How does DH get along with your mom?

luvmykids wrote: I know we've talked about our MIL's, but what about DH and your mom?

DH has never really made much effort with my parents and it's starting to really hurt my feelings. I'm not just saying this b/c they're my parents, but they have been so great to him and he just blows them off.

They called him last night to tell him good luck for that meeting today and he didn't answer the phone or call them back, and he won't answer our home phone if it's them. When they come over he won't move from the front of the TV and acts like they're bugging him, and he refuses to go to their house.

He doesn't have to adore them, just be respectful at the least. He still hasn't said a word to my mom about her dad passing away, and he's seen her at least a dozen times. And even if he hadn't, he could call for that at least.

Anyway, sorry this turned into a vent. But how do your DH and his MIL get along?

kimberley replied: sorry your dh is being like that. i know mine comes off that way sometimes but he is just not a talker and is shy. being around my family takes him out of his comfort zone and he retreats. i wish things were different for both of us.

and he has zero relationship with my mom cuz she lives on the other side of the country... where she rightly belongs lol

Our Lil' Family replied: Sorry to hear that. I can tell it's really bothering you and I think I'd feel the same way. Fortunately my DH loves my mom. They get along really well.

Is there any reason your DH acts like that around them? Is he that way with anyone else from your family?

kayla's mama replied: Sorry he is like that That would hurt me too.

Jason and my mom get along great.

Has your mom said something to him to make him feel that way?

Kirstenmumof3 replied: My DH fits in better with my family than I do! My mother loves him and they get along so great! My DH is flying my mom to Toronto to be with me for a few days.

~Roo'sMama~ replied: I'm sorry he's like that too.

My dh gets along fine with my parents. They're not chummy or anything but I think they have a pretty good relationship.

MyLuvBugs replied: My DH and My Mom get along perfect. I think sometimes she love him more than me. lol

luvmykids replied:
He's like that with my entire family. The only run in I know if is after I had Macie, my mom had been staying with the twins and she asked him to come home for a little bit so she could come see us and he acted all irritated. So she said forget it, then the next day when we were coming home from the hospital she asked him to stop and get some flowers for me and he didn't and it bugged her and she told him she wanted me to come home to something nice and they got into it a little bit.

I guess it's just him, he's not flat out rude, but I always feel like I have to explain or make excuses for him.

Mommy2Isabella replied: Sal and my mom get along good! She pokes fun at him, and he laughs ... haha no it is def. not a fight to get him to go over there. Same way with my dad ... !

My3LilMonkeys replied: DH and my mom don't get along too well. They tolerate each other but my mom drives DH crazy.

luvmykids replied:
That makes me feel a little better, TFS

NEWMOM05 replied: That must be really hard for you.

My Dh and mom get along really well, but then sometimes she drives him nuts.

MyBlueEyedBabies replied:
Same here. Except she told me she would keep him.

MyBrownEyedBoy replied: Aaron and my family don't get along really well either. He won't answer the phone if he knows it's them unless I absolutely can't, like Logan is in the bath. And the last time we visited them as a couple was when Logan was 3 months old. I've seen them several times since then. He just won't make any effort. It is one of the things that really gripes me. But then, there are so many others.

CosmetologyMommy replied: He gets along better with my mom than I do!

3xsthefun replied: Sorry he acts that way.

Rob gets along with my parents really well.

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: I'm so sorry your DH is acting that way Monica...is there a reason behind it? Or he just isn't interested?

My mom and Rich get along really well. Not to the point where they call each other on the phone, but if my mom calls and he answers, he will talk with her for awhile. She of course asks most of the questions, but that's okay. DH almost never makes comments about my parents although I know they have their quirks, where I'm probably the bad one and talk about MIL all the time to DH. I'm trying to get better at that! But when it comes to quirks, she definitely has more than my mom! DH would have to agree!

luvmykids replied:
I dunno, I guess thats why it's so frustrating. I think I could understand if there were a reason. I think part of it is that my dad (step dad, but the one I consider my dad) is a pastor, I think DH is paranoid and assumes they're totally uncool, but I can honestly say neither has said anything judgemental to him, and they are actually really fun.

