How on earth do you do this?

MyBrownEyedBoy wrote: It is one of my New Year's resolutions to have Logan potty trained before his third birthday. It is absolutely against my principles to have a 3 year old in diapers. But Logan has absolutely no qualms about sitting in a wet or dirty diaper. He shows no interest in using the potty for anything other than a chair. We have several potty books, but he really just looks at the pictures and says potty. My mom trained me at 18 months, he's 26 almost 27 months now. Is there some trick, or do I let him run around streaking and put him on the pot every 20 minutes? Could it be that he's just stubborn or is he not ready? I really want to do this as easily as possible. I have friends here that say if it doesn't happen in a week's time, the child isn't ready and to wait a couple more months. Does that hold true?
Also, he's been poo hoarding lately. Waiting a couple days between poops and then crying when he finally goes. Grr! My brother did this and I remember my mom and dad having fits with him over it.

msoulz replied:

Maybe it's a boy thing, but my son was the same way. He didn't poop train until he was 4 and I don't remember when he potty trained, but he was way too interested in what was going on around him to care if he was wet and/or dirty - he just wanted to play and not take the time to go to the bathroom. He also wore a pull up at night until he was almost 5.

We had a really special toy he could play with when he went poop on the potty, and when he used the diaper, the toy had to go back into the bathroom until he used the potty again. That worked for a while.

Although one time at daycare he dropped his pants and emptied his diaper on the driveway (how delightful it was to hear that story!) when he was probably 3 or early 4.

I know diapers are a pain but stubborn little kids can make it last a lot longer if they dig in their heels, which I think they will do if they are pushed.

I guess I'd agree with those that said give it time but don't push it. Good luck!!

MyBrownEyedBoy replied: I remember my aunt and uncle having a bowl of yellow and brown M&Ms and their son got a candy for each time he went potty. Color coded of course. I really don't want to resort to "poop M&Ms" as Luke so wonderfully put it, but I'm not above toy bribery I suppose.

PrairieMom replied: We had "poo Cars" he'd get one hot wheels per poo. He now has over 100. Thank goodness we FINALLY broak him of THAT habit! Thats a buck a poo!

Hillbilly Housewife replied: As far as I'm concerned, "if a child isn't going after a week it's because he's not ready" is crock. TO ME - if a child isn't going after one week, the parents aren't making a big enough deal of it, or they're making too much of a big deal.

I mean... if I was a kid, being bribed with candy... and knowing that my parents would practically throw a party if I went poo in the potty, I'd stick with doing it in my pants and having them exasperated enough to do just that, keep throwing me poop parties!!

lol

Sorry if that offends you... I've potty trained my two older kids early, as well as the younger daycare kid. Who still does it in his pants regularly at home... but hasn't had an accident here really since september.

Ps - let me know if something doesn't seem right... I'm trying to get the right words out to expalin what I'm saying, but I have a feeling it's not b een said rigbht...

MyBrownEyedBoy replied: Rocky, it doesn't offend me at all. I kind of think that a week of consistent training should do the job. I was planning on taking one of my weeks off and turning it into potty week. That would be basically all we'd do for 7 days. No pullups except at nap/bed time. Underwear or naked. And the avoidance of bribery makes sense too. It is a natural function that adults don't get treats for doing, just a part of growing up. Hopefully, in 2007, I can help Logan become a big boy. That's the plan anyway.

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: Well for Wil, the reason I suspected he was ready is that he was getting into his poop (ie; taking off his diaper and handing me poop) and also saying "poo-poo" when he was dirty. I also bought him a potty chair and all by himself, went over to it and pee'd in it. I had it in his closet and I guess he found it one day. I never tried to push him to go on it, that's why I hid it. But I lifted the lid one day and there was pee! SO we tried on the toilet and now that's where he prefers to go.

If you see from my post, we're having setbacks, but I'm just going to keep at it. I don't give him a reward, but just an applause and a "good job, you went potty". He likes that and claps with me! A friend of mine said they did the potty dance when her kids went. You can try that.

I've heard that staying home for a week and just keep putting him on the pot works...but who knows. Everyone has different ways...just go with your gut I guess! GL!

booey2 replied: Not sure if I can offer advice, my mom trained me using Smarties many moons ago and both my boys were mostly trained by the babysitter (she is like a family member to them). I do know that it varies greatly from child to child. Both my boys trained late and Thomas only this past month has started to stay dry at night (he turned 5 last Thursday) and we are really happy because now I don't have to buy pull-ups. Then there is the other extreme where the sitter's 2 year old nephew is fully day and night trained. He will come around. Thomas did start earlier because we had an open door policy with the bathroom and he got to see his brother and dad and wanted to copy them so that helped.

It will happen.

Terri

C&K*s Mommie replied: We are in the midst of home training Kellie. And if she is with me, than we public train her, but for the most part we are taking it one step at a time.

The "one week" rule imo is false too. Consistency and not turning back to pull-ups/diapers to decrease the confusion may be what is needed. I am sure Kellie gets confused with having a diaper on for nighttime/naps. But I tell her they are only for naps/night time. If we are out in public I still have her use the public potty regardless of the diapers. She is getting good at "listening to her body" too and telling me (sometimes nothing comes out, but I am happy she told me anyhow).

