Have I created a monster??!!

two2luv wrote: I have gotten into the habit of nursing Belle to sleep. Every evening I take her into bed with me and let her nurse/sleep for about an hour until she is really sound asleep and then I put her in the crib. Well it seems that now she thinks we should be doing that all night long. If she wakes up in her bed and doesn't have ME readily available she will cry until I nurse her again. She doesn't eat, just uses me for comfort I guess. This happens two and sometimes three times a night. I think that it's great that I can always comfort her and makes her feel better but I need some friggin sleep!! She's 8 months old for heavens sake - shouldn't she be sleeping through the night? I want to be a loving, nurturing mommie but I can't continue this - it's nearly to the point that she won't sleep at all unless she is in my arms. I am also afraid that if we keep doing this that when her daddy comes back from Iraq he won't have a place to sleep. We'll have to deal with sleep issues with her then as a TWO YEAR OLD and then the habits will be even HARDER to break. Any suggestions? Should I try the Ferber method? Help!! I am feeling quite inadequate as a mother right now.

alice&arik replied: I have no ideas. It has been so long since I nursed. Arik was 5 months old when I quit. But I am sure someone here has a few ideas. Good luck!

Jamison'smama replied: I'm sorry too--wish I could help out--Jamison still wakes up once a night (twice occasionally) and wants to nurse a little to get back to sleep---doesn't really bother me. We have tried night weaning and we were pretty successful but then she got sick and I just haven't weaned her again. I weaned her by letting her cry but only while in my arms or next to me--I comforted her --I only cut her off for 4 hour stretches at a time starting with 12-4am then I stretched it out until 6:00 then started earlier etc. It took only a week for her to do pretty well with it. It was pretty hard though I couldn't leave her to cry alone though--she layed next to me and I would hold and comfort her and she does take a paci which helped some.

Good luck

Mom2Boyz replied: I wish I could help, but I'm kind of in the same boat as you
Conner still wakes 2 or 3 times a night to "nurse", but like yours, it's more for comfort than anything, and he absolutly will NOT sleep in his crib, he wakes up and screams every time I put him in there (And I don't have the heart to let him CIO)
So, he and I usually sleep in the living room until my fiance gets up for work at 4:00 a.m, then we go sleep in our bed, where he nurses off and on till we get up around 9:00. If I'm not RIGHT THERE when he wakes up, he screams bloody murder until I nurse him back to sleep. I don't know how I will ever break him of this, but for now it's the only way either of us get any sleep
It has to get better eventually, dosen't it?

Kirstenmumof3 replied: I often have this problem with Claudia, she uses me for comfort. It's been about a year since I nursed her to sleep. But when I was trying to get her to sleep on her own I would gradually decrease the time of the feeding, putting her in her crib earlier and earlier until I was nursing her for about 10-15 minutes and then putting her in her crib awake. It might take a few weeks or even months to get her to sleep on her own. But I think if she is used to nursing to sleep and you just try to put her to bed or back to sleep without nursing it could make things worse. Good Luck.

Elle replied: I think the problem there is that you nurse her until she's asleep... Then if she wakes up at night and finds herself in a different situation, she'll feel insecure and she will cry looking for comfort. Babies wake up at night sometimes, but if they find themselves in the same situation they were when they fell asleep they don't feel insecure and go back to sleep without crying or anything.
I believe the best solution is that she doesn't fall asleep while nursing, you should put Belle in the crib while she's still awake, and sing or talk to her, whatever to calm her down, so she falls asleep in the crib, and when she wakes up in the middle of the night she'll find herself in the same situation she was before, so very possibly she won't cry.
OK, I hope this made any sense... I'm very confusing! Well, the bottom line here is that she should fall asleep in her crib and not in your arms (that's in you want her to sleep better).