The last time we came to a head about it was on Thanksgiving, we just spent the entire day with his family (and I spent the entire day before baking and cooking) and then we couldn't even go to my parents for pie because he was "tired". I lost it and told him that if he didn't care about them he didn't care about me and basically threw him out of the car at our hotel and me and the kids went without him. I've backed off since then hoping he'd come around on his own. But so far ... nope.

eta: I think another reason it bothers me is his mom drives me crazy but I never avoid her and when they visit I treat them great. And I'm extremely close to FIL and his fiance. I feel like the reason I'm close to his family is b/c I made the effort do so initially out of respect for DH but we all ended up truly loving each other. And my parents really do treat him like a son but he doesn't return any of it, and it hurts their feelings, which in turn bothers me.

kit_kats_mom replied: My Dh likes my mom and he gets along well with her. He does think she's a bit too pro-woman for him (she does have some man bashing issues) but since I sat her down and explained that I've got a good one, don't go bashing all men around him. She gotten better

Kaitlin'smom replied: they get along good. He will call my dad more often than mom but her talks to her when she calles or when he calls and she answers the phone. They love my DH and for a very long time it was the only 'son' they liked He also likes to pick on her about certain things and she LOVES it cause she picks right back.

C&K*s Mommie replied: Sorry about the non-existent relationship with your DH and your mother, Monica. It must hurt you more than you can explain.

As for my DH and my mother, they get along very well. They are always picking on each other, and I have yet to hear something negative come out of each others mouths about the other. With the exception of Chris' line of work, she had mentioned a time or two in the past that he may need to consider choosing something different, then again my father is always eluding to things like that too.

BAC'sMom replied: They get along GREAT. But they would have to since we live next door to each other. They buck heads every once in a while but for the most part things run smoothly. On some days I think my Mom likes him more than she likes me.

My2Beauties replied: I'm sorry about that Monica, I would definitely talk with your DH about this as this would hurt me a great deal.

My DH gets along wonderfully with both my mom and dad, they love him to death. I think my dad sometimes gets frustrated with him, but only because I vent to my dad about him I know that is so bad, but a lot of the times he tells me that we're married and we need to work it out and that I knew this going into it and blah blah blah it's a two way street, so he does take up for him when I slam him sometimes He makes me look at it from the man's point of view. But Brian respects and loves both of my parents!

coasterqueen replied: My dad and Ryan get along really well because they both know about all that carpentry stuff. They help each other out on projects and dad is constantly referring to his expertise on electrical engineering.

My mother and Ryan get along really well too. Granted my mom is short a few marbles and Ryan knows that, but that actually helps him 'deal' with who she is and how she is. I wouldn't say he's CRAZY about her but he tolerates her a TON better than I tolerate ANY of his family. He loves my mom's cooking and she will cook for him sometimes because she feels sorry he got left with me, the noncook. Mom always appeals to Ryan's stomach.

coasterqueen replied:
That's good that you can tell him about things like this. If I told either of my parents when DH and I are having 'issues' both my parents would tell me I'm the one needing a good straightening out. They absolutely adore Ryan, even with his faults. If my parents give us money to reimburse us for something or to give to the girls they ALWAYS write the check out to him, not me.

Hillbilly Housewife replied: My mom loves my DH... they joke around with each other. I vent to my mom about dh - and she always tells me he's too good for how i'm acting... my dad gets alog wth him fine, but he's either drunk or stoned, so his opinion doesn't really matter that much, kwim?

And I can't stand the outlaws... but I tolerate them.

