Having trouble with the dog - need help

boyohboyohboy wrote: I am having some trouble dealing with the dog.
I guess I didnt really take in to consideration all that I should have as far as taking care of a puppy.
She is really just being a young pup. She is just now 8 weeks old.
but she is having a lot of accidents, and for the last two days has had diarrhea..I cant tell you what a mess it is, so we sit outside most of the day.
She isnt bad at night, she goes in her kennel and sleeps only barks about 10 mins.
but she just doesnt have any training, she wont come to me when I call her, she wont go to the door when I ask her too, she only is making it outside because I catch a cue and carry her out..
I also have noticed her chewing on the kids and I am getting concerned she might bite them.
I realize now that the only thing to do is get her professionally trained, I dont think I am going to be able to do, and to have it done, is at least $2000. I have checked all around us for training class..
it seems like the ones where we go and are taught to do it, last 8 or more weeks, I am concerned that she might hurt one of the kids in that amount of time.

I am feeling just horrible right now..the kids are so attatched to her but caleb being the oldest isnt helping take care of her, he is just being a normal 7 yr old..and my dh isnt helping as much as he said he would..

what do I do?
I realize now what a huge responsibility she is. I have never had a pet, I had no idea how hard this is..I have to watch her every second right now so she doesnt go on the floor..and I keep thinking about the disease the kids might get as we have young kids who put their hands in their mouth and lay on the floor...

DVFlyer replied: Welcome to puppyhood. The road is long but the reward is worth it.

Put the dog in the crate whenever you aren't able to have it physically attached to you with a leash.

In the crate means they can't chew on furniture, bite kids etc.

Chewing is natural, biting kids is natural, grabbing pant legs is natural, not listening is natural... Notice I didn't say "acceptable"... but it is natural. And it doesn't mean they are going to turn into kid biting monsters.

FWIW- Ginger had diarrhea the first week or so we had her. Very common for pups to have bacteria in their system.

No way training is $2000.... Well, I should say, it *shouldn't* be.

Order Leerburg's puppy video. What's it cost? $30 or so? Much cheaper than "training" which you can do yourself.

boyohboyohboy replied: thank you for what you wrote!
I am feeling like the worlds worst mother, for wanting to get rid of my kids puppy, and also the worst human being for not being attatched to this thing with puppy eyes.
I just realize that this is basically my dog, no one is helping and I really didnt want the dog.
I know that she is adjusting to her food and our water which is different from where she came, so I know the diarrhea will go away.
she has had only one poo accident.
but three pee accidents..and I had taken her out and she peed just to them happening.

the $2000 training is because you take her to this place and leave her there for one month and they train her to be the perfect listening dog.
but it said they use a special collar and I assume it shocks her and that sounds horrible to me..

I have no support my family is not a dog family, so my mom keeps sending me email on how my kids are going to get pin worms which really grosses me out.

is it mean to just put her in the crate when I dont feel like dealing with her, or making dinner?
right now I keep her at my side every sec. I am exhausted between her and the kids, and my house is falling into shambles..
I cant do it all.
I am feeling like I want to sell her.

DVFlyer replied: You sound like my wife... she hates taking care of the dog (of course she picked the dog we got), but now is "ok" with her.

Think of puppies like babies...

Your kids would have lots of accidents had they not been wearing diapers right?

You could probably send your kids to private school (training) where someone tells you "how good they'll be when they're done with them", right?

You put your babies in their cribs (crates) when you were doing "other" things, right?

You kids put bugs and dirt in their mouth. Yes, they will get some kind of sickness from something out of your control.

Did you feel overwhelmed when you first had babies? "How am I going to get all housework done while trying to feed the baby?" "How am I ever going to keep the house clean with all of the toys"... etc...

I'm not trying to convince you to keep or get rid of the dog (because I honestly feel people don't know what they are getting into until they are knee deep... like some people and kids), but understand no one I know gets a puppy and says, "wow... this is easy" .

luvmykids replied: Do the obedience training. Eight weeks sounds long but she's not going to hurt anyone in the mean time other than the occasional (and normal) puppy nipping, her little teeth are sharp and she needs to chew. She's not biting out of mean spiritedness. If you do put her in her crate, give her something to chew on (a toy made specifically for it). Potty training, and all dog training for that matter, is a process and doesn't happen over night.

But for starters, to get her to come to you, get something she'll like (even a piece of her food) and squat down, call her name or say "come" or whatever you want her to respond to, even if she just happens to mosey over give her the treat and scratch her head and make a big deal of it.