Take care!

amynicole21 replied: Well, I'm still pretty much nursing Sophia to sleep and she's 20 months old. I have successfully night weaned her several times, only to have her get sick and have me cave since I know she doens't feel well and needs me. She's sick right now and I nursed her at least 4 times last night The No Cry Sleep Solution (very good book, btw) recommends what Elle was saying. Nurse for less and less time each night, taking her off as soon as she starts to flutter suck. It might wake her up, but if it does try, try again Eventually, she won't need to nurse to sleep. That's the theory anyway

CantWait replied: I had this problem with Anthony. He always nursed to sleep and the only time he would sleep in his crib was at night, then he'd wake up every two hours only to nurse for 5 minutes and then back to sleep. All his naps would be taken either in my arms or in bed with ME. To do away with this, I did the CIO method. I really didn't like the idea of this at first, but I wasn't getting anymore then 2 hours sleep at night and couldn't function. It's really hard at first, but he sleeps much better now, will fall asleep on his own during naps and at night. After the first night I saw a big difference and he was sleeping through the night. Right now I think he's teething so he's waking a lot again and I tend to give in for the time being only cause I imagine he's probably hurting. After about 3 weeks of doing this, we've gone back to nursing at night or nap every once in a while, but when I put him in his crib now, if he wakes he'll roll over and go back to sleep on his own. He'd never do this before. Instead he would wake up and cry cause he wasn't in my arms. Good Luck!!!

ediep replied: Jason didn't sleep through the night until he was about 5 months old. He did have some set backs and pahses where he would wake up and need a bottle, but after a a week or so he would go back to sleeping through the night

Good Luck!!!

kimberley replied: ((((hugs)))) i am right there with you on no sleep. we co-sleep and nurse on demand so i guess i just accept it as part of the choice i made as a mom. you have gotten some good advice here. i hope something works out for you. good luck and keep us posted.

coasterqueen replied: First I don't think you've created a monster. What you are doing is nurturing your child and that is a beautiful thing. Babies need their mother for more than just food, they need comfort and reassurance. Are you co-sleeping? That helps me get a lot more sleep. I would like to get more, but I'll settle for what I get, lol.

Second, it's a common misconception that babies should be sleeping through the night at this age. Evidence shows that sleeping through the night for a baby is 5 hours, that's all.

Here's an excellent link on explaining sleep and the breastfed baby. I think it may answer your ??'s. http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/sleep.html

I want for anything for my DD to sleep through the night, but I've come to the realization that she must need me if she's still nursing and awake several times a night. It WILL end, maybe not as quick as I want it to but it WILL. At least there IS a light at the end of the tunnel.

two2luv replied: We've done the co-sleeping thing off and on but neither one of us sleeps well - we both like to be able to roll around sometimes and can't do that if we are sleeping together. I understand that she isn't really supposed to be "sleeping through the night" but waking up every two hours to nurse? And not even really nurse anyway - just suck for a bit? Don't get me wrong - I love to nurse her and be the nurturing mommie but I don't think that this is part of that - I think that this is just a tough habit she has. Am I a terrible mommie if I let her CIO? It makes me feel awful and it is so frustrating but I SO want her to be able to fall asleep on her own once in awhile.

jen replied: I don't think you are a terrible mommy for wanting/needing sleep!!! You have to do what is right for you and what is right for your daughter. You may have to make a compromise KWIM??? It made perfect sense to me reading what Elle said about not letting them fall asleep nursing and teaching them to fall asleep in teh crib so they wake up in the same situation they went down in! Maybe try that! Let us know!!! and good luck!!

kimberley replied:
you are not a terrible mommy at all. and if CIO works for you, then do it. some people (like me) just can't take hearing my baby cry if there is something i can do about it, so it is not something for me... but i know so many other people who swear by it. it is your choice. i think the fact that you are concerned about it shows what a good mommy you are. and i just wanted to add that Jade, who is barely older than Belle, also wakes 2-3 times a night to suckle for comfort. it is not unusual... she just needs to feel secure. ((((hugs)))) good luck with your decision. i hope things get better.

Guest replied: I agree with Kimberley. If CIO works for you then do it. It's not something I could ever do, it wouldn't work for us, but if you are fine with it it does not make you a bad mommy. It's not my place to judge you on your parenting skills.

((HUGS)) If it's any help, Kylie nursed every 2 hours and is finally now nursing every 3 to 3.5 hours. It does get better.

coasterqueen replied: oops, that last one was from me, lol