Maddie&EthansMom replied: Scotty doesn't care a whole lot for my mother. He thinks she treats me bad (controlling, manipulative) and he thinks she does more for my brothers. I guess this is true to an extent. But, he chooses not to understand the circumstances and why she is this way. My mother adores Scotty. She wanted me to marry him the first day she met him. He used to get along with her great. He'd hang out with her while I was out of town, etc. But, as the years have gone on he started noticing certain characteristics that bothered him. That's just Scotty. Regardless, he is very respectful and does call her if she is going thru a hard time. He is good to my family. Everyone knows that you don't cross him, though. And Scotty isn't a talker so he doesn't talk much when my parents come to visit, but he likes for them to visit.

Scotty is a weird man. He absolutely LOVES my dad. (my parents are still married)

Karen...my mom always writes the check out to Scotty, too. She really is crazy about Scotty and respects him. I just wish he could see that.

Brias3 replied: My husband gets along well with my mom for the most part. They've never had an altercation and he's very respectful of her, will communicate with my parents without my prompting, etc. She's always adored him so that's a plus too. The funny thing is, I know he loves my mom but somehow I've always felt like he likes my dad even MORE. I would never say anything to him because he gets along great with both of them and maybe its just that my dad and him have lots in common and will do things together more often but its something I've always noticed. However, I believe this is partly contributed to the fact that growing up, he was raised primarily by his dad and the situation between his mom and family was not a pretty one. She's barely any longer in the picture, in fact, I've never even met her. She still is in contact with his siblings but Bruce has chosen to have nothing to do with her (his dad has been remarried for years and he gets along well with his stepmom) so in part, I think he's just not a "mom" person if that makes any sense so that might have alot to do with it.

I can see how you feel though. I obviously make the effort more with his parents than he does mine, in terms of keeping up with events, bringing the kids to see them, having them over for dinner, helping them out with stuff, etc. more than he does for mine and I get frustrated with that but I guess that's just a woman's nature in large part too. Who knows. At any rate, I do think he needs to be more understanding, for your sake at the very least. Men are sometimes very selfish though as well as extremely strong-willed so I can relate to not wanting to cross the bridge and bring it up again.

Bee_Kay replied: Well, my situation is kind of weird.

My parents divorced when my sister and I were very young and my dad was awarded custody.
My mom walked away, started a new life, new husband, new child, new career.

My sister and I had minimal contact with her growing up.

As an adult, she tries at times to come around, but it is always at her convenience.

She is incredibly two-faced and VERY self-centered.

So, to answer your question.... they don't really get along, but they don't NOT get along either.

My DH doesn't kiss her @ss and she hates it, but in front of people she acts all sweet.

A&A'smommy replied: my mom and my husband get along really well, jeremiah has always said pretty much since the beggining that he was more comfortable at their house than at his parents house.

EvesMom replied: I guess DH aand I got lucky. Both of our families are very loving and close. My parents love him, and he loves them. I love his parents and they love me. They actually came right out and told me that I was the best thing to ever happen to him.

Edward's Mommy replied: Chris hates my mom because she's so phony and fake, but he's not rude to her!

ilovemybaby replied: They get along great! I wish it was the same for me and MIL.
Paul loves my mother and father and sister. They are all very good to him.

ilovemybaby replied: My mum makes Paul cups of tea and gives him gingernuts every time we go there and he says to me "see your mum makes your dad tea/coffee, why can't you do that?!" LOL
And my dad teases him about being a police "wannabe" LOL My dad is an ex policeman. And Paul has a police scanner and is so into the police it drives me crazy. He listens to the scanner all night (he has a little headphone under his pillow). And whenever he hears the police helicopter he jumps up and runs out the door to see what is going on.

Mom2BNTN replied: My Dh gets along great with both of my parents and has since we started dating. My ex-husband had no respect whatsoever for my parents so I am so glad that I finally married a man who knows what respect is.

Halo42101 replied: Monica, I am sorry you're going through this with your husband & parents. I can imagine how hard it must be. I will keep them in my prayers.
As for us, my Mom considers Theron as another son. He also gets along well with my Dad & Stepmom.
My heart goes out to you, Monica. I hope things in that area get better for you soon.

Hugs & love from,
Jessi