I am a 14 year old mother and i need advice - please help!

maddie223 wrote: I am 14 years old and my baby is 2 months of age. I am having a lot of trouble putting Charlotte to sleep and im usually up till 4 in the morning or im getting up numerous times during the night, even though im attending school part time.

Charlie hardly sleeps at all, actually she is only sleeping 2 hours per night and then cries the rest! she sleeps a lot during the day as well.

Although i am still living with my parents, they have made it quite clear that they are not going to help out with the baby and it is my responsibility.

Does anyone have any tips about how to get babies to sleep?? it drives me nuts!

I appriciate hearing any remedies!

thanks,
Maddie

mummy2girls replied: Welcome!

Have you tried rocking her to slep with music playing in the back ground? Or have you tried co-sleeping? Im not much of help because my daughter started to sleep through the night at 4 weeks old...

Im sure alot of moms here can give you some better advice

maddie223 replied: I have tried these sorts of things, but i will do it again cause i havent tried it for a while, thanks heaps . i just dont know how to be a parent though.

I am really glad i have found this website!

xoxo

mummy2girls replied:
well you are young..BUT there are yound moms on here that are awesome moms and very mature for thier age. This place is awesome so if you need advice post here and there will be alot of reponses and help!!!!

not to be noseya nd you have every right not to answer but is the dad in the picture?

Halo42101 replied: Hi, Maddie. My name is Jessi. Welcome to the board! I love your daughter's name. It's so sweet! I hope you find help getting your baby to sleep better.

maddie223 replied: I have no problem with you asking, thats fine.
The dad (Josh) is still in the picture, yeah. He is 16 years old. I am very much in love with him He doesnt live with me but he comes and takes care of the baby whenever possible.

kit_kats_mom replied: I'd say co sleep. especially if you are nursing...dont' even have to get out of bed to feed him.

2 months is really not when most babies are sleeping well. they are still adjusting to life outside of the womb. In fact, sleeping through the night is technically "sleeping one 5 hour stretch at some point during the night". I'd check www.askdrsears.com for some tips.

Make sure DS is comfy and just do what you can to rest. Maybe see if someone can watch him for a couple of hours once a week so you can just nap. He will sleep through the night at some point but I know the desperation that can be caused when you are looking at your 5th night of no sleep. BTDT. It'll drive you mad

Maybe try using a sling or other infant carrier and having him close to you during the day (that helped my girls). some kids are wired to sleep better though. My first didn't sleep totally through the night until she was about two and a half. my second is a little better. And even if/when you do get him to sleep though the night, he's bound to start teething, growth spurts or meeting milestones that will cause nightwakings again. Not to freak you out...it's normal and frankly, I wished someone would have told me about that up front. I was all thrilled when Lauren had started only waking up a couple of times a night...lulled into a false sense of sleep expectaion...then BABAM! teeth, Kapow! Gas, BOOOM! growth spurt. She's back to waking up every few hours...but she does go right back to sleep.

The first year is the worst as far as sleep goes. Sorry.

ETA...sorry.. I'm kinda sleep deprived myself today apparently. LOL I thought I read daughter then scrolled up and saw charlie so I referred to her as a him...sorry. I'm going to bed now

C&K*s Mommie replied: Great explanation and a very truthful one at that by Cary (kitkatsmom).

A&A'smommy replied: oh bless your heart... all I can say is she is still quite young and most young babies do that.. although mine was sleeping through the night from the beggining and then got her night mixed up when she was older. I agree try a new bedtime routine, a soothing bath, then some music and rocking and a last feeding. And during the day keep the lights on do lots of moving around.. playing some tummy time turn the tv on... I hope you start getting some sleep soon sweetheart!

also co sleeping would probably be a great way to get some sleep I know that helped us some!!

A&A'smommy replied:
also no one really KNOWS how to be a parent when they first have a child it just a instinct that kicks in.. also great places like this are helpful!!

maddie223 replied: thankyou all very much, you have been really helpful I will be trying these tonight!! You dont know how much i appricate your advice, its great help.

