Help Us Sleep! - My sleepless 16 month old

jacobsmama wrote: Hello. I'm Kristi, Mother to Jacob who was born January 30, 2004. He is the love of my husband and I's Life. I'm just having a little trouble at bed time. He wants to be rocked. Should I be? If I rock him he is fine but I can't just put him in his bed and tell him to go to sleep b/c he cries and then he will end up vomitting. I work part time as a nurse at an OBGYN. I don't want to clean up vomit everynight and I dont' want my son to scream. He also wakes up 3-5 times alot of night just to be patted or rubbed. What am I doing wrong? He is very close to my room but I have no other option please help! I'm very sleepless and tired! Thanks

A&A'smommy replied: Rock him my daughter is 19 months old and I still rock her its the only way she will go to sleep. The way i see it is she is only going to be this little now and tomorrow she will grow a little and some day I wont be able to hold her so I hold her now and I LOVE it. Enjoy your time with him and when he is ready he will put himself to sleep. I know how it is to not get any sleep I tried just putting her in her bed for a while and she did it a couple times BUT she wanted mommy so I haven't tried again in a while I enjoy rocking her too much I work in the mornings so that is nice bonding time for us. Anyway Good luck!!

BTW I just wanted to add that you aren't doing anything wrong its perfectly normal to go through stages like this.

Jamielou replied: I would just rock him if that is what it takes for him to go to sleep as for waking up in the middle of the night i dont have a clue laney still does at least 3 or 4 nights a week so i dont know i guess some babies just dont sleep well. sorry i am not much help. hope you get some sleep soon

jacobsmama replied: Well thank you all very much that is what I think I needed to hear was that it is ok to rock him to sleep I love doing it and when I do he sleeps rather well all night. It is mostly when I make him cry and try to go to sleep on his own that he does the waking up stuff thank you so much for letting me know it really is ok to rock him and he will go to sleep on his own when he is ready! Thanks alot!

moped replied: There are so many differing opinions on sleep and how to get children to - I personally don't rock anymore after having Jack CIO...................he falls alseep on his own now..............................

It is nice to rock them to sleep!

Josie83 replied:
I agree with Jen, to each their own. personally I never rocked Cassie and she has never had any prob;em going to sleep on her own. However that doesn't mean that its wrong for you to do what you're doing. I'd say that if you've tried other methods and that's what works for you, then stick with it, and good luck! Welcome to the boards by the way xx

Insanemomof3 replied: I say rock him too. My kids are not cuddly so I never get the chance for that stuff unless they are sick. Enjoy it while you can!

mom2tripp replied: I have been there BIG TIME--but even rocking Tripp didn't help calm him at night. Thanks to jenhopkins (she's my hero by the way) Tripp sleeps like an angel now. I mean it's a WORLD of difference. I let him CIO because in the long run I think it will benefit him and me. It took about a week, and yes it made me sad to hear him cry, but now we do our night routine and he's in the bed by 7 and he sleeps through the night. Rocking is fine, but IMO I wouldn't want to get into that habit and be doing that forever!!!! It is nice to cuddle but I think it's important for them to get to sleep on their own. If they fall asleep in their crib then when they wake up in the middle of the night they remember where they are and are more likely to fall back asleep on their own. Of course this is just all my opinion so take it as you like and good luck to you

ian'smommy replied: Ian is going to be 3 years old in about 2 1/2 weeks. I rocked him until this year. Just in the past couple of months he hasn't asked to be rocked, and I miss it. He goes to bed fine without it. But if he did need it, I'd gladly still do it. If he wanted to be rocked until he was 5 years old, I'd do it. It used to be that I'd have to rock him until he actually fell asleep and then I'd slowly lay him down. That sometimes took some time. Then gradually as he got older, it was just rock him and sing a couple of songs and then lay him down awake. He was ok with that too. Then one day to my surprise, he hopped up in bed without being rocked, gave me a hug and a kiss and said goodnight. It's been very similar every night. He has some days that aren't as easy as others, but the rocking has stopped.

