Gack...Help; Need advice NOW - A daughter & a dance
redchief wrote: Kaitlin is really upset with me right now. She has a semi-formal dance tonight and I just got home from work. Lisa's picking up John and I have little "female" help. Kaitlin said she was going in a pair of cargo pants and a t-shirt. I said, "No way!"
She said if I didn't let her wear what she wanted she wasn't going. I said fine, then don't go, but you're not going in that.
Did I mess up somewhere? She's in her bedroom crying. Arrrrghhhh!!!
redchief replied: Whew... Lisa just got home. We'll see how she makes out.
kimberley replied: rut roh that's not good. have you tried to get her to compromise? maybe cargo pants with a nicer shirt  . if all the other kids are dressing that way, you don't want her to be overdressed, kwim? good luck. 
PrairieMom replied: Whats wrong with the cargo pants and t-shirt. I say let her go in what ever she wants ,and if she is underdressed, then she will feel like an idiot, and will now better for next time.
Have you tried to explain what is appropriate attire for a semi- formal?
mckayleesmom replied: I don't know....I was rather insecure as a teenager...still am....I would wear a dress now, but probably wouldn't have then.
ammommy replied: So what happened?
gr33n3y3z replied:
I will give you all a heads up
Katie doesnt care what ppl. think of her she dresses to her own style.
She will wear what she likes.
She told me it was to COLD out to wear a dress or skirt So i can relate to that.
Ed took her shopping she said were going to the boys section right Dad Ed said No!!!!!
But katie will never feel like an Idiot bc she doesnt care 
amymom replied:
Oh My I think my Mary Beth will be just like her when she is a teen. She is at her hockey practice now 
How old is Kaitlyn? Sorry I do not remember 
Good for her for having the self confidence to be who she is!
gr33n3y3z replied: [QUOTE=amymom,Dec 2 2005, 06:34 PM]
[/QUOTE]
Oh My I think my Mary Beth will be just like her when she is a teen. She is at her hockey practice now
How old is Kaitlyn? Sorry I do not remember
Good for her for having the self confidence to be who she is! [/QUOTE]
Katie is 12 
Hockey  thats cool Mary Beth
redchief replied: Yep... I did what any red-blooded male faced with a female wardrobe problem would do... I took her shopping. We got through it and she's off to the dance in an outfit both of us could agree on.
Thanks for the quick advice!
MyLuvBugs replied: Well, does she realize that it's a semi-formal dance? I say if she want's to go in cargos and a t-shirt that's her perogative. If she gets embarassed by it, then she'll learn, but you have to let teenage girls make their own fashion mistakes. lol Trust me.
MyLuvBugs replied:
LOL You're too funny! At least you were man enough to take her shopping. My DH wouldn't have ever done that.
So what did she end up wearing?
redchief replied:
Heheh... trust me... It was all in the name of keeping the peace.
She wore a very pretty pair of slacks, a light green sweater (very cute) with her own brand of "jewelry". Kaitlin isn't real big on dress up, but she did a fine job of being creative and putting together an outfit that was acceptable to the dress code and herself.
Unfortunately (and maybe partly because of the dress rules) the dance wasn't well attended. That didn't stop her from having a great time, though. The few kids that were there basically took over the DJ's job. 
coasterqueen replied: Sounds like it worked out well! At least you just didn't leave it at the beginning conversation. That's what my dad used to do and instead of offering to help me find something that would work he'd do what you did originally and that was it. I hated him so much at the time for it and the more he did things like that the more I just rebeled. 
redchief replied:
I couldn't ever leave it like that. I have no problem punishing my kids when they need it, but that wasn't what this was all about, which is why I was so desperate for advice last night.
Thanks to everyone who offered advice and encouragement. I was kind of beside myself; a position I don't find myself in often and am not comfortable being in. Thanks so much!
Maddie&EthansMom replied: Ed you are a great dad!!  She will really thank you one day for caring and being so understanding. I have a great dad, too. When my hormones were too much for my mother to handle he always stepped in and made me feel wonderful and we compromised. We have a great relationship to this day.
I think the slacks sound very nice and I'm glad she had a great time. Semi formal for that age is a little odd IMO. I would have never worn something 'semi-formal' to a jr high dance.  I was the same as Katie. I wanted to shop in the boy's section.  What do you expect with 3 older brothers?
MommyToAshley replied: Sorry I missed the original post, but sounds like you handled it great! I'm glad you were able to find a compromise. The school should really re-think it's dress code policy for the dance if that's the reason for low attendance.
TANNER'S MOM replied: I am glad you worked it out. I understand about her wanting to be her.. Brittany is going thru that alot now too.
Good Job Lisa and Ed!
redchief replied: Her smile and laughter while we shopped together last night (something I understandably don't often do; I've got ZERO taste in clothing) was thanks enough from my Katie. Apparently she finds a good deal of amusement in my total lack of taste.
We had a good time and talked about communication between us. Hopefully she'll be better able to discuss things with me in the future. Thanks again everyone.
jacobsmama replied: aww you are a great dad!! After reading all your post and reply I was smiling with a tear in my eye. Good Job dad!
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