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Char Lee wrote: I will update you guys once in awhile as well as i will try to read some messages. It is hard right now. Last night I left internet on so no one would call me. Did not feel like talking I guess. Not too much sleep last night either. My mom called this morning and even though I still did not want to talk to anyone, I knew she would call me at work, so I called her back. Funny she has been a little negative but had no idea this could happen again. She is upset now. Not what I planned. I just want to go on with life. I do feel like trying again. But that will be discussed with Kevin. He needs to be there more I think. Maybe I am just being stupid. Either way it would not be for months down line anyhow. I am confused. I feel so empty and sore. They found nothing in there, I still have not come to believe it. I know I am not but I still feel like I am. Anyhow I guess I should just keep busy. Thanks for listening. bawling.gif

Jamison'smama replied: Sending lots of hugs and prayers your way--hang in there.

Kaitlin'smom replied: grouphug.gif I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you can find some peace, and know you will be though of often. grouphug.gif

alice&arik replied: I am so sorry for your loss. Hang in there, just relax and don't let the world stop spinning. I'm sure down the line you will have a beautiful baby.

jem0622 replied: You talk to those that you want to talk to right now. And if you don't want to talk, then don't. When I had my D&C after losing the baby at 16 weeks in January I forced myself to go on and should have taken more time and not bothered to work at all.

For now...I would just focus on getting answers. Find out if there is anything wrong that is unknown to you. But you need to wait until your hCG drops as close to '0' as possible. That was my biggest mission. To rule out what went wrong. And to lose weight. I lost 30 lbs.

If you are interested in having a place to post where you can just work through all of this then let me know. I also post to a multiple loss forum and the ladies are great there.

HUGS
Julie

coasterqueen replied: grouphug.gif P&pt's for you.

amynicole21 replied: Julie's right... you need to focus on you right now. Don't feel obligated to talk to anyone you don't want to. I'm keeping you in my thoughts - hang in there, sweetie! grouphug.gif

MommyToAshley replied: I am so sorry.... You will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. Please know that we will be thinking of you!

CantWait replied: I'm so so sorry for your loss Char Lee. My thoughts are with you. Please try and take time for yourself right now. Don't worry what others say or do, you need time for you wub.gif grouphug.gif grouphug.gif

Char Lee replied:
When you lost the baby at 16 wks was it painful because I wasnt except the spotting. I am going to ask my doctor about it. When are you allowed to start trying again? Not saying we will. But we are talking about it. He is a little upset. He is blaming everyone. Not me thank god. I do not need that right now. They say it gets easier everytime you lose one. It isnt. I wanted this one. I want to be a mom and have something to love and be my own.

Thanks Julie I may take you up on that site. Everyone knows there is something wrong but I always seem to bounce back. I hate that about me. Anyhow thanks angel.gif

A&A'smommy replied: (((((BIG BIG HUGS))))) we are here for you sweetie!

kimberley replied: (((hugs))) Char Lee! i am sorry for your loss. i felt the same way you do when i lost my angel at about 9wks. i felt no pain in the beginning, just spotting on and off for almost 2 weeks. we were devastated, and you are right, it doesn't get easier. they say you are supposed to wait at least one full normal cycle before you try to conceive again but we got pg with Jade about 2 weeks after i m/c. it was very hard on me emotionally and i was a nervous wreck through my whole pg. i really advise you give yourself time to heal from this loss before you try again. DH and i spent a lot of time alone together, conforting each other and it helped but i still have some hard days. try to find comfort in the fact that your angel is in Jesus' arms and you will one day meet again. if you ever want to talk you can email me. (just click on my name and there is a link) grouphug.gif grouphug.gif


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