Help w/weaning two yr old - Breastfeeding

Pearlfire wrote: Hi, I am new to this message board, 1st post, and I am in serious help w/weaning a two yr old. If someone had told me when I started nursing Olivia that I would still be nursing her at 26 months I would have laughed! But here I am still nursing Olivia who seems to be addicted to "BaBoo" and who unfortunately is in the bad habbit of nursing herself to sleep at night (I share a bed w/her). I recently stopped the nap time nursings a little over a week ago. Now she only nurses at night to go to sleep, in the middle of the night should she wake up and as a start to her morning while still in bed. So it is definitely a Bedtime thing for her. She does ask for it more frequently throughout the day but I tell her that she has to wait for bedtime and I distract her. Some background info; I am a single mother who works FT and also has a 12 yr old (who didn't take to the breast at all so I gave up breastfeeding her upon being discharged from the hospital). Any advice at all would be helpful. I would especially like to hear from those of you who have BF this long. Thanks, Kristie

mammag replied: Hi! Welcome to the board. Sorry for not replying sooner. Not sure I really have advice for you.

I did bf Cade till closer to that age. I just had to go through a couple of rough nights of not giving in. Kristen was weaned gradually because I had to work and then had Cade and she didn't really want it anymore. With Conner I went to New Orleans for 5 days so Grandma was with him. He was by far the easiest. Not just for me but for him because when they see mommy they think of it more and when you aren't around they just know it's not available....does that make sense? Conner only fussed a little the first night and then was fine. When I got home he didn't even try to go for it.

Sorry I wasn't more help. But good luck! I dread going through it with Keegan.

moped replied: I agree with Jeanie too - if they see you they want it - other people might have more success

coasterqueen replied: I read both your posts and just know that no one is ignoring you, it may just be the people who are actually on the board right now have not breastfed. It took me a bit to be able to reply because I have a screaming newborn here and I'm typing one-handed .

I breastfed Kylie til she was 24 months of age which at that time she weaned when I was about 8 weeks pg or so. She initiated the weaning and I followed her lead so I'm not really qualified to answer your questions.

First off nursing is just not about getting nutrition it is also about comfort and it appears to me that your child NEEDS that comfort. My DD needed that comfort at night time for sure. She needed that comfort 24/7 to be exact, lol.

Here is a link on weaning tips I hope you find helpful: http://www.kellymom.com/bf/weaning/index.html

Just remember to take weaning VERY slowly. If you do it too fast your DD will want to nurse even more. Also you've gone two beautiful years giving your DD the very best, weaning too quickly could be very traumatizing for her. And IMO if you've gone this long for her, traumatizing wouldn't be something you'd want to do, right?

((HUGS)) and WELCOME to the board.

JAYMESMOM replied: We haven't gotten to weaning stage just yet but the one suggestion I always here is not to be too rough at first. Try and gradually wean them. The older they get they use BF as a way to comfort vs. nutrition. You might want to tell her that the "food" is gone but you can cuddle with her. Offer to hold her next to your chest without your shirt on so she can still feel the skin contact. Then slowly go to just holding her. I am sure she is a very smart girl and you may want to offer a reward if she goes a couple nights without nursing. Also cut out the morning nursing and the middle of the night. She needs to slowly learn how to put herself back to sleep without nursing. We HAVE done this with my daughter. The first few nights she cried for a few mintues but she cuddled with her blankets and dolls and went back to sleep and woke up in the am without any trauma.

I hope this helps a little and definetly don't give up you will have good days and bad days.

Welcome to the board!!

kimberley replied: sorry i didn't get to this sooner, but i also have 3 very active kids and don't get to reply to as many posts as i'd like to right away. weaning is no fun unless your child is ready. Karen gave you a great link to kellymom.com that is super helpful.

i am currently going on 20 months of nursing with my DD and i am ready to wean.. but she is not. the only thing that works for me during the day is the same as you... distraction. at night, that is a different story . like your DD, mine won't sleep without it so if i want sleep, i better give it up.

have you tried giving her a sippy cup instead? i know mine won't take anything. what about changing her bed time ritual so that you have a cup of milk, snuggle reading stories and then go to sleep instead of nursing? weaning should be a very gradual process and takes a lot of work. i really don't know what else to suggest but do wish you lots of luck. ((((hugs)))

ammommy replied: Well, I weaned DS at a year and DD weaned herself at 6 months
What I did with my son was to offer a sippy cup with milk or water but held him like he was nursing so he got the smell and feel, but not the breast. It took about a week before he just wasn't even interested anymore.