Your plan to be consistent and to work with him sounds fabulous. You can do it, and so can he.

Kaitlin'smom replied: yes it is possbile but for me the CHILD has to be ready, that said you have to find what works for you and the child. I did let Kait Pick out her reward for good poo in the potty cause the pee came so easily to be trained. I woudl be careful if he is withholding poo now forcing him to be trained by age 3 might make it worse. I know a few on hear have has to deal with poo issues and with holding. For me it was stages and it did go rather quick first it was master going pee then we added the poo, and then night which was done way easier than I ever imigined, but she was READY she was fully trained night and day before 3 years old, I have been told boys dont train as easy or as fast, I really cant say its true or not everyone is different. PUll up hindered her during the day on the poo so I switched to reg undies and had 2 accidents after I showed her what she did, not making a big deal either way she decided it was discusting and never did it again. I hope you find what works for you all and best of luck.

paradisemommy replied: we used a sticker chart - (and this was for night time)...when he stayed dry for 7 straight nights, i took him to the toy store and bought him whatever toy he wanted.

A&A'smommy replied: OH kelly honey I SOOOOOO know how you feel... I'm not really sure about the whole weeks time thing that did NOT work for us.. we just went through the SAME thing wih lissa she wouldn't stop for ANYTHING to go potty. Now if you KNOW he knows what he is suppose to do and just having a hard time with it start out with rewards and lots of them we have a reward bucket (halloween candy) we also have stickers, dora her fav. character. Next if he is hoarding if you KNOW he has to go sit him on the potty and make BIG deal about him being there and then when he goes go overboard with excitement (BTW it might take a LONG time we had about a week of sitting on the potty about 3 times a day for 45minutes or longer and somedays she still didn't use the potty) not at first we ignored accidents but that didn't work for some reason she was starting to think it was okay to do that and she was allowing herself to get too busy SOOOO we had to start getting onto her for it and after about another week of her getting into trouble for accidents that could have been prevented she FINALLY got the idea and is FINALLY potty trained that was actually about a week after she turned 3. Another thing is DON"T put diapers or pull ups on him at anytime it can be avoided EVEN for outings, and if he slips away and gets quiet QUICKLY check on him because he might be have a "accident".... Good luck and remember he will get potty trained!!

CantWait replied: Kelly, I can only tell you what we did at home that worked for us.

Strip the pullups and diapers all together, put underwear on.....it's a different kind of wetness, and it bugged both my boys. So did having a lump in the butt

I took them to the potty as soon as they woke up, half hour after having drinks, or meals, before naps and bedtime, before baths when the water was running, when I went potty, they would go potty. Just keep being consistent with it.

I used stickers for Anthony which he loved, daycare used stamps.

It did take a little longer then one week, it was probably closer to a month before he was completely done, and night training took another year and a half, but since he's closer to 3 now, it will probably take shorter.

Boo&BugsMom replied: I'd have to agree with Rocky. When it comes to a child being stubborn on the potty, you have to gain control and put your foot down. I'm not afraid to punish a child for being incooperative, because usually at that age it's not because they are not ready, it's because they just don't want to, and that doesn't fly with me. I don't deal with laziness, which is what it is, for lack of a better term. Just my opinion. Put him in undies, take him to the potty every 30 minutes, and leave him in there to do his business until he goes. Keep him filled with liquids so he has to go. Also, don't ASK him if he has to go, tell him to go and try. Of course kids are going to say "No I don't have to go". After 5 days or so, he should get it. I may sound mean, but I feel we have become such an enabling society that allows children too much control, in general. Sorry if I was harsh, I've just seen so much of the "he/she isn't ready or doesn't want to go" crap in the last 7-8 years I've been working and running daycare centers it is ridiculous.

Off my soapbox..........

ETA: I honestly don't think that boys are harder than girls. Tanner was trained, pee and poop, by 2 1/2. I just didn't give him a choice, picked a day on the calendar and told him "this day we are wearing underwear from now on", and the rest is history. I've trained countless amount of boys and girls are in my experiences there are not any distinct differences in hardness/easiness other than the extra plumbing you have to deal with.

I also started Tanner by sitting down, which made it easier, if that helps.

Ok, I'm done...I think.

mummy2girls replied: oh Kelly i am dealing with a stubborn boy in my dayhome as well. He turned 2 in april and he is 32 months old. he will nto sit onteh potty ata ll. nothing worked with him, i tried stickers, jellybeans and such.. nothing! he would rather sit in a pee diaper or poo one. I am going to buy abunch of boy tyraining underwear and try that.. but if you come up with anythign please share with me

C&K*s Mommie replied: Just remember if our parents trained us, or they themselves were trained by 12mos than it may be more difficult, but you can do it.

They did not have pull ups, and diapers were likely an additional expense for many of our parents too that they could do without.

It is possible, though it takes time. Just know that we are here cheering you and Logan on.

Hillbilly Housewife replied:
See I have an isse with this... I never would really give 'treats' really to a child that won't go potty... to each his own though, of course. I can't cope with seeing a 3 or 4 year old in diapers... not around ME, anyways. to me, it just seems like the parents are giving a little bit too much control over it to the child...