Like you said, she just doesn't know anything....if you're willing to teach her what you want from her, she'll be more than happy to oblige you. I can't say enough how important it is though, if you have any inkling of keeping her, you must get the video DVF mentioned or sign up for a class.

eta: fwiw, Colt ate every poop imaginable when he was about two....cat, dog, horse, cow. As disgusting as it is, he's alive and well enough that we laugh about it.

boyohboyohboy replied: I am glad you mentioned the poop thing, the one time I took the dog out she ate her own poop and it totally grossed me out, I make sure now to pull her right away after she goes so she doesnt do that again. I cant imagine her kissing my kids with that mouth!

She is a good mannered dog, she sits at my feet when she sleeps, I know none of this is her fault. I just cant get anything done. I dont get to spend time with the kids because I am watching the dog waiting for her to get up and pee..
and I am not getting my house work done because I am waiting for her to pee..
and then I have been making fast sandwiches for the kids to eat because I cant be far from her in case she pees!
the one time I asked caleb to stare at her for me, she peed in front of him.. he doesnt know the cues.

I am a very clean person, to the point of OCD. this whole dog thing is just gross to me.

how long does it take for her to stop peeing in the house?
she goes right from her crate in the morning to the door and out we go, and she seems to know where to go once we get outside, but she wont do it until we run around..and she mainly does it for me not dh or the kids.

is there anything I can feed her to help her diarrhea to stop?

DVFlyer replied: You're an OCD clean freak and you have kids?

Some dogs potty train faster than others. I don't know of any hard/ fast rule. They "get it" when they get it, I guess.

One day you'll realize you forgot to take the dog out and you'll see her waiting patiently by the door whining.

boyohboyohboy replied: Thanks again.
I guess I just wanted someone to tell me that I should stick it out. I want a nice behaving dog. I just am so tired of this new puppy stuff after only 4 days.
I think too, I didnt want the dog so I feel resentful over it...the amount of time she is taking.
I am OCD, but so are my kids...they are neat freaks, and we have a toy room so all the toys stay in that room..
My kids are so well behaved the dog isnt.

cameragirl21 replied: lol, a puppy is like a toddler and requires just as much energy! The reason she's chewing is she's probably teething and just wants something to chew on. Give her some of the kids' old clothes so she can get used to their scent. The thing to remember is that dogs are pack animals and she probably already gets that you are the alpha dog so she is going to be inclined to do what you want...she just doesn't know what you want yet...she may not even know her name yet, this takes time.
Just give her a chance to adjust, you'll fall in love with her before you know it!

boyohboyohboy replied:
Jennifer you are always so upbeat and positive!
I know that this is going to take time, in the back of my mind anyway! but I am so ready to throw in the towel...
I would open the door and let her run away, but she cant really run!
no I really wouldnt do that..but its the devil on the shoulder thing..

I have posted an ad on craigslist asking for references for dog trainers..
I am just not a trainer and although I know it will be me that has to go to the class..I think its just what we need.. Help!

I wish we hadnt gotten her though.

cameragirl21 replied:
Stacy, I promise it will get better, it just takes time. In the beginning, there will be accidents, they don't know yet that they can't just pee and poop everywhere but dogs are quick learners and the thing with dogs is that they really want to please their owners. Honestly, I really think you can do this yourself, you don't need a trainer OR there is the option of a training class at Petsmart...it's a group class so it can't be very expensive.
Does she know her name yet? It's important to keep calling her by her name and talking to her a lot so she knows her name...then when you call her she'll automatically come. Getting her to learn to go outside to do her business just takes repetition...keep it up and she'll get it in no time. She is a very young puppy and is just getting adjusted to her new home.
Don't let her run off, she's so little that she'd likely never make it. I know you wouldn't really do that but I promise things will get better.
When I first got my kitten, she'd peed in my bed all the time because it felt soft like her kitty litter...once I caught her just as she was about to let loose and I startled her when I yelled, "no!" and she got the message over time. Once she pooped in my bed at night so I got up, changed the sheets and as soon as I did, she peed in my bed. But believe me, she doesn't do that anymore and we have no more accidents and cats are WAY harder to train than dogs.
Hang in there and I promise that very soon you won't be wishing you didn't get her. Btw, with a pet, there is always more housework...you should see how much fur is shed around here with two Persians. I occasionally think about how much cleaner this place would be at all times if I didn't have the cats but I wouldn't trade them for the cleanest house on Earth and believe me, you'll feel that way too, just give it some time.

luvmykids replied:
SUPER important, when she does pee in the house you have to get it cleaned up beyond what even you consider clean or she'll smell it and think it's an ok place to go. Until she is potty trained, keep her on the leash or in the crate....the crate is probably the best and once she gets the hang of it she should be able to transition into not going in the house either.

