How often

Maddie&EthansMom wrote: do you leave your child with a babysitter so you and DH can go out? Is this person someone you know? If not, how did you find them? Are they qualified in CPR?

Maddie and Ethan have never been left with anyone other than my parents or REALLY close family. There are times when I'm not able to leave them with family and so I miss out on lots of things b/c I don't have a sitter. (my mother is not dependable anymore) A friend of mine who has a baby Ethan's age suggested we trade off babysitting one another's children once a month so we can get out with our husband's more. I think that time with your spouse is so important. Both kids know her real well and I trust her completely. She will even keep them at our house if we need her to. Which is perfect for the wedding coming up.

Just wondering what you all do in these situations.

coasterqueen replied: UGH! A long time ago DH and I promised each other we'd have date night once a month. That lasted about 2 months. With Kylie nursing it was just too difficult. She's always just stayed with my parents or my sister, though. She's stayed the night with my parents back in July for 3 days..well now she has some "issue" and every time we go near my parents house she screams and won't stay with them. I guess she associates their house with the fact that we left her overnight. She had a great time while she was there, though .

So we've basically not had any time to ourselves...now with this little one on the way...UGH...who knows when we'll get to go out alone again, especially with BF this new one too.

I keep telling myself someday I'm going to call my school district and ask if they have any teens that are interested in sitting. But I haven't done it yet.

amynicole21 replied: I think that trading with another mom is a great solution! We've never left Sophia with anyone but MIL or SIL... and even then it's been about 6 times since she was born

megsmommie replied: When DF and I go out, I leave them with my mom. She is not CPR certified, but she did take a class and at one time was certified. =-)

kit_kats_mom replied: when we lived near my mom, she would come over every Wednesday night for a couple of hours to watch K.

Now that we've moved, we havent' found a good evening sitter but I think we may have something in the works. Apparently a lady that my DH works with has two teenaged daughters (12 & 15) who LOVE kids. We are going to have them over one evening to just get aqquainted with K and let them see what her routine is. I'll offer to pay for CPR training and/or the babysitting course at the YMCA if I'm comfortable with them.

My daytime sitter also gave me some numbers of ladies who work in her churches childcare center. Apparently they are all available for babysitting too. I'd like to try to find one person to be her primary sitter at least once a week for a couple of hours.

KatieLeigh79 replied: I have left John with uncertified people but not for more then an hour or two and its normally only during the day, we haven't had a real night out since (?) November will be hard for me, his work is paying for us to go on a cruise so we are leaving him in FL with his parents for the week - at first I didn't want to go but with him being over 1 I'm thinking his mom can't kill him to easily

Alice replied: For what it's worth, I'm not CPR certified. I was once, but that was about 1983.

We use sitters all the time. I do lots of tutoring after school, so the girls down the block (twin 15 year olds, and their 19 year old sister when she's home from college) watch the kids. They've been doing that for 4 years now. In the beginning, when we went out, either the older sister would watch the kids or both twins. Now any of the three can do the job. When they do sit, their mom, my good friend, is usually home. If not, I trust their judgement as to when to call for help-- they've never had to, Thank God.

But I think the best way to break in sitters is the way I did (naturally!) Have them spend some time as a Mother's Helper while they and your child(ren) get used to each other. Mop the floor, do laundry, take a bath, read a book. Just be within shouting distance in case of a problem. Then graduate to food-shoppin-with-a-cell-phone and similar scenarios, where you're nearby and can be home in 5 minutes. It's going to cost you some money that you probably could have saved. But when you do go out for an extended period of time, you'll feel a lot better.

And by the way, our "girls" are now part of the family. When they were bored over the summer, they came and got my kids and took them for a walk, or brought them into their pool (with mom nearby) or my kiddie pool (and I could stay in the house!) Last winter one of the twins was grounded (for not completing a school project until the last minute.) She wasn't allowed to enjoy the snow day with her friends sledding, but she was allowed to take Brian sledding at the local schoolyard. So she did- for 3 hours. They're worth their weight in gold!!

kimberley replied: the only people i have left any of the kids with under 3yo are grandparents i feel too guilty leaving my baby with someone who is not close to me and would worry and have a miserable time... so i just don't do it. i agree about finding alone time with DH to reconnect. it is so important that first couple of years after a baby because it is so easy to drift apart by being busy with baby . i say if you feel good about this friend, do a trial run. go for coffee and desert one night and if it all goes well, you will feel better about her coming over to babysit the next time i think if i had a close friend that the kids knew well, i might do the same thing. good luck!

Mom2Boyz replied: The only people Conner has stayed with are my parents and Larrys parents. I've never even considered leaving him with anyone else.

loveydad replied: Not often and it's usually just some of the kids that are there. There's high schoolers here that I trust to watch Nicky (1) and Andriana (10 months) if she's one of the kids i'm watching that night (henry usually has her of course). I trust 2 teenagers to watch the twins and ONLY the twins (6 months), so if I leave all those four I have three high schoolers who watch. I trust two 13=14 year olds that I know really well to watch Vincent and Kel (5) and Tracy (2). Only once have I had a problem with them. One snuck into my room and was looking around.

To take the whole lot, I only trust Henry and his girlfreind, or some of the grandparents.

Usually I leave everyone but the b/g twins unless Henry's babysitting.

ediep replied: Jason has been babysat by my mom, my mil, my sister and once by a friend. The only time he was with a friend was for my sisters wedding and that was because everyone in my family and my mil were at the wedding.
We rarely ever go out without Jason. The last time was for our anniversary on July 2. My sister stayed with Jason

paradisemommy replied: we've only left taven with my mil/fil and my mom and dad. i don't trust anyone especially not family. but i think it would be totally cool if you knew and were friends with someone that you could trade off babysitting for alone time with dh..i think that would be ideal if ykwim!!