Welcome!

amynicole21 replied: My dd weaned at 26 months because I went away on a weekend business trip... I hadn't planned on weaning her, but I secretly hoped it would happen. I know how you probably feel about it - love the closeness, but after two + years are ready to have your body back. I think you are doing the right thing in distracting her when she asks for it. We co-sleep too and I found it very difficult to convince her that night time nursings were out. I'm really not sure how to handle that except to try to soothe her by snuggling and hugging instead of nursing and hope that she falls asleep without too much drama... Wish I had some better advice for you. Just take it slowly like everyone else said and she'll probably decide pretty soon on her own that she doesn't need to nurse as much as before. Good luck, and welcome to the board!

kit_kats_mom replied: Hi welcome to the board!

You got a great link from Karen for Kellymom...that's been my most visited website (besides this one) for the last two years. Tons of great BFding info!

I nursed my oldest until she was 21 mos. She pretty much weaned herself due to my new pregnancy...guess the milk tasted different or something. However, I was ready, mainly because she was still waking up 3 or more times a a night and I thought she should be sleeping through the night by 2 yo. I used distance to my advantage. First, I moved her from our bed to a crib mattress on the floor in our bedroom. I just got up as often as necessary & nursed and laid with her, until she got used to sleeping on her bed. Then the goal was getting her to sleep through the night. I stuffed her full of before bed snacks and promised her stickers for her sticker chart when she slept though the night and didn't ask to nurse. THat worked pretty well after a couple of weeks she was down to only before bed num-nums. For those, I just tried to offer rocking and stories instead. It took awhile but soon she was just popping on for a minute or two then I'd put them away. I got to where I never offered and she just quit one day.
All in all, it took about 3 months because I was unwilling to really push her.

Good luck!

Cal&Camsmom replied: Hi! I just saw your post & wanted to let you know that I just weaned my 26 month old dd a couple weekends ago! She sounds just like your little one & was addicted. We co-sleep as well & she would wake up at night, I nursed her to sleep for nap & bedtime.

This is what I did.

I told her that we needed to give all the "nummies" to the babies now. That she's a big girl & that big girls have sippys. We have a friend that just had a baby so we say "baby Sean nummies". She has asked for it & then says "baby Sean" & then grabs her sippy.

She only wakes up once a night now to just cuddle, which is a miracle because she would wake up at least 4-5x's a night to nurse or she just wouldn't unlatch for the night. I couldn't believe how easy it went, but I realized that *I* had to be ready & *I* had to be firm. I didn't want to do it "cold turkey" but that was the only way that I could. She wanted to nurse more than ever lately & my body was ready to stop.

Anyway, feel free to email me offlist if you have any questions. Just wanted to let you know that I just went through what you're going through & our kids are the same age!


Jenn

Pearlfire replied: Thank you everyone for your replies! I came home from work last night to find that Olivia is sick w/a temperature, runny/stuffy nose and she appears to be cutting her two yr molars .......... so she is just miserable. I guess that I will have to put weaning on hold for a while until she is feeling better. My goal is to have her completely weaned by the middle of June anyway so that I can go on to potty training (fun, fun). I will say that the thought of having her completely weaned is bitter sweet as she is most likely the last "baby" that I will have. Thank you again for you advice and support
Kristie

jcc64 replied: As usual, I'm late to the thread. I have a lot in common with you. I also have a 12 yr old (and a 9 yr old) in addition to my 2.5 yr old dd. My boys both self weaned around 1, but dd LOVED her nummies, and would undoubtedly still be nursing if I hadn't initiated weaning. Like the others, I felt the only way to do it was to be away for a few days. We co-sleep, and prior to weaning, it was most definitely all you can eat at the midnight buffet. I think I was producing very little milk for the last few months- it was just habitual and comforting. She also used nummies to go to sleep, and to fall back to sleep in the middle of the night. After I went away for a few days, I simply told her that nummies had dried up, and that she could cuddle with me or with her "friends" (stuffed animals), and she took the loss surprisingly well. Almost immediately, she stopped waking up at all during the night. Now, she still believes she has partial ownership of my boobies, and will often stick her hand down my shirt to chill out (which doesn't faze me, but every once and awhile someone will make a comment about her hand being in the cookie jar). Between her and dh, I'd like to chop them off and give one to each of them so I can be left alone!

JAYMESMOM replied:
My sentiments exactly. I feel like I dont even own them anymore. Yet I have to carry them around. LMAO