Are you leaving food and water out for her all the time? I'd recommend letting her drink at certain times and picking it up, that way you have more control over when she needs to go. Of course she needs plenty of water, but if you give it to her say, every hour, you know she will need to potty and then she shouldn't have another accident since she's just gone, kwim? When you take her out, tell her "outside, potty" and if you see her signals pick her up and say "NO! outside, potty"....just like kids, repitition! She'll get it, I promise, just like kids learn what "NO!" means very quickly

Also, does she sleep all night in her crate with no accidents? That's a great sign if she's not peeing there, she IS getting the concept that she doesn't go in there and learning to hold her bladder.

boyohboyohboy replied:
she does go 8 hours in her crate at night without peeing or having an accident..she has never soiled her crate.

I do put her food out only when I know she is eating. She gets her food 4 times a day, just a small amount and her water is out all day but when she goes to drink I take her out and we sit out there until she goes,
.
I do notice she is going pee in one gneral area and poop in one other general area of the yard.

I dont think she knows her name yet.

I got some woolite pet spot and it seems to be working well, she hasnt soiled the same spot twice.
I dont smell it, I dont know if she does.

are you saying that she shouldnt be in the house at all unless she is in her crate until she is potty trained?
I mean do you mean take her out of the crate only to go outside and then when we come in she should be in the crate only. not allowed to roam the house?

mckayleesmom replied: Definantly give her a chance before giving up on her. She is still young and in a new place. They are like newborns...Once you get to know each other you will start to recognize her patterns.


It takes alot of consistancy and repitition to get them down.

luvmykids replied:
I would experiment with picking up her water for a day or two, not depriving her, just not giving her unlimited access until she seems to have a better grasp. It may help, it may not, but it might help you regain some sanity if you know you've taken her potty and she isn't going to drink for another 30 or 40 minutes, which means she won't be needing to potty either.

There are some who advocate keeping them on a leash or in their crate and not giving them run of the house until they are fully pt'd, I don't particularly follow that rule but it might help to ease your frustration, also if she's not soiling in her crate it's perfectly fine to put her there for an hour or two if you feel like you can get back to your "normal" life for that time. Some trainers say a dog should never have run of the house....they should be crated if you're not home, for example. We don't go to that extreme either. Bogie and Stevie (one of the labs and the little dog) do have run of the house when we're not home; they sleep on the couch and don't cause problems. Harley though does, so he gets put in the office...I think it depends on you and the dog.

Mostly, though, I think it's just a matter of time and patience and if crating her for some time periods during the day helps you, there isn't anything wrong with it. It's just like kids (again, lol!)...consistency, repitition, lots of praise, and she'll get it.

coasterqueen replied:
I agree. Dogs are like newborns, not just puppies, but dogs too. It's completely normal, everything Tess is doing. Heck, Gavin does some of those things. He still sometimes doesn't listen when you call his name, especially if he sees something else he'd rather pay attention to (like the cats). He will jump up on to the table if he sees food he wants, etc. We still have to spend 24/7 taking care of him - that's mainly so he won't eat the cats. I can't go to the bathroom right now without taking Gavin with me or if DH is home he will watch him because Gavin and the cats aren't getting along. Like I mentioned in previous posts, Gavin is 17 months old, so he's basically full grown - but he will always require being walked many times a day. He will constantly have to know we are boss, so we have to BE boss all the time. He will always need to be taken out to go to the bathroom, etc. We got out of a lot of the puppy stuff, thank goodness because we know we don't have the time for that at the moment, but we will do that after our cruise in September.

As far as disease - my girls have been around great danes, and 8 cocker spaniels PLUS 3 litters of puppies ALL AT ONCE (well not the great danes, they are passed now) and they've never come home with diseases (this is at the sitters). The puppies use their ankles as chew toys The girls have never been bitten hard by the puppies.

As far as cleanliness - well we are finding out the same thing as you, but I did anticipate that this would be an issue because my sitter's house smells like dog and I swore I'd do everything I could to make sure mine doesn't. I have NO time to clean and as soon as I do get the house clean, the dog drools all over and gets his wet paws on the floor and BAM! my house is disgusting in 5 minutes. Oh and the shedding - this dog sheds everywhere!!!!

I, personally, wouldn't take the puppy back. I'd realize that it's like having a newborn it just like with a newborn some take longer for the whole family to adjust than others. I do, however, want you to understand, at least from my perspective and what I see for my future, is these are all things you will always have to deal with. Sure you may not have to deal with the chewing and bathroom probs in the house, but there is still a lot you will always have to deal with with a dog, just like with a child. They are living beings just like us and children and require just as much attention, love, and everything else that we do. Maybe others who have had dogs longer may think differently, but this is the way I'm going through this with Gavin.

((HUGS)) hang in there.