Halloween Delema..UGH!

mummy2girls wrote: well my plan was to take jenna trick or treating at the mall and Marcus told me he booked the night off so he could come as well.. well Aron wants to take jenna as well.. more of a tag along thing as he did last year... im not ready for aron and marcus to be in the same room because marcus im sure will be uncomfortable. But aron says he wants to go because he is the dad... now if i tell marcus aron will be going if aron actually does that is, im not sure how he will take it... i hate this! aron of course feels threatened because of marcus being a part of jennas life as i did at first when he started dateing his GF so i know what and how he feels... what would you do in my shoes? I dont want to cater to aron because well you know.. and i dont want to lose Marcus! UGH! anyone wanna switch lives?

Our Lil' Family replied: Honestly...if Marcus is going to be a part of yours and Jenna's life...he has to meet Aron sometime! I would think Halloween would be a low key relaxed atmosphere where the focus will be on Jenna having fun. It seems like he's a really nice guy and once you explain I'm sure he'll understand. It's gotta happen some time!

Let us know what happens.

Oh and if you "lose" Mark over this....then maybe he's not the man you thought. I'm sure it'll be okay though!

luvbug00 replied: Ditto to above,

mummy2girls replied:
oh i know i wont lose marcus over this.. i personally am not ready to have them in the same room. i know they have to meet and will but i just dont want to right now...

mckayleesmom replied: Well...Maybe you can take Jenna Trick or Treating for an hour or so and then have Aaron pick your up to go trick or treating and you can have some alone time with Mark.

ediep replied:
yea, I think I'd do this too

Honestly if you think about it....you, mark, jenna all trick or treating with Aron...Aron is going to feel like a third wheel and probabaly won't even come if you tell him that you already has plans with Mark.

mummy2girls replied:
anyone would think that but with Aron once he found out about mark going he wanted to come because to him he is the dad and it should be him taking jenna... feeling like a thrid wheel he wouldnt feel that... i guess because he thinks marcus is over stepping his boundaries when it comes to stuff like this he wants to step in and have jenna see him be a part of it all as well.. its arons way of thinking i guess

Kaitlin'smom replied: IMO if your not ready to have them met then DONT. personally I woudl rather see you go with Marcus than Aron but thats me. You do have to either decide and explain to the other that plans were already made or bit the bullet and have them both go. I hope it all works out what ever you decide.

Calimama replied: Maybe Aron could get Jenna for awhile seperatly? That way you and Marcus could have your thing and Aron would still be getting to spend time with her as well?

mckayleesmom replied:
Well...this is where you need to put your foot down Shelly. He has no right to make himself a pilar in your life. This doesn't sound like its about Jenna, it sounds like its about you. If he wants to be apart of Jenna on this day...he has that right, but he should realize that at some point or another...there are going to be other people in your lives and you have to learn to do things apart with her too.

mummy2girls replied:

Actually no its not about me its about jenna and keeping this whole thing civil to her. and yes i know he has every right thats why im in this delema. i didnt say he doesnt have any right to be with her I just dont feel im ready for them to be in the same room. I want this to be a happy time for jenna. and i dont like the fact that someone thinks that i think its all about me because im not like that. And i do realize we need to do things seperatly. i want to , he doesnt...

amymom replied: Shelly, I think Brianne meant that Aron is trying to insert himself in your life.

But I think you picked it right.... when you told him Marcus was coming with you both to the mall he thought "Hmmm I should be there with Jenna." So that is why he is trying to come. I agree, with someone else above, maybe you and Marcus take her for 1/2 the time around the mall, then Aron meets you and takes Jenna for the the other 1/2 the time and you and Marcus go get coffee or something. I know you will miss a little while with her but at least you don't have to deal with Aron in front of Marcus. And who can argue with some alone time with your man!!!!!

mummy2girls replied:
yes as i read it i see it that way as well. I just saw it in a diff light the first time i read it.. im sorry Bri i am pmsing so i guess im a little on edge.. and stressed!~

mckayleesmom replied:
Exactly...Im not saying that you are making it about you....Im thinking that Aron is a little jealous and needs to realize that you wouldn't bring someone harmful into Jenna's life. You said that Aron thinks that Mark is overstepping his bounds....that to me says that Aron is jealous. I think you have every right not to have them in the same room together right now. You are not ready for that. There is always compromise.....and that is what I was suggesting.

mummy2girls replied:
im sorry bri.. i just took it the wrong way...

mckayleesmom replied: No problem...Im pmsing too.....

This post reminds me of the one you posted about backing off a little from Arons family to give his new girlfriend some respect......You deserve the same respect from Aron. I think that he does have a right to know who is in Jennas life and how they interact with her...just as you have a right to know, but only when the other is comfortable in the situation. Nobody should be forced into an uncomfortable situation.

mckayleesmom replied: OMG....come to think of it...I have had this happen to me, but not with children involved.

When I first started dating Leithan....I had just broken up with my ex and we worked together. One of our coworkers was going to get a tattoo after work and asked if we wanted to go. My ex said he couldn't make it and so I said I would and brought Leithan. When I got there my ex had changed his mind (how convenient) and came......So here we were....All 3 of us trapped in a 12 by 12 room watching our friend get tattoo'd.....Talk about unsettling. At one point my ex had to excuse himself to the bar next door to get a drink....

CantWait replied: Why don't you let Aron take Jenna ALONE, while you and Marcus have some alone time.

Cece00 replied: My ex and I switch years to take the boys T/T'ing.

He could also take her for a couple of hrs & you could take her for a couple of hrs.