Let me explain, before some of you think Ièm dissing the fact that your 3 or 4 year old isn't potty trained. Cuz I'm not...

Children are extremely intelligent. Smart enough to realize, at quite an early age, that any attention is better than no attention, even if it's negative attention. Children see 'diaper changes' as 'bonding time' with a parent... especially if the parent takes time with it - rubbing the baby, cooing etc... it's a nice time. Many parents make diaper changes fun for the child...cuz many children hate diaper changes once they can move around. (again, not dissing the parents... it's a natural expectation that the parent would like to make a 'bad experience' as pleasant as possible to facilitate the diaper change.) And so the child wants to keep that 'special time' going as long as they can. Who wants to change a good thing?

As far as I'm concerned, doing your business is as natural as it gets... and it's only appropriate that the child does his/her business where he/she 'should' be doing his business. So, with that frame of mind, once I've made up my mind that the child is physically ready to use the bathroom (can hold it in) then they do. Simple as that, no arguments with me and the kids I train.

I never really used a potty for the kids... it was right to the toilet. Sitting on the toilet, holding themselves up by holding me, or by holding the toilet seat... and a ltitle bit of praise... but in the grand scheme of things, too much praise can be bad... especially if there are treats involved... because like a dog (not comparing kids to dogs...just work with me... ) a child will learn to only do the 'trick' when there's a treat coming. Think of it this way... 'clicker training' a dog is better in the interest of the dog rather than giving a treat once the correct 'trick' is learned, because it points out the behavoiur wanted by the 'click', and redirection. Same with a child... using the toilet when there is the urge to 'go' is what should be 'pointed out', not the fact that the child gets a treat when he 'goes'.

Maybe I'm not expalining myself properly...

quinnandjacob'smom replied: I had an awful time with Quinn too. I tried a million things I'd heard about, but nothing seemed to work. He was coming up on 3 and he was going to start preschool. His teacher told me she'd give him until the end of Oct and if he wasn't trained he'd have to leave. I couldn't have a 3yo preschool dropout, so I just threw out the pullups, put on the undies and started taking him to the bathroom every 30 minutes. And honestly, after a few incidents of having wet, cold, smelly legs and socks, he started going on the potty. It took about a week and a half. He wasn't night trained for several months, but I didn't worry as much about that. And I never offered him another concrete reward. I just told him he'd done a good job. I learned a lot for when it's time to start with Jacob, which will be happening in a few months I hope. I'm praying he'll be easier. Best of luck to you, wishing you lots of success

Boo&BugsMom replied:


I also think that some kids hold back on showing their readiness. Meaning, some kids are physically ready, but they don't show it because they just don't care and literally use their diaper as their toilet. Kids are smart, and sometimes even when they aren't showing all the signs, they many times CAN, they just aren't. If that made sense...

Kaitlin'smom replied: I do understand your point rocky, it did make sence and if that whats work for you then great, thankfully once Kait was ready she trained night and day fast. All before 3 yrs old, she probably could have been trained sooner but I was not ready to let my baby go, I know it was wrong of me and I learned from it and if I were to have another it would be different. Yes I did use suckers for #2 for a while but once she was doing it regulary it stoped, she did not ask I did not offer. I had planed to wean from them but did not have to.

Hillbilly Housewife replied:
Yeah I know how you feel, kind of... I have the feeling that I will try to keep Naomie as "baby" as I can for as long as I can... my widdle biddle baby is getting too big...

blue72 replied: Potty trained in a week. I need someone to teach this to me. It took me months to train my 1st 2 boys completely. Jake just turned 2 and I am just starting to train him. I just ditch the diapers and pull ups and use stickers for reward. I think the hardest part for me is to realize how much time has passed. If I could keep track of time better, I could get him on the potty before he goes in his training pants.

Maddie&EthansMom replied: With Maddie she pretty much decided when she was ready and she did it with very little cajoling on my part. I introduced at 2, by 2.5 she was going on her own and yes, it only took a week. We just stayed home when she was out of preschool for Christmas break and I put panties on her and asked her every 30 mins or so if she needed to go. No pull ups b/c those are just diapers and they don't get the 'feel' of it.

I've introduced Ethan and he's just not ready. I refuse to make it a bad experience and make him sit on the toilet when he just doesn't understand the concept yet. Then he'll hate it and it will be that much longer til he's trained. I do sit him on the potty before each bath and periodically thru the day, but so far, nothing. I haven't tried underwear on him yet...I plan to try that after the holidays. I think I will sit down and explain to him that the diapers are all gone and from now on we will be wearing the big boy underwear (probably Thomas since he loves Thomas)

I read this article and found it interesting: http://www.stlouischildrens.org/tabid/88/i...aight-Talk.aspx

Not only do they have to be ready, but their bodies have to be ready, too. Their spinal cord has to be fully functioning and developed or as the article says, it could lead to problems later on (like bed wetting, etc)...I also read this somewhere else that explained it in further depth, but I can't seem to find it right now. I'll let you know if I run across it.

Good luck and try to make it fun.