I am just wondering also what people think of immuniziations? I was told not to do it cause its the cause of diseases and things and the doctors are saying its up to me or my guardians, but i dont know - so does anyone have any opinons on it?

CantWait replied: Sorry you're having so much trouble. You're baby may also being suffering from colic. A trip to the Ped might be something to consider. He/She would be of some good advice on what to do. Good luck.

maddie223 replied: my gosh!! colic??? what is that??? could she be really sick?? my gosh!!!!

mckayleesmom replied:
Don't panic...Its pretty common and can really make a baby colic. I agree with everyone else....routine routine routine.

mckayleesmom replied: Here is a website on Colic that you can look over......http://www.emedicinehealth.com/colic/article_em.htm

maddie223 replied: Thanks for the website. I read that the cause of colic could be cause of certain breast milk formulas. I dont breastfeed because it is too painful and my breasts are still growing... could this be causing harm to her?

mckayleesmom replied:
Im not certain because my 2 were never colicy, but you might be able to talk to your doctor about a different kind of formula that is more gentle on her stomach.

mckayleesmom replied: Also...have you tried putting something in her crib or bassinet that vibrates? My son had a vibrating bassinet...worked wonders. My daughter slept in her swing for the longest time...It had a duck mobile on the top that made a noise as it went around and she had to have that thing playing...You can also try putting her into a bouncy seat or something more elevated to sleep.

maddie223 replied: thats heaps

Im just wondering what people think of immuniziations?? The doctor says it is up to me or my legal guardian but im just wondering cos ive heard they are related to diseases and infections and allergies.

Thankyou xox

maddie223 replied: vibrating bassinete?? no i havent tried that. wow... thanks!!!

CosmetologyMommy replied: sounds like she may have colic

C&K*s Mommie replied: Here is a link about the discussion of the chosen and not chosen immunizations for children since you asked:

Parenting Club post about vaccines for children

Boo&BugsMom replied: I only have two things to add onto the already wonderful said information . She def. could be colicy. My Tanner was the same way. The Ped. recommended him going on Alimentum formula. It's a corn-based formula and it worked MIRACLES!!! It's made especially for colicy babies. It's from the makers of Similac, but it's easiler to digest than any other formula.

Second, make sure you are not tense (I know, easier said than done), but babies sense tension around them. If you are tense and frustrated, she will sense that and become upset too. Keep yourself as calm as possible, bounce her in your arm...do NOT shake the baby. Whisper to her and sing to her while you craddle her.

About the immunizations, it is totally up to you. Personally, we always get the immunizations as long as they are mercury free, which is what our doctor's office uses. The percentage of chance that the baby will be infected with something is very small, and immunizations immunize against even more dangerous diseases. It is a personal decision for everyone though. I would read up on it and research it yourself so you can make the best decision for your child.

Boo&BugsMom replied:
We bought a bouncy seat that vibrates. Usually colicy babies like vibrations and white noise (vaccums, laundry machine, music, etc.). Oh, that reminds me...put on some classical music for her when she sleeps softly. My 4 year old STILL falls alseep to music every night.

holley79 replied: Welcome to PC. My mom was a teen mom and did wonderfully with me. You will be fine. None of use knew how to be moms prior to havnig our babies. We all still learn with each passing day.

Sounds like colic. Does she like to be swaddled? You can try that. You can also try laying with her. I would talk to the pedi. I got Annika immunizations done because the ones my Drs use are merc free and she was at a greater risk without having it done.

Best of luck to you.

ashtonsmama replied: Wow, sweetie you are very young, you're still needing parents yourself. Since you can't drive yet, I guess it wouldn't help, but we put my son in the car and drove around if he was fussy...also make sure you're burping her enough, she may be allergic to something or have gas...also try putting her in her car seat on top of the dryer, sounds funny but it worked for us.
Good luck sweetie.