lyssasmom replied: I'm glad to see I'm not the only one having problems with my child sleeping. My daughter Alyssa is almost 14 months old now. But I have the hardest time and it's driving me crazy. I love her and love holding her when needed because as one of you said before long she'll be all big on me and wont want me holding her anymore. But this is insane....I have tried everything I can possibly think of.No matter what time I put her down, she wakes up several times a night still. I have to nurse her to get her to sleep to start with. I had been weaning her before she got sick a few weeks ago and because she wouldnt eat or drink anything else my doctor advised me to let her nurse. Well, I did and now I have her back down to three feedings...sort of. She nurses when she wakes up sometimes. If I'm lucky enough to wake up and get dressed before she wakes up, its ok and she doesnt nurse for the morning and we come downstairs and I give her breakfast. But at naptime I can't get her back to the napping without nursing where I had her before she got sick. I cant get her to sleep because she screams until she makes herself sick and doesnt "cry it out" like they say. Anyway that's two but then when I put her down at night I also have to nurse her. Then I get her down and she'll stay for maybe an hour or two and then wake up wanting to nurse. I've tried a couple of different things for this...I've tried feeding her a meal before bedtime so she won't be hungry. I've also tried bringing up her sippy cup and giving her water instead of milk but she wont TOUCH the cup in the night. I've thought of trying a bottle of water but I really don't want to go there again. She hasn't used a bottle in months. Anyway, so she wakes up in the night wanting to nurse. She'll nurse for a few seconds then be back asleep. And unless I keep her in bed with me and her daddy(also started when she was sick because she was vomiting so much), she continues waking up every few minutes or so. I am at the end of my rope. I love her dearly but this is driving me nuts!!!! HELP!!

mom2tripp replied:
My situation was almost EXACTLY the same!!!!!! Please PM me or email at kristiluciano@hotmail.com or write to jenhopkins2000 she saved me!!!!!! Now when I put Tripp down at 7 PM I have the whole night to do things around the house and have ME time and he sleeps the whole night. I hope that we can HELP you

moped replied:
Thanks Kristi!

This method just happened to work well for our families..............and I know it is harsh to hear them cry but it doesn't go on every night forever, just a few nights in the begininng and then they are trained...............I feel that children need to learn how to sleep, they arne't born with the ability to sleep so therefore we should teach them. They learn what we give them. If we rock them to sleep that is what they know naturally, if we put them in the crib awake they will learn how to fall asleep..........................we teach them everything.

Anyways, I can help you if you like and so can Kristi...................it really is nice to put them to bed early and have time to do other things!!! Like Parenting Club!!!!!!

b&bsmom replied: I understand the differences. My dd slept almost thru the night from day one. My ds on the other hand didn't sleep thru the night till 1 and a half. He still wakes up sometimes but it has gotten much better. With my son he never stopped moving. He gave up naps at 2, and is always on the go. I found that I started putting him down and the first time I would let him go for a few min then go in and reassure him but not pick him up. Then I would leave and go for longer and longer until he fell asleep. I had the same problem he would get so upset he would get sick but I found going in and just laying him back down to pats or rubs and then left again after a few nights he seemed to get it.I also noticed he had to be ready for bed or forget it. If he wasn't ready he would just scream and scream. He will be 3 in sept and now sleeps in his big boy bed. I thought we would have a huge problem but we have a routine and he goes to bed without a problem. You have to use what is best for you. At night I found if he woke up not to go in right away but wait a min or two to see if he cried harder or could get himself back to sleep.You know how to tell his cries apart and if you feel it is not an urgent, scared cry I would let him go for a little until the cry gets harder. I found with Bryce I had to do what I felt was right and it seemed to work with my daughter I did things different.Then once you get the nights down try to ween him a little from the rocking if you want. You could rock him while you read a story or sing a song and try to set a routine so he knows it is bed time. Good luck with whatever you do.