I Need Some Advice... - Problem with Another Board I Post On

Kirstenmumof3 wrote: I don't know if it's because I'm sick, but I think some women on another board I post on is attacking me. It's a support group message board for people with BPD, I won't go into all the details. Anyway I posted a little more indepth on that board about how I was feeling and this women was the first to respond to my post. She said she felt bad for the way I was feeling, but that she was going through a rough time herself. It was like she was saying that I was making this whole thing up! Anyway I've always tried to be very a supportive of the members on this board. But like I guess what I've heard said here as well is that if you don't really know what to say, you just don't respond to the post. Well I responded to her post, was the first one to respond, but she started another thread. So I don't even know if she recieved my reply. If I've lost you, I appologize, I'm just trying to keep this pretty vague. Anyway, she thanked everyone else on that responded to her post by leaving this long personal messages. But for me all I got was "THANKS!" I don't know! I've gotten this a lot on that board, I'm very knew to the board, only been involved actively for about 4 mths, but I've been a member for about a year. So I don't know everyone, but they all have seemed to have formed these little cligues and they all seem to know each other pretty well. I don't have time (like I know a lot of you) here to respond to all of the posts. So I don't get a lot of replies when I post there. But that does not mean that I don't take the time to reply to the ones I can. Does that make sense? Just to reassure everyone, I'm not talking about this message board. Okay that got a little long. How should I go about handling things with this person? Should I just drop it? Should I just stop responding to her messages? I don't know! This whole message board thing is still so foreign to me.

mckayleesmom replied: I would just ignore her, but I think she was being rude...she didn't have time to give you some encouragement, yet, she had time to tell you she had problems of her own? Thats not very supportive. If she is so overwelmed that she can't support someone then she shouldn't respond at all. Maybe you should try to find another board. If you do find another board, just explain that the last one you were at was really cliquity and you are looking for a board that is really open to all its members.

Kirstenmumof3 replied: Thanks Brianne! I really appreciate your advice. I think I'm going to do as you suggested and just ignore her. There aren't very many support groups for people with BPD, so I might have a problem in that area. But I will do a search and see what I come up with.

mckayleesmom replied: Have you thought of starting your own perhaps? That way you are queen of the board and ruler of all....lol

coasterqueen replied: Kirsten,

I'm not sure what to say, or what I'd do. I guess I'd just try to ignore it at this point. If people there aren't understanding that you don't have all day to post to every post then to me they are not worth it.

We all know here that everyone doesn't have time to post to all. Some days I have time to post to all and probably more and then there are days where I have no time at all.

I would try not to take it personal at this point, but it's hard to analyze the situation not being there. I know I'm not helping . It sounds like maybe she has something against you or your situation....jealousy maybe?

Just know we love you here .

Kirstenmumof3 replied: Awwww Thanks Karen! You're so sweet! And yes you were helpful!

Boys r us replied: Kirsten, unfortunately there are a lot of people out there who are only there to get support for themselves and no matter how much support they get from their own posts, they STILL hijack other people's posts and threads and use those to get more attention from themselves. there are going to be little groups no matter where u go and I've found the best way to deal with it is to just ignore it and keep on replying to there threads..set an example of how a supportive community SHOULD work..even if you're getting ignored by one or two people, just keep on smiling and reply reply reply to all of there posts..kill them with kindness! Maybe if you're lucky it will make her feel like a jerk!

kit_kats_mom replied: I would just drop it and leave. I think you were on the Sept EC at Ivillage back when we were all pregnant and you were the center of big blow up there right? (If I've gotten you confused with someone else, my apologies). I thought that the ladies there were really rude to you and that's one of the main reasons I left.

I try my best to not get too tied up in the board but it's hard. There are a lot of new members here recently and frankly, I wait until someone has been around for quite awhile before I start responding to their posts unless there is a specific question I can answer. There are too many trolls out there looking to stir up trouble KWIM? I don't have time for the drama and as much as I'd like to be able to support everyone, I generally stick with the ladies who've been around here since I joined or the Newbies who've "proven" themselves over time.

I'm sorry that you are having a difficult time finding support for your problem. That's got to be tough. HUgs

Kirstenmumof3 replied: Thanks Nicole! I really appreciate this advice. I will continue to just post when I can, to the topics I can relate too!


Cary you're right it was me with that big blow up. That was a difficult thing for me to take and I left as a result. Although I kept replying to the posts, even to the ones that hurt me so badly. Thank You so much for your advice.


THANK YOU EVERYONE! I've said this before and I have to say it again YOU'RE ALL THE GREATEST! I don't know what I would do without all of your support!

ediep replied: I agree with everyone else too, that lady was just being rude. Try no to take it personally. I, too, was over at Ivill in the sept 02 EC and I remember all that drama.... it is the main reason I left there too.

we are all here for oyu

Maddie&EthansMom replied: Kirsten I am going through something similar with a girl on another board I frequent. I was just going to post about it. It is frustrating and I'm sorry you are feeling this way. We love you here and understand what you have been through. We always know you care about us...even when you don't have a lot of time to post. Hang in there.

Kirstenmumof3 replied: Thanks Aimee and Edie! That really means a lot to me!