7thHeaven replied: You've gotten some reeeeally good advice from the other moms! And don't hesitate to try any of them, sleep is gold. What worked for Sam was a vibrating bassinet. She wasn't really fussy that young, but it calmed her down for the times that she was. Also, what even works now for us is taking her for a drive, or like ashtonsmama said, you could put her on top of a dryer in her carseat. Best of Luck to you sweetheart!

maddie223 replied: i am so sorry i havent been on for so long! all your help has been wonderful.

My poor baby was in the intensive care unit at the children's hospital because it turned out she had a septal defect. i noticed she had faluire to thrive and would go to sleep and forget to breathe and i would have to wake her up, and about 2 weeks ago she went extremely flat and i couldnt wake her up which was really scary so i called an ambulance it was so horrible. the look on her face is going to haunt me for the rest of my life.

She has gone through 3 surgeries and is now on a high depedancy ward. i have slept by her for 2 weeks and the hospital became my home although i myself was admitted to hospital because i stopped eating and callopsed from stress and developed an bad lung infection called pneumonia. My boyfriend is sleeping at the hospital tonight... i dont want anybody to leave her sight. i love her so much. she will need regular admissions to hospital for the first 15 years of her life which really upsets me.

Has anybody had some of the same experiences with heart conditions? i am extremely worried. I have no experience with this sort of stuff. I love her so much she is just so beautiful.

1lilpeanut2love replied:
OMG! How sad! I send many prayers and pt's to your daughter, you and your family. May God bless her. You take care of yourself too!

PrairieMom replied:
vibrating bouncie seat. No home should be without one. Ours plays white noise too and it works like a charm. We have run the batteries out of it more times than I can count in the past 3 months. when the batteries die, I feel a little twinge of panic set in.

PrairieMom replied:
I'm sorry to hear about your baby. Hospitals can be so scary. Don't be afraid to use the resources they offer you, and ask lots of questions. There are some mom's on here who have children with Heart problems, hopefully you will be able to get some answers and reassurance from them.

stella6979 replied:
I also did the carseat on top of the dryer and it worked GREAT for the first month. Now she can't get enough of her swing.
Good luck Maddie and hang in there.

paradisemommy replied: i just wanted to give you big hugs , welcome you to pc and say that you sound like you are an awesome mommy despite being very young and not having much help from your parents. i hope you can stick around and give us updates of her!

mom2my2cuties replied: Gosh it sounds like your little one has been through a lot already and has a lot more to face.

My suggestion about finding moms who have dealt with this before. Ask the nurses or social workers at the hospital if there are support groups in your area or at the hospital for families of children with that disorder.

I hope you find the help & support you need!

msoulz replied: Thank goodnes you saw she was distressed and took care of her! Now don't forget to take care of yourself, which is difficult I know, but if you don't care for yourself you can't care for her!

Do the docs think this is why she had trouble sleeping?

I hope your both are well very soon.

ashtonsmama replied: I am so sorry to hear you had to go through all of that, Maddie...

I'll be sending many prayers for your baby girl and for you especially. Please keep us posted sweetheart. And I'm pretty sure that Kelly's (idahoboo) son Logan had a heart surgery or two, so I would talk to her about what to expect maybe. Good luck.

maddie223 replied: thanks so much for you're kind words.

Charlotte is back in the intensive care unit on ECMO life support after her 4th operation on her heart because they found she had another serious condition called Fallot's Tetralogy and Wolff-Parkinson-White syndrome (they are both serious heart conditions) Wolff-Parkinson-white syndrome causes her heart to beat as fast as 311 beats per minute. When she is older she may require a heart transplant but we are hoping this will not happen!

She is quite sick at the moment, i have the night off tonight because my boyfriend is at the hospital with her again. (also because we are limited to one person sleeping per bedside)

She is having more surgery at the start of september and she will be admitted to PICU again. She expected to be in the PICU for around 1 week and will be admitted to high depdenancy.

Its very terrifying waiting 6 hours for her to come out of surgery.

Thanks very much,
Maddie

moped replied:

Are your parents being supportive through all this?

