He doesn't want me to go

MM'sMama wrote: with him to TN now! If your member my other post about losing the house and him lying to me about something on his credit. Well here is the low down I found out when we separated a few months ago while he got it together. He got a credit card and ran up $7,000 yes your read that right on it and NEVER paid anything but ONE payment! WTH was he thinking?!?! Needless to say I was in huge shock and less then amused!
He's now angry with me because I took part of what would be our down payment on the new house and paid it all. Uh hello dumba$$ it had to be done so don't go getting mad at me over your stupidity!!!!! Am I right?
Anyway now he's saying he doesn't want me and the kids to come to TN with him for a few months! WHAT?!?!?!?!?! He said he doesn't want the kids and I having to live in an apartment at all (uh and why not?) and he wants to get everything together down there first. And I asked him well then where are the kids and I going to live? He said oh you can stay with my parents (yeah I don't think so) or get an apartment (wait a min. wasn't this the reason he wanted us to stay here in the first place? ). So I asked him, you would rather pay 2 rent payments a month? Someone help me before I knock him out because I really don't get or understand this!!!!

C&K*s Mommie replied: Karah, I have no words to say for this. I am in just as much shock about it being on the outside looking in.

mom2my2cuties replied: I would knock his butt out - there is no reason why he should have lied to you! Jerk.


And that whole crap about you not coming down and staying in an apartment - I think he borrowed some of the Stupid Juice the drink in Spokane.

amymom replied: Oh Gosh Karah! Hugs to you! I am so sorry this is going on!!!

mckayleesmom replied: Omg.....what the frick? PERSONALLY...and this is just me...I would be telling him that he could either own his mistake or pay for the divorce. Im sorry, but something still seems fishy to me. 1. What on earth did he spend 7 grand on? 2. It sounds like hes still hiding something....What man doesn't want to be with his family?

MyBrownEyedBoy replied: Holy cow, Karah. I am speechless. What an idiot! And for him to act like it's your fault that you had to spend part of the down payment. For his stupidity. GRRRRR!!

luvmykids replied: Karah, I don't know but I think I'm with Brianne, why can't you rent a house down there then, if the issue is not living in an apartment? And if you're going to pay rent anyway, why not pay it together under one roof?

CantWait replied: Sorry hun, but to me, it sounds like he's making excuses, and setting you up in the process.

mckayleesmom replied: Did you ever find out where he went when he left a while back? I don't mean to sound mean, but it sounds like there was more to it then you think and that he is trying to hide what he purchased. That is a heck of alot of money for just a shopping spree....sounds more like a furnishing a new house type of spree to me. Im sorry, but that is the first thing that pops into my head. You would have noticed 7 grand worth of stuff..kwim? Where did this 7 grand of stuff go?

MM'sMama replied:
Sorry it took me so long to get back to you all but waiting to be able to use MIL computer is horrible! Plus then I have to clear the history so she can't read my posts and pray to God she doesn't ask why I cleared it.
I agree Brianne I still smell something fishy myself! The 7 grand went on a new motorcycle (sp?) I know of that but he told me he got a really good deal from a friend and it was only $1500, HA the liar! But he has come clean about it all. However I called the dealer he got it from and he agreed to show me the video footage of him buying it because I want to make sure he was alone! As far as where he was while back (I think you mean Valentine's day) he was off drinking and playing pool with a buddy of his and I was thankfully able to confirm that. Not that I feel any better about it though! And I just don't know with him anymore you know, I have about had it!

ZandersMama replied: I can't blame you for having just about had it, i'm there too. As for the lying, kick his a@@.

hawkshoe replied: I would definately not let him go off alone again. Heck look what happened last time he did. You were right to pay off that debt. What was he thinking. Sorry but he was acting like an @$$. I would also make sure to cut up his credit card and I would be managing the finances completely.

C&K*s Mommie replied: I think that the two of you can be adults and be the responsible people that you are, and handle this accordingly. TBH, and this will sound rude, but there is no need to be his mother, and to monitor every he does from now on. He is a grown man he can make choices on his own. While my DH and I have not had a prob with spending 7grand that the other did not know about, through time he (& I ) have learned to be more financially prudent with money. We made mistakes, and we have learned.

This may be the time to take an evaluation and to determine if you will be able to regain trust in him. If you two will be living in seperate places & you two truly want to work on this marriage, then take this time to regroup and when you do come back to one another you will be better and more trusting of one another.

I only say this from my one-sided POV, because my DH and I have had probs with trust in the past, but for a different reason. We made a resolve to better ourselves in our marriage, and while it will never be ideal, we are two halves that are better than we were before.

TheOaf66 replied: almost seems like he has something else that he is hiding