a sitter!
Thanks for the wonderful advice, hugs, and support! I can do this I know I can.

Thanks Abbie we can do this together too! Your doing great so far!