HELP! - MIL vs. Santa

kellibellisdillybear wrote: so this is obviously Dylan's first christmas, and there are a lot of things i'd like for him, but we promised to budget since he'll probably get a lot of things. DH's aunt asked for ideas, i gave her one, she already bought it. now MIL tells me she's already gone shopping, bought him a bunch of stuff, won't tell me what, and intends to keep buying more until christmas!! the problem is, she was already telling me ideas she had for him, and some of them were the things i wanted to get.i know she's very excited, i can understand, but we live in a small townhome for one thing, and for another, since he's our son, shouldn't we get a chance to buy him things too? i made the comment when she told me she already bought him a bunch of stuff "wow, how will you keep from buying things for the next two months now??" and she said " oh-no, i'm still going to buy him more stuff, toys, and clothes and all". i asked how was i supposed to buy him things and not get the same....DH suggested i call HER everytime i wanted to buy somehting to make sure she hadn't bought it. right in front of her i told him i was not about to call her whenever i wanted to buy something for my own son!

I know i probably sound crazy, but she's been trying to steal my thunder every holiday. it's like she doesn't get that this is OUR first child, not hers. she bought him his "1st" easter bunny, his 1st halloween bib, and was going to buy him his halloween pail. I want her to be involved, but good greif, she doesn't want to leave anything fun for us.

i know there are a million toys out there, but honestly, not that many for a 9 month old, so, if any of you know of a site that sells cool toys that my mil won't find, wont you please tell me? i only have two months to out-do her!!!!

sorry i'm ranting

Hillbilly Housewife replied: Well, it is your son.

MY advice is that you get yous son to 'open' YOUR gifts first.... so that if SHE got a double of what YOU got, SHE can return it.

But then again, I don't really like my MIL, and it's what I always do.

kellibellisdillybear replied: oooo, smart, but i don't know if she's coming to open presents christmas eve, or day. it's not like he'll even know the difference, but it's the whole theory of it all.

kimberley replied: ITA! if MIL duplicates, she can return all her stuff. same problems here. DH should really talk to her about it tho.

~Roo'sMama~ replied: Oooh that would aggravate me. If it were me I'd probably go out and buy whatever I wanted for him, and then have Dh call MIL and tell her what we'd gotten and if she says she already has anything you bought, ask her to return them because you really want to be the one to give it to him. Maybe if he tells her how excited you are about Dylan's first Christmas she'll understand she needs to back off.

my2monkeyboys replied: She may not realize how important this is to you. If you or DH could tell her in a nice, we-still-love-you kind of way maybe she'll understand. If not, then I'd do kind of what was said earlier... maybe you could just give her a list of what you're going to buy him and let her know that if she buys (or has bought) him the same then you'll have return hers. In a nice way. I like the Toy'R'Us website and One Step Ahead... they have some different things.
Good luck!!!

~KARA~ replied: I told my mom & mil that they needed to tell me what they buys the kids so we dont get doubles. Its ok if my mom and my mil buys them the same thing cause Ill leave teh one that my mom got at her house and one that my mil gets withh come home with us. Its also a rule with mil that she has to ask before she buys them sommething cause she only sees the kids 1 time a month and has no idea what they have or like. Clothes arent even an option.

ilovemybaby replied: I agree with ZENmommy.

I am lucky I don't have that problem with my MIL. She told me from the start that she will be buying clothes for Abby for her birthdays and Christmas... I hate to think about how Abby is going to react when she is older and she doesn't want "stupid clothes" because she wants toys LOL I am going to have to tell her to just say thank you and it's the thought that counts.

CantWait replied: Been there done that, and it don't get better. I've just reverted to not telling my mom what I plan on getting the kids every year, then I go out and buy it, phone her that night and tell her not to get it. Good Luck. I know how fustrating it is.

MyLuvBugs replied: Why don't you just politely say "Ya know I'm glad you're excited about buying all this stuff for him, but we just don't have the room right now for a lot of stuff. Just please don't go overboard with the gifts. We could really use Clothes and books instead of a lot of toys".

Then if she refuses do what Rocky suggested. Have him open your gifts first. lol

Alice replied: How about this: the doubles stay at her house, so he can play with them when you visit over there??

Alice replied: Me again, sorry.

How about if Santa brings something BIG? If you have the yard space, the First Tikes (I think) Jungle Cimber is great, from the time they start to walk until at least 7-- my kids all still hang out on top of ours. It is everything from a castle to a fort to whatever the kids want it to be. It's indestructible too- we got it 6 years ago when Brian was 1, and have only had to replace the rope ladder because the dog teethed on it.

Also, think about some traditions you can start-- just the three of you-- for the holidays. Pictures for the Christmas cards, Watching Rudolph together every year, buying a new ornament for Dylan each year- from SANTA-- these are the things she can't horn in on, and they'll make your family life a bit richer as well.

amymom replied: Alice ---- great suggestions.

toady_buckshot_noodle replied: I agree. She can be the one to return the gifts and maybe then she will understand. i have the same problem with my mom and MIL. They always buy the same things.