I will be thinking of you

MyBrownEyedBoy replied:

I completely understand what you mean by this. It seems like such a short period of time when you're at work or school or home, but in a hospital, 6 hours seems like an eternity.
I'm Kelly (idaho_boo), my son is now nearly 2 years old. He was diagnosed at birth with a heart murmur which turned out to be caused by three things. A coarctation of the aorta, a bicuspid aortic valve and aortic stenosis. I won't bore you with more details, you will learn more about the heart than you ever wanted to know. Logan had his first heart catheterization at 4 days old, we went through 2 more and a closed heart surgery before he turned one. Then when he was about 14 months, he had a double valve replacement. We will be looking at serial valve replacements for the rest of his life. It is never easy, PICU is a very scary place. The best advice I can give you is to ignore the monitors. I am serious. Look at your baby, not the heart rate/pulse ox/respiration rate monitor. You won't have the comfort of those numbers at home. And touch her as much as you can. I swear it makes a difference. Hugs to you, you've been dealt a tough hand. But you can make it. PC is a great place to come to for support.

maddie223 replied: Hi Kelly, thanks so much, im glad to hear it from someone who has been through it all. It's true the monitors do actually make it worse, i agree with that, you find yourself staring at them constantly asking the nurses if that heart rate or resp rate is normal. It is pretty stressful seeing them go through such a thing.


I went to the hospital this morning. The doctor went to look at her site where they has operated on to see how it was going and she put her hand up onto his arm pushed him away. I was almost aplogizing for my daughters stubbon behaviour!
The cardiac surgeon said it was good news that she had enough strength to do so, so i know shes a fighter!

Im sleeping at the hospital tonight with her. They may beable to take her off the respiator soon and she will go to high depdenacy cardiology. Hopefully tomorow this will happen (fingers crossed)

My parents arent being that supportive at all, they havent even come to visit her. Im staying at my boyfriends constantly now, im fed up. His parents are very supportive compared to mine, they are gorgeous grandparents. They are offering to sleep overnight at the hospital. Ive decided to do distance education again while she's so sick but i dont think ill get much done.

Thanks,
Maddie

C&K*s Mommie replied:

ashtonsmama replied: I'm glad that she did ok in the surgery, keep us posted about her and you sweetie.

I'm sorry to hear your parents are being so unsupportive through all of this, you could really use them right now, but at least your BF's parents are helping it sounds like.

Please know that you are in my prayers and those of my family as well.

maddie223 replied: Thanks so much for praying for her ashtonsmama. I really do appricate all you're support.

I am happy to report that i just called my bf at the hospital and he said the doctor did a ward round and said almost certainly she would be moved out of the PICU in the next 2-3 days although 1 day is not possible, but thats still good!

MyBrownEyedBoy replied: Yeah, the step down unit is just down the road!!! Congratulations on passing the first hurdle. I was so happy to read that she was pushing away the doctor. When Logan did that after his first surgery, I was thrilled.
If you ever need to talk to a mom who has BTDT, let me know, I'd be more than happy to share my experiences with you. Keep up the fight Charlotte. And you keep taking care of yourself, Maddie. Charlotte needs you to be well! I mean it.

amymom replied: lots of prayers for you and Charlie!

ashtonsmama replied:
You're so welcome sweetie. She'll continue to be in my daily prayers, and of course you and your BF too. I can't imagine how scared you must be.

maddie223 replied: Update on charlie

She is doing really well, she is out of the PICU and in the HDU cardiology. Its about 4 days until the next operation, but she is doing extremely well!!!
She is on tube feeding because she is too weak to suck at the moment. She is off the ventilator and looks a lot better than she did!
she is doing a lot better than the doctors thought she would! she is a strong girl!

Thankyou for you're prayers

MoonMama replied: Oh my goodness sweetie bless your heart. I know I'm new here but you, Charlie and your BF will all be in my thoughts and prayers.

Boo&BugsMom replied:
I'm so sorry to hear that. Even when our babies make choices we don't agree with, it's still so important to be there with them when they need us. I hope you will find comfort and support with his parents. You really need all the support you can get. Maybe in time, they will come around

1lilpeanut2love replied: Continued prayers to your baby girl!

I am SO sorry that your parents aren't supportive. How sad???!!!