Elle replied: My sister and I agreed to do 'children trading' once a month, starting next January That way Nat and I will take care of my niece and nephew while my sis and BIL go out and vice-versa. I don't know what I would do if my sister didn't live near to my house!

aspenblue1 replied: When we go out either my MIL or my mother watch Isabella. A few times a couple of our friends have watched her.

mama3x replied: We don't leave DD with anyone. Therefore we haven't been anywhere as just a couple since she came home last August from the NICU. It's not a huge deal mainly because we don't have $$$ to spend on going out.

I would love to have a sitter once in a great while but...it doesn't feel right at this time. It's a long story but things are ok with us.

With DS and my prev DH, we used to let my grandmother watch him. She can't watch DD now, she doesn't have the strength or speed to keep up.

MomToMany replied: Not very ofen. The only person I've left the kids with is my mom. The only time I've left Kayla was to go to my Dr.'s appointment for a physical. I'm BFing, so I can't be away very long.

It's been a long time since DH & I have gone anywhere alone. But that's what happens when there is little kids in the house .

Boys r us replied: We believe strongly in that parents need time away, becoming a parent doesn't mean that you morph into a mom and a dad and never look back. I think it is key to still stay connected as husband and wife. So we go out at least every other week. Sometimes once a week. The kids always stay with family..either my parents or Ricks. They LOVE to spend the night at nannie's or grammie's and I LOVE to spend the night with my husband..so it works out great for all of us!

If both of our parents weren't close by and ready and willing to watch them, I would probably call an old teacher of mine who teaches early childhood education at the local high school and see if she could give me some names.

My2Beauties replied: We definitely make time for ourselves. Why Hanna is staying with my mom tonight because she is off tomorrow and wants to keep her. I think it's really important to have alone time with your SO. We're lucky in the sense that grandparents are more than willing to watch Hanna while we get away. I had a friend watch her one time at my house and that was disaster. I won't let anyone that doens't have kids watch Hanna except my soon to be BIL and SIL.

Schnoogly replied: When Iain was about 10 months old I got a recommendation for an older lady who just loves kids and will take anything we can pay her. She was so loving to Iain and held him as much as he wanted and she even stayed with him while he napped and held him if he needed it. She watched him during the day while I worked once we took him out of daycare and he really started to love her, he'd reach out for her and didn't cry when I dropped him off. She had watched my friend's two kids since they were babies (for 10 years) so I felt pretty secure with her.

So she watches him sometimes--once every couple months--while we go out. I actually am more comfortable with her than my mom--my mom isn't strong enough to carry him around and take care of him like he needs. he wears her out!!

KatieLeigh79 replied: Wow, sadly I have forgotten what its like to spend the night alone in the house with my hubby and normally when we aren't alone its me in the livingroom rocking J.R. all night because he still hates to sleep and DH snoring away in the bedroom with the door shut....

A&A'smommy replied: We try to make time for ourselves but it doesn't happen very often but when it does my Mil or my mom watches Alyssa they are the only ones that I let keep her we let my SIL watch her one time for like an hour (my parents picked her up when they got home) and I was not pleased with her!

Schnoogly replied: Oh Katie, we'd NEVER go out at night!! No way anyone could deal with his bedtime antics. If we go out it's to a saturday matinee so it's during his "happy time" and we are home by dinner and bedtime, no interruption of routine.

And I can relate to not wanting anyone to watch a baby who had been in the NICU. I think Iain was 6 months old before my mom even watched him for an hour so we could go out to dinner, and we called about every 5 minutes. There was no way I could leave him with anyone, no way I could put that kind of guilt on someone if something happened, if he had a tet spell or something.

Isabellasmom replied: My boyfriend and I try to go out once a month instead of staying in with take-out all the time. When we do go out, either my mother or my daughters father watches her. But that's it. She's never been left with a babysitter other then family since I have so many relatives so close by.

KatieLeigh79 replied: DH gave me that anniversary gift of a gym membership (yup still confused on that one) but I am going to start tonight after John goes down at 7:30 - they are open until Midnight and he will normally sleep at least 2 hours when he first sleeps at night so I am going to go do it from 7:30-9 at night hopefully 3 to 5 nights a week, otherwise I will get mad if he spent that much and it never gets used, and I'm thinking the time away and physical aspect of it may do me some good being it is normally just chasing after him and spending the nights up with him, change of scenery may help me sleep better when I do ....

MomToJade&Jordan replied: My DH and I went that Luau with my parents about three weeks ago and that was the first time in a long time that we have had some sort of date. Since we are very far away from our parents we usually leave Jade with some good friends here on base. They have kids of their own and we usually don't leave her for too long. We are going to go see Journey at the end of Oct. So we will probably leave her with one of our friends then. We are always trading off actually. I will watch their kids every once in a while. It's on of those things that make the "Air Force family" so great.

Kaitlin'smom replied: so far other than her reg sitter during the day kaitlin has only been left with family. DH and I need to get back to having a date at least once a month, I miss it and I feel like we are drifting right now, we are going away for a few days next month I am hoping it will do us both some good and we can see how important we need time just us. I am also hoping we can do a couples ngiht with sis and BIL once in a while, so then a sitter will be needed unless we get our parents to watch the 3 kids.